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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To try to protect DC from horrible things on the news

39 replies

19Bears · 03/12/2021 19:04

The 6 o clock news was about to start and I knew they would be leading with the awful story about Arthur. I went to get the remote to switch channels as the DC were sitting right in front of the TV and I really didn't want them listening to the harrowing details. But DH had already picked up the remote - to tut the volume up!! I took it off him quickly but he was moaning that he wanted to see it, that it was a terrible story, and that it was important to hear what sentence the parents had got. I'm not arguing that it's not an awful story, just that I don't want my kids hearing about this right now! It's Christmas ffs. Last Christmas he decided in his wisdom that would be a good day to watch something about authors writing about death. I just think some things they should be shielded from. Is it just me?

OP posts:
Icantremembermyusername · 03/12/2021 19:07

I don't watch the news with DC. We watch newsround. I want them to be aware but not traumatised! Sometimes the radio is on the car, and they hear more than I would like, but we talk it through. He's making poor choices, I believe.

Mindymomo · 03/12/2021 19:08

Absolutely shocking, if my children were young, I would definitely try and not let them see it on the news. Even I cannot watch it. How on earth do you try and explain it to little children, when we cannot understand it ourselves.

pigsDOfly · 03/12/2021 19:09

Tbh I try not listen to details of these sort of things, let alone let children hear them. I'm with you OP.

Santaischeckinglists · 03/12/2021 19:09

Dh rushed ds 7 out of the room when teens had that item on. At 7 I don't think he needs to hear a similar age dc feels /felt unloved... Hell I haven't even managed to hear the videos..
They are aware of Covid though. And The Rules that ever change.

Tal45 · 03/12/2021 19:10

Yeah I always did the same as you OP. This story is enough to give an adult nightmares I really don't think kids need to hear about it.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/12/2021 19:11

Is so easy to find the details of news stories these days, you just go to a news website. You don't have to watch the TV news in front of children.

They don't need to be shielded from everything, but some stuff is unnecessary.

MrsColon · 03/12/2021 19:12

How old are they? If they're mid teens I see his point, if young children YANBU at all.

SickAndTiredAgain · 03/12/2021 19:12

You’ve not said the age of the DC, which I think is important.

Hospedia · 03/12/2021 19:12

How old are they? Obviously it's an individual parenting decision and depends on the age of the children but I don't shield mine from the news, most of rhebtime they don't notice what the stories are - good and bad - but when they do we talk through them and I answer any questions they have in an age appropriate way.

PleasantBirthday · 03/12/2021 19:13

My mother used to send us out of the room if there was something unsuitable on the news.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/12/2021 19:14

No need for young kids to hear the Arthur story

Newsround or the children’s week are great for building an interest in the world which I do think is important. Authors writing c death wouldn’t bother me (unless I had a very anxious child), I think death in general is too swept under carpet, it’s part of life.

Sirzy · 03/12/2021 19:14

How old are they?

I don’t think hiding them away from the news is ever the right approach personally, much better to find an age appropriate way to discuss things.

icedcoffees · 03/12/2021 19:16

How old are your DC?

Primary age, YANBU.
Secondary age, YABU.

21dolly · 03/12/2021 19:18

It depends how old the kids are imo

Hospedia · 03/12/2021 19:20

I don’t think hiding them away from the news is ever the right approach personally, much better to find an age appropriate way to discuss things.

Exactly this.

My DC are aged between 12 and 4. They're aware of today's lead story and they had some questions which I answered, we also had a talk about the importance of telling a trusted grown up if someone is hurting them or if someone they know is being hurt.

Stormwhale · 03/12/2021 19:21

The news does not go on in front of children in our house. As a child my df watched the news morning and night and I was incredibly anxious, thinking my loved ones would all die/be murdered or there would be a natural disaster at any moment. Children can't understand that although these things are reported daily, they do not happen to everyone all the time. I dont want my children being so scared and anxious like I was. I want them to be sheltered from it all.

Original poster
19Bears · 03/12/2021 19:25

@Luredbyapomegranate just maybe not on Christmas Day morning while the kids are opening their presents... Hmm

My youngest is 9 and I didn't want him hearing about it when we were having a fun time playing games before tea. If DH wants to see it, he can see it later. I agree they shouldn't be shielded from everything, but there are exceptions, and this is one.

OP posts:
saraclara · 03/12/2021 19:26

To be honest I think more children are far more anxious about Covid than this.

They live with decent parents who they know wouldn't do this to them. So they don't see this as a threat to them

I grew up with the news constantly being about the moors murders. It didn't scare me at all. It wasn't real to me. I didn't have the life experience to understand the horror of it. And I don't think children today will have the same got wrenching emotions that we have about this either.

But covid is out there, in their classrooms, affecting every area of their lives, with people like their grandparents and parents dying. That's the daily news that I wish they weren't exposed to.

Also I think rushing them or of the room makes them more anxious, not less, to be honest.

AlternativePerspective · 03/12/2021 19:27

I don’t think hiding them away from the news is ever the right approach personally, much better to find an age appropriate way to discuss things. this.

It’s unrealistic to bring children up to have a rosy view of the world because at some point they’re going to realise that the world isn’t like that, and that good and bad exists.

I was never shielded from the news at any age and I grew up with a profound interest in current affairs.

I do think that the way news is reported sometimes though is unreasonable, even for adults. That video which was released never should have been. We can know what happened to that poor child without having to watch it in detail. There was absolutely no reason other than voyeurism to release or indeed to watch that video.

saraclara · 03/12/2021 19:28

Oh yes, and climate change. Seriously, there is so much news that worries them far more than what happened to a child with parents unlike their own.

StillWeRise · 03/12/2021 19:29

YANBU, of all the distressing stories there are in the news, this would be the one I would try and protect my children from
And I'd be upset if my co-parent did not share my view.

countingto10 · 03/12/2021 19:29

I remember reading/seeing the newspaper headlines about Maria Colwell and hearing about her on the news. I was the same age as her at the time. I had nightmares about it at the time. It was local to us. Everytime something like this happens, I always remember Maria Colwell. It had a bit effect on me at that young age. So yes, it is probably right that you shield younger children from it. Although in the ‘70s, there wasn’t wall to wall news channels etc.

And nothing seems to change, there will always be Arthur’s and Maria’s. There was a public enquiry after Maria’s death (very similar situation to Arthur’s), the country was supposedly so shocked that another child should never again slip though the net like she did but here we are nearly 50 yrs later……

FurrFeather · 03/12/2021 19:31

I would. The media really love to go into disgusting detail. The DM and Maxwell coverage was pornographic. Atrocious.

TheCanyon · 03/12/2021 19:31

@Sirzy

How old are they?

I don’t think hiding them away from the news is ever the right approach personally, much better to find an age appropriate way to discuss things.

Absolutely this. I speak to my kids about anything and everything we/they come across in the news. I read far too much true crime, i feel the need to protect and educate my kids from the potential dangers everywhere in their lives. And yes this includes child cases. They are not fearful or anxious in the slightest.
mewkins · 03/12/2021 19:32

I only ever have the radio on and when the news bulletin comes on I sometimes turn it off. Yesterday was a prime example. My youngest dc is 7 and he always comments that it is sad news. If it is general covid stuff I leave it on but how do I explain something so awful about a child slightly younger than him? My eldest is 11 and we would have a bit more of a discussion.

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