In laws making no effort

[mumof2littlemonkeysx]

Hello just wondering if anyone else is in this situation? My in laws expect us to go see them
They never come to our house and they don't message during the week to ask how my children are ? We got sick of it and stopped going and they haven't seen my children in 3 weeks ( they live 5 minutes away ) I don't feel it's my sole responsibility to make sure my children have a relationship with their grandparents I feel it should be 50/50. they were happy to visit when my children were babies my children are 3 and 1 now I guess the novelty of a new baby has wore of!

It's up to your other half to maintain and build that relationship for your kids. You look after building their relationship with your parents (their grandparents).
If your other half isn't that keen, then you don't have to step up and fill that gap, though you could send them a message saying that they are welcome to visit so long as they give you a bit of notice that they're coming for a visit.

DDs, not Dfs.

And yes, it would be even worse if I was a MIL to DILs.

@Frlrlrubert

My mum realised she was always the one chasing her dad to see us, she decided she'd wait for him to call. He died about 15 years later without ever picking up the phone.

I personally would do the same, if they aren't bothered why bother.

That's very sad. Perhaps your grandfather was a bit like me and averse to initiating contact yet would have gladly accepted an invitation to visit had one been forthcoming? Is it possible that he may have had ASD or Aspergers?

Late 40's? We're late 40's, work full time and spend weekends with friends, dining out etc. Don't have GC but if I did not sure I would be doing any differently tbh, most people our age have only just got their freedom back from adult DC moving out. Doesn't mean they don't love GC but they're still young!

I completely understand. My in-laws didn’t even visit me in the hospital when I’d given birth and they lived a short bus ride from the hospital. They didn’t drive and they made their own way to our home once, they lived less than 2 miles away. That said we were happy to take the children to see their grandparents every week and they had a wonderful relationship with them. My DC were 18 and 16 when try FIL died and 19 and 17 my MIL. If it really bothers you talk to your DH but I doubt your in laws will change.

How sad, I see one set(!) all the time and miss them if a week goes buy without seeing them, the other set I don't see so much, as they are so busy and we all work full time, but do see them and would be there in a heartbeat if needed