To see her point of view better the older I get?

[Lagomtransplant]

A woman is raised in a family alongside a "golden child".
She is refused same level of opportunities as the said golden child, based on ability that she had absolutely no influence over.
Refused higher education, but still managed to get as educated as possible using available short courses.
Finds a job and moves out as soon as possible after finishing education at home. She meets a guy, yet worries about telling him about her sibling. She's relieved when it doesn't bother him.
Has a couple of good years: gets married, buys a house, has a baby, husband is kind, faithful and a good provider.
The golden child gets involved with a partner her sibling can't begin to understand the value of, they get involved with a criminal organisation, insult everyone when tried to be reasoned with, then get themselves killed, leaving a 15 month old in the aunt's care, without any provisions for the child any with all property locked away until the child comes of age.
The child has incomprehensible, but considerable SEN, which weighs heavily on the aunt's capacity to work, parent and general quality of life. This frequently interferes with aunt's own child's upbringing.
The adopted child gets into trouble in school all the time, wreaks havoc on every family outing, almost ruins uncle's career, physically harms a family member, starts spending more and more time messing with same people who killed his parents, has a near miss in almost killing the biological child, can't go a school year without teetering on the brink of expulsion, breaks and enters government property and forces the family relocate the family home due to threat to life from his involvement with the aforementioned criminal organisation.

The family finally has enough, breaks ties and moves on with their life. Yet they are seen as bad guys!!!

The older I get and the more I think about it, the more kudos I give to aunt Petunia for putting up with all the crazy crap in her life!!! 🤪 AIBU?

@Lagomtransplant

A woman is raised in a family alongside a "golden child". She is refused same level of opportunities as the said golden child, based on ability that she had absolutely no influence over. Refused higher education, but still managed to get as educated as possible using available short courses. Finds a job and moves out as soon as possible after finishing education at home. She meets a guy, yet worries about telling him about her sibling. She's relieved when it doesn't bother him. Has a couple of good years: gets married, buys a house, has a baby, husband is kind, faithful and a good provider. The golden child gets involved with a partner her sibling can't begin to understand the value of, they get involved with a criminal organisation, insult everyone when tried to be reasoned with, then get themselves killed, leaving a 15 month old in the aunt's care, without any provisions for the child any with all property locked away until the child comes of age. The child has incomprehensible, but considerable SEN, which weighs heavily on the aunt's capacity to work, parent and general quality of life. This frequently interferes with aunt's own child's upbringing. The adopted child gets into trouble in school all the time, wreaks havoc on every family outing, almost ruins uncle's career, physically harms a family member, starts spending more and more time messing with same people who killed his parents, has a near miss in almost killing the biological child, can't go a school year without teetering on the brink of expulsion, breaks and enters government property and forces the family relocate the family home due to threat to life from his involvement with the aforementioned criminal organisation.

The family finally has enough, breaks ties and moves on with their life. Yet they are seen as bad guys!!!

The older I get and the more I think about it, the more kudos I give to aunt Petunia for putting up with all the crazy crap in her life!!! 🤪 AIBU?

I think your post is wrong for a number of reasons. I can't remember the books saying that Lily and James insulted the dursleys or were rude. The order of the phoenix was not a criminal organisation it was an organisation committed to protecting muggles (like the dursleys). It also never mentions Harry getting into much trouble at school with the exception of one incident. Marge was abusive to Harry and his response was involuntary. Even if all the previous statements were true, keeping a child under the stairs with less food, neglect, and clear favouritism to such a high degree is abusive. And no child should ever be abused no matter what the circumstances.

I suppose it’s an unregistered vigilante group, sort of a revolutionary civilian army type of thing.

Although wouldn’t have made a difference to Petunia. Not sure she would even have really know about it.