Aibu partner leaving job

[Iadbu]

My SO is leaving his job in 2 weeks, then has almost a month off over Christmas during which time we’ll be going on a 2 week holiday before he starts his new role in a totally different company- so it will be a complete fresh start.

He is getting very irate about work at the moment, and I can’t seem to move my response beyond a little bit of sympathy and then saying it’s only two weeks… maybe you should just chill out? I say this because having gone through a career change myself, I think the best thing you can do when you leave is look after yourself and just survive the leaving process. Instead he’s taking on increasing amounts of work and taking a what would normally be really routine discussions at work for him really personally. He’s getting annoyed to the point where he’s spent a significant amount of time ranting about it to me on a Saturday evening.

I don’t know whether to just have a go at him and tell him to just get on with leaving and stop making a meal of it, or keep up the softly softly approach. It’s really starting to impact our relationship, as a glass half full person I think he has loads to look forward to and that leaving a job means you should take the pressure off yourself and just do what you need to go.

The other element to this is that his ranting has a ‘the whole world is against me’ feel to it, which really reminds me of estranged my dad. He was an alcoholic and I did not have a good relationship with him. It’s got to the point where my SO’s ranting is giving me flashbacks to growing up which makes me feel really uncomfortable and question our whole relationship.

So, am I being unreasonable to think he should be more positive, take things easy, and stop ranting at me about work? Or should I have more patience since it’s obviously a tricky time for him?

I think that you are not his emotional punch bag. Once you have explained how you are feeling he should be able to wind his neck in.

Your argument about "it's only two weeks" could apply equally well to you OP! He shouldn't be ranting at you but don't let this affect your relationship if it will only go on for a couple more weeks.

Could it be that he's feeling the pressure to get a 'handover' ready for when he leaves, and there's a lot to get sorted before anyone can take over?

I must admit, I hated my previous job and mentally checked out during my notice period - did the absolute bare minimum! But that's not always possible, so in that scenario I can see why he'd be a little bit stressed.

As you've said, it's only two weeks. Just support him as best you can and he'll soon be starting afresh.

Why is he so bothered he's bloody leaving the place. No way I'd stand for this I'd definitely be having a Frank conversation with him about it all or telling him to rant to someone else. Very odd behaviour. Maybe he's nervous or feels like he's making a mistake by leaving or something but either way he needs to chill out.

I dongbyjink you should have a go at him. He's obviously feeling the pressure Wether do with his current role or the change to his new one.

You just need to be honest with him, that you can't deal with his rants and they're having s very negative impact on you.

Also asking if there is anything specific he'd like to talk over - not rant about......