NC for this as could be outing.
Background: me and partner have 2 small children, 3 months & 17 months. The last few months have been very tough on both of us, DH works very hard long hours, I’m at home with the children - it hasn’t been the easiest (I’ve had various health issues, 2 c sections, gallstones lots of appointments/ recovery time etc nothing too serious) but we’ve just started finding our feet.
DH goes out yesterday for a friends birthday, an all day drinking event. I wanted him to have a good time, but equally worried as he can get very drunk and in my opinion, too drunk (but he very rarely goes out). we discussed this yesterday and he reassured me and promised me he wouldn’t go mad, he wouldn’t be back late and it would all be ok.
He left the house at around 12pm, a couple of messages between us during the day but I don’t hear from him for about 4 hours. I don’t expect to hear from him as I know he’s out probably having a good time, but when it got to 8pm I was starting to wonder what his plans were as he didn’t take keys with him, the train journey takes over an hour to get back home so would have thought this would be roughly the time he would either already be on his way back, or thinking about making his way home. He didn’t take house keys with him so would be relying on me to let him in.
Got hold of him and he was absolutely off his head drunk, didn’t know where he was, trying to find his way to a station, said he’d left all his friends and was on his own. He also was complaining of back pain and was shouting out in pain saying it was really bad and he’s in agony. That was all I could get out of him. He eventually seemed to make it back to a station (this was after many calls back and forth) he said he would call me back in 2 mins, and never did. So I assumed something had happened, a fight or he’s fallen over for his back to be hurt so badly. Anyway that was the last I heard from him at around 8.30pm, tried calling him repeatedly and no answer, I was so worried and going out of my mind. Contacted his friends who had no idea where he was either. It was horrible and I was so upset he got in that state when he promised he wouldn’t. I was thinking the worst, I suffer with anxiety so I do usually think of worst case scenarios in situations like this. the train from where he was to home takes about an hour so when that timeframe passed I was getting really worried. Eventually at about 12am I got a phone call from him very apologetic saying he fell asleep on the train, and he was now even further away from home and a taxi was costing £100 to get back. I was just so relieved he was ok. So I waited up till about 1am to let him in. It’s now 5am, he’s been throwing up and complaining of his back again, and now he’s back to sleep snoring away. I’m wide awake and absolutely FUMING about the whole situation. I’m clearly going to be the one having to look after our children all day today, he’s completely ruined the weekend, spent a ridiculous amount of money over £200 just before Christmas!! And worst of all he went and did the one thing I asked him not to do when he promised me he wouldn’t. Any advice welcome because right now I am so angry, tired and upset and not sure if I’m overreacting or not. Don’t know how to handle the situation in the morning. On the one hand he has already apologised and clearly feels rubbish already. He’s usually an amazing dad/ partner, but an event like this comes along and he takes it too far and causes so much stress by getting in such a mess. He has responsibilities now and I just feel so let down