But then he'll say I have loose morals and that he struggles.
OH DOES HE NOW?
This, from the drunk cheat, who gets angry when you flinch?
Who wonders if you are "normal now"?
How DARE he talk to you like that!?
OP, this man is already being bloody horrible to you, & it's only been 5 months.
The absolute tool is making the trauma you suffered all about him.
He thinks he is entitled to pry into your private past & sit in smug judgement.
When he parades his jealousy & possessiveness like this, he is telling you he thinks he owns your body.
He has a sick obsession with your abuse, he demands that you present as 'normal' (WTF?!) so he doesn;t have to consider your needs - only his.
What he means by "normal" btw is "don't flinch, because that might be a precursor to me not getting sex from you tonight. Also, I don't want to deal with any discomfort, so don't expect kind treatment from me."
He is conditioning you to accept being abused all over again.
And you know this - well done you for spotting it this early in - They made me feel worthless and unlovable and im so angry he's making me feel the same way.
Be angry my dear.
He will never treat you right.
Ditch the loser, he will never heal from being an arsehole, but you ARE healing, & will continue to do so as soon as you are out of this man's clutches.
He can't handle the thought of your abuse - not because he is appalled & shocked & protective of you - but because he is a mean little man who can't handle the concept that your body has been in 'possession' of other men.
That jealousy is a dumping offence on its own btw. He will punish you for his own inadequacies until you are miserable, & trapped again in another debilitating relationship.
Please spend some time single. You need to think about you, not second guessing some man's delicate little emotions as he proves to you how weak he is.
What support have you had around the previous abuse?
Counselling, Survivors Groups, training?
If you are not already aware, have a look at this course - www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php
It teaches how to spot & avoid falling into the same trap with another abuser, & I seriously hope you kick this man to the kerb, & spend a year or so just with yourself, receiving the help you need & deserve.
You are brave, you have survived, you recognised the early signs here with this awful man - you can do this. Put yourself first, & forget about men until you have nurtured & educated yourself & found some good real life support via Counselling, The Freedom Programme, & the resources shown here - www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/
