12 year old nasty voice messages

[Happyharry2003]

Hello
My 12 year old wasn’t treated very well by his peers in the last couple of years of primary. He was often excluded and at one point was physically pushed down a hill by a group of boys. Moving forwards… he has started secondary and made a good group of friends. I’ve found that with both my children that secondary friendships have been easier - mostly due to the lack of parental interfering! Last night, a group of his old class (and their mums) were at one of their houses. This morning I found voice messages from these boys calling my son ugly, saying he had a rubbish hair cut etc. My immediate reaction was to message their mums and say how horrid these kids messages were. My husband said we should just block those kids numbers and reassure my son he now has good friends and to try and ignore the messages he got, I went with his suggestion as I know I am fiercely protective of my children (who isn’t!!) but I’m just wondering if we made the right decision. I wouldn’t want these kids doing it to anyone else but I also don’t want to drag my son back into the drama of primary school that we were all happy to leave behind.

Is there a backstory with the mums? Just because you mention you think your kids find it easier to make friends at secondary where there’s less parental interference.

Based on what you said, I think your husband is probably right on the best route forward. What horrible kids, though. I’m sorry your son has that to deal with.

I think I would tell the parents - show them the messages if you still have them. If my sons did something bullying like this I would be angry with them.

If you have their parents contact details and their parents aren’t awful (bullies so often have psycho parents) then I personally would contact them, yes, to say that their children are harassing yours and giving details of what was said.

Another, option would be to inform the bullies’ current schools. Teachers are often better than parents at dealing with bullies even when the behaviour occurred offsite, as they know thet bullies who aren’t stopped at school often turn into criminals later.

People often say “just ignore bullies.” It is usually terrible advice.

Only backstory is the group of boys have mothers all from the same friendship group. The boys weren’t that friendly but were made into a group by the mums. Since starting secondary they have all gone their own ways without that parental influence. However they all met up at one of the mums houses last night hence the messages

I would be letting their parents know.

I would be furious if my child was doing this.

Hopefully the parents are aware that bullying by social media or sending messages/voice mails that are bullying/abusive can be reported to the police, in which case, they will ensure their kids stop!

I’d forward the messages to the parents of those on the recording and ask them to have a word, and say your son has blocked them so you hope it won’t be happening again, and leave it at that.