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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be upset at my husband's excessive computer use

24 replies

annthesurveyor · 17/12/2007 13:18

As the song goes "you're so vain you probably think this song is about you". This time BW this song is for you, no doubt you will read this and maybe you will realise what a state I'm in as all you ever do is read mumsnet and click aimlessly at things while I do the housework.

I have got a slipped disc and we (yes we) have got a 6 month old teething daughter. I am waiting for an operation on the back, and I have little doubt that you will be nothing less than wonderful as you cope with my absence from the house (and I mean that most sincerely). Where you lack in wonderfulness is leaving me to hobble around the house, making feeds (sorry breastfeeders, I bottle feed out of care for my baby so I don't pass on my very strong analgesics that enable me to do things like stand up) and generally keep the house running. You on the other hand sit on the computer, baby in one hand computer in the other. Sitting on the computer holding our baby does not count as entertaining her.

Now BW you have read this, please can you give me a hand. The 'ow's are genuine, they are not a device to elicit pity, they are merely a reaction to severe pain. Doesn't the fact that I need an operation and am attending pain clinic give you a clue to what pain I'm in? There are lots of chores to do, so why not do some of them without expecting to be lavished praise and recognition like I do to you. I know doing stuff round here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit but I get on with it. I asked you to do one thing for me which, yes, involved the computer while I did some shopping for an hour, yet you got very grumpy in the style of a moody teenager for the fact of being asked to do something while I was out. I have enough to cope with having a 6 month old - I don't need a moody teenager into the bargain.

I am doing this to embarrass you into helping me, I know full well I am being unreasonable, and don't frankly care. I won't be returning to this post to listen to the detractors. You leaving me to make the feeds this morning before my early morning pain killers had kicked in was the final straw, I remain convinced you did it to make a point. Please read this BW and get off that computer (it's not like you can't use the computer at work) and look around. I have not destroyed the computer like I threatened to (that would be unreasonable) but I would just like it to be put away in its case for a few days while you give me some help. I know that this will not make a hapeth of difference but it's worth a go.

OP posts:
ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 17/12/2007 13:25

Bumping this one!!!!

(My DH could post this except he doesn't have a bad back and we don't have a baby!).

And Annthesurveyor - YANBU!!!!!

ArmadilloDaMan · 17/12/2007 13:25

YANBU - hope he reads this adn comes to look after you.

camillathechicken · 17/12/2007 13:27

am a bit at this

surely writing him a letter, rather than embarassing him on mumsnet would be better? will this not make him really defensive?

i can see you are having a really hard time, and it must be so frustrating, but i think this might escalate things...

mynameisnic · 17/12/2007 13:28

Yeah, get up off your lazy anus and help out!

FioFio · 17/12/2007 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 17/12/2007 13:30

YANBU - get off your arse BW you lazy unthoughtful m8therfucker.

ShinyHappyStarOfBethlehem · 17/12/2007 13:31

Does he mumsnet a lot then? Why not just email him the same? (But Ann won't be reading this will she...)

Mellieandmin · 17/12/2007 13:31

YANBU!!!!!!

I am a computer game widow and it drives me MAD!!!!!

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 17/12/2007 13:31

That could be RL initials not MN name. He may just lurk.

eeewahwoowah · 17/12/2007 13:40

oooh, dirty linen in public . Radical approach ann, i hope it has the desired outcome.

RubySlippedonastraymincepie · 17/12/2007 13:43

why wouldn't you just speak to him

what will this achieve - not sure "naming and shaming" is constructive

people don't respond well to being backed into corners IME

you do sound like you are having a miserable time, and YANBU about wanting more help, but not sure this is the way to do it

GreebosWhiskers · 17/12/2007 13:59

YANBU.

I can't think of anyone with the initials BW offhand so probably his RL name, in which case he's not really been named & shamed has he?

Whoever you are get up off your arse & go & help your poor suffering wife who's obviously getting rather desperate to have to resort to this (I doubt if the OP took this action lightly after all).

GreebosWhiskers · 17/12/2007 14:00

That was supposed to be

DaddyJoseph · 17/12/2007 14:07

Jesus wept.
Tis not a good time to be a Dad on Mumsnet..

BW, I do sympathise, this place is strangely addictive.
However, the whole point of being here is so that
we can support our families better, non??

Do the right thing, mate.

TheIceQueen · 17/12/2007 14:09

YANBU on the whole - however my DH often has DS3 (6 1/2 months) in his arms/on his knee as he's doing rather "mundane" stuff - and As far as I'm concerned he'd entertaining him - babies look watching us do "normal" stuff as well as looking at bright toys

ShinyHappyStarOfBethlehem · 17/12/2007 14:17

DJ, it's a perfectly good time to be a dad on Mumsnet for those who are able to behave themselves. The same goes for mums obviously; just that there are more of us. Seems that some Mners get a teensy bit over excited at seeing male Mners and that a few of the male Mners (very few) are unable to to say no. Shame really seeing as the basis of this community is about families even if we do all enjoy a joke and to let off steam.

annthesurveyor · 17/12/2007 16:03

This is a big apology to BW. I love you xxx

Literally 10 mins after I posted this, I thought we had burglars but it turned out to be BW who had taken the afternoon off as flexi, made excuses to his boss and come home to help me out because I was so upset. I am sat here with a cup of tea that he's kindly made for me and he is being so lovely to me.

If I could retract my rant on I would, but instead I hope you won't mind my saying that I'm really truly sorry for moaning, I love you so much, I'm so glad I married you, and I love that we're a family now xxxxxxxx

BW you're my hero!

OP posts:
camillathechicken · 17/12/2007 16:06

i love a happy ending !

rosmincepieeater · 17/12/2007 16:16

awwwww[soppy face]

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 17/12/2007 16:40

Aw bless!

See - it had the desired effect!

GreebosWhiskers · 17/12/2007 16:41

Aaaaawwwww!

TheIceQueen · 17/12/2007 16:42

awwwww

(but I still think that "entertaining" a 6 month old can include having them sat on your knee while you use the computer

Nightynight · 17/12/2007 17:03

love this thread, but we still dont know who BW is!!

Hope your operation comes soon and goes well.

Nightynight · 17/12/2007 17:03

ann you can ask mumsnet to delete your post, but please dont, it is such a good rant!

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