As the song goes "you're so vain you probably think this song is about you". This time BW this song is for you, no doubt you will read this and maybe you will realise what a state I'm in as all you ever do is read mumsnet and click aimlessly at things while I do the housework.
I have got a slipped disc and we (yes we) have got a 6 month old teething daughter. I am waiting for an operation on the back, and I have little doubt that you will be nothing less than wonderful as you cope with my absence from the house (and I mean that most sincerely). Where you lack in wonderfulness is leaving me to hobble around the house, making feeds (sorry breastfeeders, I bottle feed out of care for my baby so I don't pass on my very strong analgesics that enable me to do things like stand up) and generally keep the house running. You on the other hand sit on the computer, baby in one hand computer in the other. Sitting on the computer holding our baby does not count as entertaining her.
Now BW you have read this, please can you give me a hand. The 'ow's are genuine, they are not a device to elicit pity, they are merely a reaction to severe pain. Doesn't the fact that I need an operation and am attending pain clinic give you a clue to what pain I'm in? There are lots of chores to do, so why not do some of them without expecting to be lavished praise and recognition like I do to you. I know doing stuff round here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit but I get on with it. I asked you to do one thing for me which, yes, involved the computer while I did some shopping for an hour, yet you got very grumpy in the style of a moody teenager for the fact of being asked to do something while I was out. I have enough to cope with having a 6 month old - I don't need a moody teenager into the bargain.
I am doing this to embarrass you into helping me, I know full well I am being unreasonable, and don't frankly care. I won't be returning to this post to listen to the detractors. You leaving me to make the feeds this morning before my early morning pain killers had kicked in was the final straw, I remain convinced you did it to make a point. Please read this BW and get off that computer (it's not like you can't use the computer at work) and look around. I have not destroyed the computer like I threatened to (that would be unreasonable) but I would just like it to be put away in its case for a few days while you give me some help. I know that this will not make a hapeth of difference but it's worth a go.