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to feel left out on the playground?

15 replies

loler · 17/12/2007 12:48

I walk to school with a neighbour both our dc are in reception together. I thought we were friends but found out when dropping off this morning that the majority of the mums from the reception class were going out for lunch together today. Neighbour didn't mention it on the way there or back, I wasn't invited only overheard them talking about arrangements. The class is very small and I assume that I wasn't included as I'm the only one with other younger dc.

I know I am being silly and couldn't go anyway as I have proper friends I had already arranged to see but still....

OP posts:

chocolatespiders · 17/12/2007 12:53

i would have thought it would be nice to invite you...

this is why i steer clear of mums at school. some of them get there 20mins before school closes to stand and chat, what is all that about i get there 1 minute past so my dd walks out and off we go...

dont let it get to you there loss not yours


lisalisa · 17/12/2007 12:53

Message withdrawn


mustsleep · 17/12/2007 12:54

do exactly the same chocolatespiders, hate the cliquyness in the playground


potoftea · 17/12/2007 12:56

Of course it hurts to be left out of something, and I would be really upset if it were me.
But it probably is an oversight - maybe they just arranged it among themselves as they were all standing around chatting one day, and didn't think of asking anyone else.


loler · 17/12/2007 12:56

I really hated the playground politics thing to begin with but thought I had got over it. I really is as bad (if not worse) as actually going to school! - oh well only another 11 years of primary school picking up and dropping off

OP posts:

mustsleep · 17/12/2007 13:00

i was at my ds's brithday party the other day and one of the dads was talking about another party that was happening the week afetr and trying to explian who the mum was that was holding it to someone else and he was saying stuff like she's really miserable never talks to anyone and stands away from everyone else (she's new)

i was like ffs you never talk to me and wouldn;t approach anyone outside of your little cliquey group and i'm not that bothered anymore but i think that saying someone is miserabe becuase she doesnlt go and talk to a big group that she doesn;t know is a bit rich - it's quite intimidating and hard for those of us who are shy!! - he was basically calling me miserable and i'm anything but!!

just let it flow over your head it's not your fault they are ignorant!!


LittleSusiesMum · 17/12/2007 13:01

no what you mean loler. it is the same at my DD school. do as choclatespiders does -i do anyway. hate cliquey mums


contentiouscat · 17/12/2007 13:05

Yeah im a rush & grab person too, I have plenty of mums I chat idly to but I really dont have the time or the energy needed to bust into any of the cliques. Sometimes it does feel like being back at school...sporty clique...rebel clique...prefect/alpha clique and ive never been sure which clique I should belong to anyway.

Its funny if I see someone stands on their own I always make the effort to talk to them but the alpha mums just seem to be oblivious dont they.

If you get on with them it may be that they said "chocolatespiders wont be able to come because she has jr with her", I would do what lisalisa said and lets face it if they still dont want you to go they are not worth wasting the effort on anyway - best to know and get to know someone nicer.


chocolatespiders · 17/12/2007 13:28

i sound horrid i am not- i do chat if the moment arises ..... most of the parents seem to know each other from pre school but my dd didnt go...


mustsleep · 17/12/2007 14:01

that's the same situation i was in the mums from the daycare nurserys or afternoon sessions all seemed to be in ds's class and the parents i used to chat with were in the other class

never mind they'll be taking themselves to school soon enough


dragonstitcher · 17/12/2007 14:03

This has happened to me too. I was very hurt but then put it into the perspective that I didn't want to go out with them anyway.

I keep my distance from playground mums now.


loler · 17/12/2007 14:35

Thanks - MN does it again and makes me feel so much better and I'm really not a billy no mates! I really wouldn't have wanted to go with them but it's always nice to feel popular!

I'm in the chasing toddlers stopping them jumping in puddles clique and must admit that I'm normally spaced out in the mornings and vague in the afternoons so probably don't come over as being the life and soul.

Well off to speak to my real (non school) friends - thanks again

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 17/12/2007 14:37

Usually you get out what you put in.

I felt like spare part in playground for terms 1 and 2 of Year R, but it got much better as I started to make an obvious effort / ingratiated myself via dd's play dates / arranged class nights out and joined the PTA

Now in term 1 of Year 1 and feel like I properly belong

Depends whether or not this is important to you I guess...


handlemecarefully · 17/12/2007 14:40

And I am not aware of any cliques at my school. Tbh, sorry to be brutally honest but cliques are sometimes a bit of a figment of the imagination amongst the shy / more introverted people (and I don't mean that unpleasantly - I have a natural inclination to being introverted and shy but have forced myself to get out gets easier)


MerryAnnSinglemas · 17/12/2007 14:44

agree with handlemecarefully - it took me a long time to find my niche ( it didn't help that I'd been standing at the wrong gate to a year and a bit) but I joined the PTA and helped with class reading etc and people got to know me - it did require some effort and I'm not in the least bit pushy and am quite shy, but I made a conscious effort. I do quite look foreard to having a chat especially as I have made 2 very good friends there and the chatting bit is also nice for me as I work from home and sometimes don't get to talk to anyone until ds comes home from school. Fortunately there aren't any obvious cliques but people do seem to keep to their familiar groups

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