To feel second best to an ex colleague who I replaced?

[Mls1984btc]

Did not expect to get this role so was a real surprise when I landed the job.

The person who I replaced was very methodical, outspoken, in short brilliant at her job.

I wasn’t fussed in the beginning of my job but couple of months down the line it has started to annoy me that the manager will mentioned her name and how she will do it every once in a while. All of her projects which she has since pass down to me ( which I actually discover a few major mistakes, of which the manager just waved it off) still have her name attached with people speaking fondly as her projects in the meeting.

AIBU to feel a bit put out by this?

Yeah I hear you. As said mines the same to the extent I actually spoke to my husband about it. I can’t quite put my finger on my feelings or what’s happening, it’s only my boss who is “besotted”. No one else. Even Last week he was saying ro everyone how sad he was she left. I felt weird listening to it. Felt like blurting out “ yup. Sad times now you’ve me, eh.”

But weirdly he doesn’t seem to correlate me versus her, like when he discusses it he doesn’t seem to think well blunts here and she has her job, more he sees us as seperate entities. He’s a great guy, but several months later when he talks about her about three or four times a week every week , whenever he can, I’ve definitely got the ick over it,

I didn’t know her, as I moved divisions, and I’m too new into this one to say to anyone “wtf” but I am watching everyone’s reactions when he does it, and it’s polite smiles and no one says anything, it’s just really odd. I think he’s starting to realise as no one says anything and just smiles politely that it’s weird, but he can’t quite stop himself.

I think if I had to call it, they got very close, and he had a crush, or was in love, maybe an affair, I don’t know if she reciprocated or she left because she didn’t and he was never going to let her move away from him.

Just too, too weird for words.

@Bluntness100

Yeah I hear you. As said mines the same to the extent I actually spoke to my husband about it. I can’t quite put my finger on my feelings or what’s happening, it’s only my boss who is “besotted”. No one else. Even Last week he was saying ro everyone how sad he was she left. I felt weird listening to it. Felt like blurting out “ yup. Sad times now you’ve me, eh.”

But weirdly he doesn’t seem to correlate me versus her, like when he discusses it he doesn’t seem to think well blunts here and she has her job, more he sees us as seperate entities. He’s a great guy, but several months later when he talks about her about three or four times a week every week , whenever he can, I’ve definitely got the ick over it,

I didn’t know her, as I moved divisions, and I’m too new into this one to say to anyone “wtf” but I am watching everyone’s reactions when he does it, and it’s polite smiles and no one says anything, it’s just really odd. I think he’s starting to realise as no one says anything and just smiles politely that it’s weird, but he can’t quite stop himself.

I think if I had to call it, they got very close, and he had a crush, or was in love, maybe an affair, I don’t know if she reciprocated or she left because she didn’t and he was never going to let her move away from him.

Just too, too weird for words.

Is your manager married?

Because mine is. Double eeeeekkkkk

Either he is or he is not it kind of makes me see him in a different light.

Is great to have his support but I think from now I am just going to ignore him or retort whenever he is going down that track.

Yeah he is, and she was about a decade younger than him

I am just very polite when he mentions her and nice about it, but I don’t indulge it. So if he says. Oh beryl and I did this, I say wow that’s great or that’s impressive, Great job, and then change the subject. If it’s to everyone I say nothing but smile politely,

This shit has so many emotions about it, it’s foolish to meddle in it I think.

I had this a few years ago. My boss who raved about her was eventually booted out and I replaced him. The woman who was mates with her and clearly resented me for taking her place (even though she resigned to move away) was also made redundant. I guess I must be ok, as I'm still there.

I think you need to make a bit of a stand about things like having her name on work projects. Just say no, she doesn't work here anymore so it isn't appropriate. I think having a few stock phrases in your back pocket that you can repeat over and again. Hopefully they will get the hint.

@Werehamster

I think you need to make a bit of a stand about things like having her name on work projects. Just say no, she doesn't work here anymore so it isn't appropriate. I think having a few stock phrases in your back pocket that you can repeat over and again. Hopefully they will get the hint.

I am going to speak up at the next meeting just to emphasise that I am the one who has been rectifying the issues that she overlooked with the shareholders. Several meetings over a couple of months of which the shareholders will not budged due to the fact it wasn’t raised when my predecessor was in charge of YEAR ago.