My parents had a difficult marriage for as long as I can remember. They legally separated after 20 years of marriage - around 15 years ago and subsequetly divorced at some point during that time. During the last 15 years, they have remained mostly amicable although there have been periods of difficulty. Overall, for the sake of siblings and I, they do their best to tolerate each other. They both share the cost of birthday and Xmas presents. One parent is an only child and has no living family so we still have Christmas as one family and with my Aunt and Uncle who only child parent gets on with really well. They also both attended graduations together and when their respective parents died they attended each others parents funerals etc.
During the past 15 years neither has had a long term partner. Both have had short term partners but they don't speak to siblings and I about these people. DM owns a holiday flat in Spain following some inheritance she received around 5 years ago. She has not been going over much recently, due to covid restrictions but managed to go in June for 6-8 weeks. During this time she met a man who she spent lot of time with and picked up new hobbies with etc. She seemed to have a great time and was sad to come back to UK.
She returned again around end of Sept. Pre covid, she only used the flat for holidays. She was now considering going for extended periods (something she had spoken about for a long time) and planned to stay until Xmas, this would be her longest stay. When she got back to spain, the man she had been seeing was back in UK until only a few weeks ago. During this time, she wasn't doing her new hobbies and whilst she was enjoying being out in Spain, when I spoke to her on the phone, I didnt get the impression she was that sure about staying there or that she was particularly having a great time. She did seem to be focusing mostly on the negatives.
The man has now returned and DM seems much happier, is out doing the new hobbies again and is now thinking of staying in Spain for Xmas (partly due to covid concerns about getting back and costs of testing etc but the man being there is no doubt playing a part).
The man has his own property in Spain but is currently staying with my Mum. Mum said they are going half on food and bills etc so it is an arrangement that is helping them both. She said she considers this last chance saloon for herself and she hadn't had someone make her happy for a long time and she feels like he is (she certainly sounds it). They have also spoken about him moving in permanently although an agreement has not yet been reached as I understand.
I am happy for DM. I would love both parents to meet someone new. Selfishly, it would take some pressure of me as my siblings live abroad so I tend to help parents and make more effort seeing them etc but also because who wouldn't want their parents to be happy?!
I went to Spain on holiday during the summer when DM was back in UK. I have been going out to the area for a long time and know many people DM does. I enquired about the man and other than being considered tight, he seemed to be well liked.
AIBU to worry that things seem to be moving quickly? I don't want DM to be reliant on one man out there and to put all her eggs in one basket. What would happen if something went wrong. Is it crazy to have someone move in after knowing them for at most around 2 months? I am happy for DM, I just want her to be safe and secure. Not sure i can do anything but I feel a bit worried.