I really don't want my BIL to stay, my DH is insisting

[SophieLoafy]

AIBU?
My BIL (husbands step bro) in non covid times comes to stay once a quarter for a weekend. I dislike the man for a variety of very good reasons (deliberately showing me porn to shock me, pranks, unbelievable farting, and more). My DH changes when he is in town. They both become laddie, stay out til the small hours drinking, mess around in the house, hype up the children.
I am EXTREMELY anxious at the moment (panic attacks, medicated). I really don't want him to come and stay but my DH has already agreed it (didn't mention it to me first) , said he hasn't seen him for almost two years.
I don't want him here, I'm worried he'll bring in covid, I don't like him and I'm injured at the moment so I can't do anything at all in terms of housework or preparation for any visitor.
My DH got a bit funny with me when I said I didn't want him, wouldn't compromise and meet him half way in a hotel or go and stay at his house (the boys weekends are ALWAYS at ours and NEVER at his place).
Looks like I just have to stick it, but surely IANBU? For context I don't even particularly want my own parents staying here because of my anxiety and I like then!

Your BIL sounds like Uncle Buck !

Don't make up his bed, don't clean up their mess or cook. Leave it all to DH and BIL. Let them look after the kids while you visit friend or have a lie down.

If DH wants to invite guests, fine. He can host them .

Fuck that book somewhere for you and the kids or stay with your parents and leave them to it!

Long term....You and yr husband need to communicate better

Ground rules for both of them. DH would be getting a hard stare from me and I'd be very clear how it was going to be. Single step out of line and he wouldn't be a guest again

Due to the porn he would not be staying at my house.

Make sure dh shares a room with him for the full db experience.. You can have an early night and watch TV and eat crap in bed stress free. And you do absolutely zero in terms of hosting..

The farting isn't just "normal" it's dramatic, posed, extremely smelly, "funny" to everyone but me, and deliberately done in public

Farting in public isn't normal at all. It's a bodily function that can be controlled like any other. If it was normal to behave like that we'd have teachers farting in front of kids, restaurants full of farting couples, news bulletins interrupted by farting and every cinema, pub and social gathering emptied! It's piggish childish behaviour nobody should have to put up with.

What do you do when he farts, or shows porn …. Do you say “you are revolting, do not do that in our house again”? This is your home … stand up for yourself. He can stay, but there are rules.

Sorry I think it’s fair enough for you not to want him in your house, but equally fair for your husband to have him there. Don’t host him and leave him alone, but I think you need to just accept you’ll sometimes have guests you don’t want. What if he banned your family from visiting? And while you can’t help your health issues you also can’t turn the house into a prison for him, where he needs to curtail his own family interactions.