2 year old can’t talk properly, am I being unreasonable to be worried?

[User123654123654]

As the title says, bit worried about my 2yr old dd. She started nursery this year and although her 2 year development check went relatively well (over the phone), the nursery have expressed concern about her lack of communication (which obviously has me feeling all kinds of worry and guilt!!)

She can say the odd word when communicating with me, is a chatterbox in regards to constant babbling, understands most of what I tell her, however cannot say sentences yet. She tries to repeat words to me sometimes and often will be able to. But in terms of sentences, there hasn’t been any.

Am I being unreasonable to be worried? Has anyone experienced this? What can I do to help her improve her communication skills?

Thank you in advance.

I am a Speech Pathologist (Australia) and would definitely follow it up based on what you have said

Hi OP, my DS was very similar and I started a thread here around the same time! It’s so worrying isn’t it.

Basically he got to about 2 years 8 or 9 months I think, opened this mouth and hasn’t stopped talking since. He’s just turned 3 and has pretty much caught up with his friends.

I did take him to a speech pathologist just to be safe and they did give us some strategies which I think definitely helped. We found that because he could understand us perfectly, we would often speak for him and speak quite complex sentences to him.

So instead for a while we brought our language and sentence structure down to a more basic level when speaking to him. So instead of ‘DS can you quickly go and pop your shoes on because we’re going to the shops’, it was just ‘shoes on please!’. We found this made quite a difference quite quickly.

Would you be worried about a two year old that understands what is being said but doesn't say a single word yet?

He was two at the end of last month, so only just two.

YANBU. I had this with DD. She was seriously behind. Her speech wasn't clear and she was making the same sounds for several words. For example cah-cah could be cat,carrot,car or castle depending on context.

I talked to health visitors and her preschool. It was all wait another 2 months/3 months/6 months. You can't self refer where I am so we waited. And waited. Once she was at a school nursery she finally was referred, and while the SALT therapist agreed she was delayed she said to give her another 6 months and we'll reassess then if I still had concerns. Once she got to reception she had caught up and they had no concerns so we never went back.

It might be something,it might not. It might sort itself out, it might not. If you are concerned however, you do have to be insistent and firm that she needs help/a referral. I wasn't as confident back then which i still regret even if she is fine now.

It's positive that nursery have picked it up, even if it turns out to be a false alarm. It is worth getting her hearing checked ( you can ask your GP for a referral) as glue ear is common at this age and can impact on speech and language development.

Children do develop at different rates but PP are right that the expectation for 2 years is approximately 50 words (consistent words for the same thing, even if they don't sound exactly like the adult version) and starting to join words together to make short phrases.

I often recommend the Talking Point website to parents as it has a progress checker and good tips you can use to help with communication for different ages and stages

ican.org.uk/i-cans-talking-point/progress-checker-home/2-years/

( I am a SALT by the way!)

More tips for 2 year olds here:

ican.org.uk/media/3290/my-two-year-old-is-not-saying-many-words.pdf

My little girl was 2 in October and has maybe 15 words or so. She's making so much progress though. This week she's learned 'socks' and 'hot' when near the oven or has hot food!
Her understanding is great. I'm a little worried about her speech.

A BiL of mine barely uttered at all until he was 3. MiL once told me she’d been getting very worried. But once he started, it came out in full sentences. He’d just been taking it all in and biding his time.
He eventually went on to win a scholarship to Cambridge.

If the nursery has picked it up definitely follow it up, your lucky to have their concerns noted, try and get seen by speech and language and search up tips you can do yourself whilst waiting.
Much of it will consist of you constantly talking,, clearly and with emphasis so your child can hear you properly (get hearing checked as well).

Bird, cat, sit, eat, hungry.

Simple words or very short broken down sentences eg.
Amy hungry? Amy want food?

Then build up. They had farm when we did it, sheep.. Baa baa
. Sheep then build up, sheep in field, sheep in farm yard. Sheep on chair...

Sheep under chair.

All said with massive over emphasis m

Does your nursery do WellComm assessments? This is a good tool at pinpointing how big the delay could be in speech and how well they understand what is being said. There are also a lot of activities that can target the areas that get pin pointed as a concern.

Nursery staff will have a good idea of what is outside the normal range for the age and they are right to let you know so you can get things moving for SALT referrals and hearing tests while she is still young. Most children do catch up between 3-4 but some need the extra support and it’s best to get it in place before school.

My children all had speech therapy and were very late talkers.

I agree you should seek advice, but just to reassure you, if she can understand and respond to questions eg, you ask where's your coat? and she fetches it, there probably isn't much to worry about. I found that the babble got clearer and clearer, like tuning in a radio, till suddenly they were speaking properly.

My dd was the worst of the three, could not say a single clear word at her 2 year check, and is now studying languages at Uni (oh the irony!) with a perfect speaking voice and massive vocabulary.

@HoseMeDownWithHolyWater I would be worried and my advice to you would be the same as my previous messages to the op. I am not an hcp but a mum who has been through this.

@Thecazelets such a good point about ICAN. They are an amazing charity and I should have mentioned their slt helpline.

Op if you ring the ICAN helpline you can book an appointment with John their very experienced and kind slt. He is very very knowledgeable and while he can’t dx anything as he hasn’t seen your child he is very good on resources, how to push for help and is a very supportive listener.

I remember being worried before my songs 2 year check and thought he would be referred to SALT as his speech was way behind what his sister's had been. We were on the third floor of a building and he looked out the window and said" daddy's car" and they said that was all they needed to hear... more than one word strung together. He still doesn't say much aged 16!!

@MissHavershamReturns

Thank you. I'll read now. He's not my child. He's my best friends son so I just wanted to educate myself so I can support her if needed.

I went through similar with my now 7 year old. I was living in a flying start area at the time and he was referred to a group speach and language session that was very much based on play. My DS wasn't quite 2 when he was referred and also had some understanding issues. He moved to one on SALT when we moved areas at 2 years 10 months but this was mainly for understanding and following language as opposed to speaking. He doesn't shut up now and at 5 started in Welsh medium education (we don't speak Welsh at home) so is also bilingual

A few thing that I was told to encourage speach were:
Use option with open questions eg would you like water or milk? Instead of do you want milk? This encourages them to use more words instead of yes or no.
Repeat things back to them that they say eg. My son would stand by the gate when DH got home from work and say Dada, Dada. I would repeat Yes daddy's home. It's to do with modelling the language.
I was told it takes about 10 seconds for toddler to process what's been said so make sure you give them time to to responds.
Just keep talking to them. Get down on their level, lots of eye contact and keep chatting with them.

Do keep pushing for a referral and I hope you'll get seen soon.

Definitely arrange a hearing test, just to rule out any issues there. But also get her sight checked - poor vision can massively affect speech and language development.

Just to say, that the some nurseries can be very kind of black and white about milestones etc. When my son was in a private nursery as soon as he turned two there were a list of expectations like no bib at meal times and no help with shoes etc that to me seemed highly unrealistic for him. He was similar in only having a few words and needing lots done for him. He's 5 now and perfectly fine with an impressive vocabulary for his age!
My daughter on the other hand was 2 in October and has been speaking in sentences for months and does her own shoes and socks... so I know now maybe it's not unrealistic it's more just that it doesn't suit every child. I guess I'm saying take it with a pinch of salt but definitely follow your gut if you feel she needs support!

Just to add, this is just advice I was given 5 years ago. Things may have changed now. It's so worrying though isn't it.

@User123654123654

I will ring the health visitor and get some advice on regards to this. When we had the 2 year check up she didn’t express any concerns when it came to the language and communication, however the nursery have mentioned it a couple of times now and have actually spent a good chunk of time with her so I assume their opinion is more valid.

I would also speak to HV. I have recently done the 2 year developmental check and the questionnaire asks about child forming sentences and on the phone discussion included asking about that so I'm surprised that the HV had no concerns at all. If I recall, the one year check had questions about words being spoken.

It may be that only babbling and repetition is still in the right range of development as every child is different but they can better advise you. For that reason I won't say what my daughter or any of her friends can do as I'm not sure it is helpful as they could be anywhere on the spectrum of what is to be expected and it is hard to then properly judge.

My now 8 year old didn't talk until about 3. He is now one of the top readers in his class and has been for a while. We moved and changed schools recently and he told me what his friends where reading in free time compared to what he was reading. His spelling is equally excellent. Get some advise op but I'm sure he will get there in the end! Always better to check

@HoseMeDownWithHolyWater it’s lovely you want to help your friend. As I’m sure you realise it can be really hard to be a parent in this position with a child you gradually realise is getting more and more delayed. Particularly as your friend’s child seems to lack an understanding of language.

Personally I experienced a whirlwind of painful emotions and actually recently did a course on parenting, where I felt they described it very accurately, as shock, denial, anger and grief. These feelings are so natural and understandable, but IME they can get in the way of asking for help. I wish I had raised my dd 1’s development at 1 year when I first realised she was not developing completely typically, but I was frightened and kept pushing away what I was seeing to the back of my mind.

I’m mentioning this because from my own experience (helping an older friend in a similar situation years ago) it’s not easy to be the concerned friend and work out how best to help.

Ultimately most parents in my situation with dd1 ultimately reach an emotional state of something closer to acceptance of the current situation, where they can move forward and get the help they need. I got there myself in the end, but it took me some time. I can’t speak for al parents in this position of course, but this is how it was for me.

Has she discussed it with you? The hearing test might be the best thing to suggest at first?

@Jenster03

My little girl was 2 in October and has maybe 15 words or so. She's making so much progress though. This week she's learned 'socks' and 'hot' when near the oven or has hot food! Her understanding is great. I'm a little worried about her speech.

Mention it at her review. That's quite a low number of words but may be fine on the spectrum of development.

My daughter didnt speak until 2.5. Turned out to be glue ear. So agree with a hearing
Test also.

Posters that pipe up with anecdotes like "my DS didn't speak until he was 9 and now he's a professor of the universe" really irk me.
There are children who have language delays that naturally resolve but there's a significant proportion where a language delay can be a disorder or a symptom of something else, or the language delay can result in negative behaviours and low self esteem.
Not trying to scare monger but it's always worth seeking advice. Early intervention is very important and will never cause harm.
Agree with the poster who mentioned Hansen and iCan.