Small family, difficult relationship growing up mainly due to constant criticism and digs by mum and step dad. Moved back near them 10 when mum got ill.
For a while things were much better, but then the digs and undermining started. If I have a disagreement with someone I am on the wrong. everything I do is wrong. I am clumsy, stupid etc etc. None of this is stated explicitly but it is constant. I had a few periods where I was out of contact with them for a few days to get over it and calm down.
Yesterday I went to see a friend for coffee for a few hours. I have been really down this year and have not done much socially. My step dad is often weird when I go out by myself but this was the most extreme reaction. I came back to him scowling at me and looking really angry. First he blamed me for flooding his kitchen (I don't think I did as I put the glass I used back in the sink and the tap was off) so I apologized. And I think flooding the kitchen was a bit dramatic, as it was perfectly fine. And then he said that my dog (whom I had left with him while I was out) had been a nuisance, as she got out onto the road and was brought back by someone passing. I asked if she had followed me out, thinking I had been careless in leaving. Turns out it was not me at all, he had left the gate open and she had wandered off while he was in the garden. FWIW we often look after each others dogs like this and he gets upset if he does not see her regularly.
I asked how that could be my fault and he smirked at me. And I lost it. I said I was not dealing with this crap and walked out. Now I feel alternately angry and guilty. There is lots more background but I did not want to overwhelm.
YABU - he is a distressed 78 year old man at a difficult time of year.
YANBU - this is abusive behaviour and you were right to walk away.