To ask you how to deal with workplace bullying?

[WandaVision2]

For some time, a member of my team has behaved in a way towards me that I’ve started to realise is bullying.

Two other team members who have witnessed things that have happened have both, independently from each other, described it as bullying

It’s at a point where I am going to request a transfer to a different team because it’s starting to have a real impact on my mental health. I need to speak to my manager today and I’ve decided to be honest about what has happened.

The only problem is that I don’t know how to explain how this person has made me feel. It’s all been verbal so I don’t have any emails etc. I know she will deny it and so it will end up being her word against mine which makes it difficult to prove. I’m also worried I will be seen as a trouble maker. The two people who have witnessed things will still have to work with this person so I don’t think it is fair to drag them into it.

I’d really appreciate and thoughts or advice

Did you keep a record of when she was bullying? If not you need to start doing it. Stick to facts, times, dates and what she said. Good luck.

My approach was to ignore it and hope it went away, but that's not necessarily the advice I'd give to others! You are right to be concerned that raising it with your manager may label you as a "troublemaker" but really, what choice do you have? Bullying is the sort of thing that can only be solved through the official channels (other than the bully or victim changing jobs entirely).

I think the thing to weigh up is, what is worse, ignoring it and letting it continue or raising it and (potentially) being thought of (unfairly) as a troublemaker? Only you know that, but from the outside the advice would usually be you have to deal with this.

The fact that two people have witnessed it helps your case. Could you informally ask them if they are willing to support you if you make a complaint? Are they the sort of people who you can trust, or is there a chance they'd tell the bully you were reporting them? (The bully will find out eventually of course when you make it official.)

My approach was to move teams, but I had started to record each incidence and I didn't move specifically because of it. It's horrible. My bully laughed in my face and openly bad mouthed me to people I had never even met. All I did was take on an aspect of her work. She also made sure I did not have any instruction to do it so that I learned by repeatedly failing. In the end I developed my own procedure by seeking advice elsewhere and involved her as little as possible.

Thing with workplace bullies is that they are clever or they think they are. Usually mates with the boss. Best thing to do is call her out on her actions or do unto her what she does to you, if she comes to you to talk to you simply turn your back and walk in opposite direction and keep doing it. She will only keep getting away with it as long as you allow it, show her you have zero time or tolerance for her and her silly little game. But if it is affecting you mentally silently look for a new job because no job on this earth should make you so unhappy, you know your own worth.

Hi, this is an old thread but I am curious how the original poster handled/solved the problem. My workplace bully issue is similar. Fairly new at a wonderful job and by all accounts am doing well. I put in 100% effort, work hard and receive compliments from customers. Yet a coworker has decided to nit-pick my every action, blow up mistakes to ridiculous extremes, and, most importantly, publicly criticize me which is humiliating. I feel horrible--unable to sleep or take my mind off this very mean and spiteful person. How can I deal with this in a manner that doesn't make me look weak or troublesome? Sadly, I do not yet have any real close friends here, though a couple of my peers have been super nice to work with thus far.

@Islandgypsy following this post to and wondered how it panned out for OP.Just read yours and it's very similar to my story.
Completely humiliated recently at work by a female boss in front of everyone. It really didn't warrant the roasting I got but I think she was using the opportunity to show her authority and big herself up to another new colleague in the office. I challenged her (which she didn't like) but I felt so angry 😠 and hurt! I'm a mug!! I work hard, always on time, never take sick days, too nice for my own good. My OM was brilliant, supportive and understood how I felt. She asked if I wanted to report it to another the senior manager but at the time I said "no" because both bosses are so tight. It's not her first time talking down to me and belittling me.
On reflection I think I should still say something but unsure if it will help as I like my job and dont want to burn bridges. Fast forward a week! She (the bitch) came to me again about something else and omg what a difference. Spoke to me like a normal human being, like nothing had happened. Wtf Weird!! Me thinks someone's already had a word! I'm not going to bend over anymore to be nice to her or give her air time but I will remain professional! I'm not a C**t!!

@Islandgypsy Document, Document, Document including witnesses.

Never react back and when you have enough, speak to your manager with your evidence. Also, hard as it try and keep your own counsel, as in don't engage in gossip about your bully. Be Polly-Anna.

My approach was to call the bully out very clearly and very loudly in front of other people and then go on to prove that she spent more time looking through the staff handbook trying to get me on a disciplinary than doing her job. I repeatedly pointed out when she'd failed to do something I had to ask her to do. It was very satisfying explaining to her line manager that I had in fact done my part and she hadn't done hers when asked questioned why this particular thing wasn't happening.

Everyone thought I was the bad one because I refused to play her games and she got a lot of people on her side by playing the victim, I lost some good work colleague friends because of her but I was finally proved right when things went to shit because she wasn't doing her job properly!!

Not going to lie, it was hugely satisfying to be proved right! And those colleagues who had the wool pulled over their eyes tried to apologise but I told them they had made their choice even though they had known me longer so I was done with them too. If I had to deal with those people, it purely work focused, polite and to the point, nothing more.

Looking back, she was a nasty piece of work who always had to be the centre of attention and I knew she was a sneaky cow from the moment I met her. She just really tried to push me out because I didn't fall for the crap like others did.

Wow, very inspiring--thank you! Funny how she turned, as if nothing happened. Yes, it does seem that many times these people know that you are on to them and aren't falling for their gig and that is what bothers them... if I had to guess. I will document, and just keep going I guess and try to stay calm and poised.