Christmas party

[ChristmasGrinchGrump]

I genuinely can’t work out if I’m being unreasonable here or not. It’s my works Christmas party this Friday. We are a small national team of about 40 people who work completely separately to cover the U.K. We usually meet in small regional groups three or four times a year for a full day face to face meeting, but haven’t done it in two years because of covid. A Christmas full team meeting was planned months ago. I was so excited to see everyone and have a (very rare!) night out. Except it’s supposed to be happening this Friday, and everything seems to be getting worse with covid again. We aren’t allowed to drive, have to take public transport, and it’s a full day meeting, and then big meal out on the evening with a pub crawl planned. I’m dreading it! They’ve said we will have to eat in groups of fours because we aren’t allowed to eat on a table together because the group is too big. We have to hold the meetings in two rooms, but will only use one. It just seems so stupid to be doing at the moment, and so close to Christmas. I asked my manager last week if it’s definitely going ahead and she was confused about why it wouldn’t be. The worst part is, the company make such a big deal to show off how ‘covid secure’ they are, but behind closed doors we are expected to pretend the rules don’t exist if it suits them.

YABU- stop being so scared and get on with it
YANBU- they’re being reckless and I shouldn’t go

Bump?

I don’t think they’re being reckless (and what rules are they pretending don’t exist, are there currently any rules?) but nor do I think you’re being stupid. Anxiety or fear isn’t always logical. I barely have covid on my register and my life is pretty much the same as it was prior to 2020 because it doesn’t phase me; but I acknowledge others feel differently. If you’re anxious, feign symptoms / waiting for a PCR and attend the meeting virtually.

Don't go.

YANBU - what do you mean by not allowed to drive? Surely you can drive if you want to?

I don’t think they can tell you that you must use public transport! Do you mean they haven’t provided parking? Maybe you could source some nearby if you’d rather avoid public transport?

They can’t force you to attend the evening outside of work hours either- I wouldn’t be going on a pub crawl with colleagues!

I'm confused about the not being able to drive, is it because theywant you to drink.

I'm not in favour personally of Christmas parties but I would want to drive so I can escape when I want

@LyraVega no. Normally we can drive to clients etc but for the Christmas meeting we have to use public transport. So I’m driving to the train station, getting a train to the meeting. Then getting a taxi to the hotel and then they’ve suggested a bus for the night out 🤔 but not allowed to claim expenses if I drive

No you don't have to use public transport

And think about what you're saying, buying your own petrol would be a damn sight cheaper than parking at the station, train fares, taxis and buses.

If you don't want to go then don't, but you're a grown woman and can transport yourself there and back however you see fit.

We aren’t allowed to drive, have to take public transport,

What kind of company is this

If you don't want to go, don't go. You're a grown ass woman, do what you like.

Just drive and don't attend the part outside of work hours. Noone can force you to use public transport or stay outwith work hours. If it's to do with drinking just say you're taking antibiotics

@WorraLiberty I do have to use public transport. The meeting is over 200 miles away, I can’t afford to spend my own money on the petrol for this. They will cover expenses, but I have to use public transport, they won’t cover petrol costs for this because of the distance. The evening out isn’t required, but the full day team meeting is. It’s a works meeting that I’m required to attend for my job 😞

You could develop ‘symptoms’ on the day if you really didn’t want to go?

[quote ChristmasGrinchGrump]@WorraLiberty I do have to use public transport. The meeting is over 200 miles away, I can’t afford to spend my own money on the petrol for this. They will cover expenses, but I have to use public transport, they won’t cover petrol costs for this because of the distance. The evening out isn’t required, but the full day team meeting is. It’s a works meeting that I’m required to attend for my job 😞[/quote]
That makes more sense. Ive worked in organisations which say travel must be public transport with private car allowed only if there is no public transport. Theory used to be that public transport was always cheaper, not sure that’s true today

@MereDintofPandiculation exactly. It’s a company with quite a public profile so I think it’s about perception rather than realistic?

@Olliesocks I might :(

For 200 miles away, does your company not let you use a hire car?

@SwedishEdith nope, no hiring a car unless yours breaks or equipment doesn’t fit in the one you own

YANBU. What's the point of having a huge dinner if people will be eating seperately?
Pub crawls with large groups never end well either.
Whoever planned it has no common sense...

Yeah this sounds like a drag.

I would have a cough.

Oh, I'd 'develop symptoms' as well then if you want to skip it. It can always turn out to be just a cold.

@Olliesocks

You could develop ‘symptoms’ on the day if you really didn’t want to go?

If you're going to do this, OP (and in your place I well might) do consider the best timing so that you are "unwell and possibly infectious" in a good timeframe before this all happens - and bear in mind there may well be other people thinking along the same lines ... 🌹