To be so fed up of people?

[AnAverageMum]

I’ve given away a decent piece of furniture recently, to help someone in need (I’d hoped) - just to see it for sale the next day. The same place I’d advertised it too!

I’ve also sold some baby items at very reasonable prices so people who might not usually be able to could afford them - just seen one of those items for double the price now online. The woman had me help her check it fit and everything…

People just seem ruder, less friendly and more greedy and ungrateful than ever before.

AIBU to think people are getting worse? Or maybe I’m just getting more sensitive to arseholes! 😂

Thank you @Ella. I feel pretty pissed off about it actually, there was someone else who wanted one of the baby items and she was lovely & definitely intended to use it. Feel awful for her too…

Is there a local organisation or similar that redistributes stuff for free specifically for those in need? We have both a clothes place and a toy place like that in my town & I try to give to there. They are not means-tested; anyone can ask for and receive clothes and toys but I do feel they go to those families who really need help. Otherwise specific friends with younger children who will use / appreciate them or charity shop. FB is a bloody nightmare & everyone is out for what they can get.

@mowly77 possibly, but not that I’ve heard of. Will look into it if I’m in this position again… definitely not Facebook.

[quote AnAverageMum]@Luredbyapomegranate
We’re allowed to call out things that we think are morally shitty though. I won’t be giving anything away personally again. If someone does it from a charity shop I won’t know will I…[/quote]
Oh for sure. I don’t especially like it either, but I do know that if there’s a way to spiv people will find it, and that was as true in the days of the Roman Empire as now.

I think if you want to be sure things go to those who genuinely need them, you have to donate to a refuge, local charity or similar. That takes a bit more effort but it will ensure delivery to those in need. Advertising free stuff on the major platforms is really just an easy way of getting rid of stuff, and you can't really stipulate what happens to it afterwards.

I've stopped giving to individuals because of what has happened to OP.
I CBA to sell things on-line, so everything goes to charity shops.

How do you know why they want them? Do you ask if they are hard up and in need before saying yes?

And if you do, how do you know they are telling the truth?

It's bizarre that people want to give things away but attach strings to it, like they should be bowing gratefully. You don't want it, they do. That's all that matters.

If you are so bothered take them to a charity.

@nokidshere they don’t want it though do they. They want to sell it. I’m not saying they need to be eating beans everyday and prove it to qualify for my great generosity (lol.)

I’d just rather they didn’t take it for free to make money off of my money. I even dropped off the item for one of the people! Tell me that is not taking the piss?

@nokidshere & I’ve already said I will be taking to charity in future 👍🏼

@nokidshere the idea about our freesite is passing thing on to people in need.
Not for the person to resell.
They probably took it from someone who really needed that item.

Yep I agree with how you feel OP, unlike some PP. Those people took the piss and abused your generosity. Try local churches to see if they know of schemes etc if you ever have more bits. It's harder work but if you want things to go to people in genuine need & you can be bothered to it it's worth a try. Or yeah just the charity shop. FB is just when you literally want to get rid & you don't care what happens to it. But even then I CBA with it anymore. It attracts the worst of the worst.

[quote AnAverageMum]@DrSbaitso

Purpose of the medium? .

Is there some where you go to give things away for free for people to sell? Sounds rubbish 😂

It was Facebook.[/quote]
Some things, like Freecycle, are intended not to be used for resellers. Some, like charity shops, don't care what you do if you pay the asking price.

Facebook? A bit off, but if you were prepared to give it or sell it for x price, I don't think you can tell them what to do with it. Agree that the charity shop is probably better in future, though you still can't guarantee what people will do once they buy it, and nor should you...they're just up for sale.

I gave up putting stuff up for free on Facebook pages or responding to posts asking for stuff. They were usually sold on despite pleading for stuff. And after putting a decent wooden toy kitchen up for free and getting called all manner of insults on the post and via messenger as I gave it the first reply by 1 minute (they also used please & Thankyou) I have never bothered since. Straight to the charity shop, or tip now.

A woman bought some things off me on Gumtree and haggled and haggled to get them for cheaper. Then a few days later I see all my items on Ebay five times the price she paid for them. Of course she's perfectly entitled to do that and the second she handed over money they were her's. But I still found her really cheeky and it annoyed me.

To balance, OP, there was a local fb appeal for a woman fleeing domestic violence and starting from scratch. I messaged her friend and said I would use my nectar points to get her what she needed once she'd heard from/collected from others, up to the value of £50. She came back and asked for tea towels so I got some nice ones and a decent Malbec (then had to add a corkscrew too as it had a cork and I didn't realise).
So, some people aren't takers/chancers

@LaPufalina ahh that’s lovely that 🙂

Agreed it’s rude but maybe they need the money more? Not saying I’d do that though but once we move into our own place from temp accommodation I’ll need everything as I’m not allowed my own furniture so would be grateful for gifts if people want to help me otherwise I’ll need to get the essentials and wait for everything else. I’ll just be happy, after 4 years in temp to have a bit of security for my children.

Just think that you’ve done a good thing op, you can’t control what other people do sadly.

@Iamkmackered1979 you’re exactly the sort of person I’d wanted to help. So instead of you getting some essential furniture for you and your children someone has made themselves a quick £50 😠 I really hope people help you when you need it…