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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting somebody the sack HCA

26 replies

helppls123 · 02/12/2021 23:35

Hello

My goddaughter is currently in a psychiatric hospital, not under section but voluntarily.

She has lied and said a member of staff (HCA) kissed her and told a friend there who told her partner and her partner reported this.

She admits there were Facebook messages between them but only a hello and how are you which she initiated. Although this is obviously wrong as he is in a position of trust.

He has been asked to leave and she has admitted to her mum she lied about the kiss for attention (she has a history of lying about serious things).

Police are going to question her tomorrow to take a statement. Her Mum is worried about the consequences of this and I can't find much online.

I said I'd post here for advice and see what people say.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

Helpstopthepain · 02/12/2021 23:38

He will be suspended under investigation. Possibly moved wards to all male if possible.

She is unlikely to get any come back.

Veeveeoxox · 02/12/2021 23:41

I'm a HCA and a student nurse in the same environment. We are told on the DAY ONE of training that contact with patients on social media is breaking professional boundaries this is a vulnerable woman and he's abused his position it doesn't matter whether he did or didn't kiss her. He never should messaged her he should have his social media on private and blocked her then reported it to the managers. IMO he deserves to get sacked .

jacks11 · 02/12/2021 23:43

Your grand daughter needs to be honest about what happened, if she won’t then your daughter should- for both her benefit (in the long run) and because destroying someone’s livelihood- and if police are involved potentially involving a criminal prosecution, which could be life altering (e.g. potentially ending up on sex offenders register)- based on a lie is a despicable thing to do or to allow to happen.

If your granddaughter “gets away” with this, she might do it again. Or something even more serious. That is not good for her, it could lead to serious repercussions for both the person she accuses and herself if it can be shown she is lying maliciously.

jacks11 · 02/12/2021 23:46

Though do agree this HCA should have simply ignored/blocked her messages. He should have known better and was wrong. But there is a BIG difference between stupidly replying to messages and kissing a vulnerable patient. Obviously I don’t know time/content of reply- so if flirtatious etc then clearly more serious than “fine, thanks” reply to your granddaughter’s message.

Ikeatears · 03/12/2021 00:13

He should have ignored all messages and reported them immediately. He left himself wide open to any disciplinary action that comes his way.

Strawberry33 · 03/12/2021 20:57

Honestly massively harsh to allow him to be sacked. She won’t face any consequences so the decent thing is to come clean. They may fire him for answering the message but at least then it’s based on truth. Please don’t allow it

HunterGatherer · 03/12/2021 21:15

FGS, do the decent thing and contact the unit yourself if her family won't tell the truth. You can't collude in a lie.
This is horrible and the consequences for her will be worse if she lies to the police.

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 03/12/2021 21:19

@HunterGatherer

FGS, do the decent thing and contact the unit yourself if her family won't tell the truth. You can't collude in a lie. This is horrible and the consequences for her will be worse if she lies to the police.

I agree. HCA was wrong to reply to messages, but not at the level of needing to be sacked, it should just be a lesson for him. But he shouldn't get into trouble for something he has not done.

user1471462428 · 03/12/2021 21:20

Whilst he was stupid and naive you cannot let him get sacked over this. The messages will be a disciplinary but the kiss will gross misconduct and his career over.

IncompleteSenten · 03/12/2021 21:21

She needs to tell the truth.
She cannot ruin this man's career over her attention seeking lies.

GreenClock · 03/12/2021 21:25

If they discipline him for the social media, fair enough.

If they discipline him for the kiss then this woman should feel ashamed of herself.

It’s unfair that you’re expected to collude in this OP. You’re in a tough position not of your making.

Beachgirl33 · 04/12/2021 00:09

Psychiatric Hospital Manager here. She should be encouraged to tell the truth. There will be no consequences for her as a patient but the impact on him if she doesn’t is very serious. His decision to enter into comms with her on fb was inappropriate and it is likely he will be disciplined for this. All trusts have social media policies for staff so no excuse for this one. However he could lose his job and potentially be charged by the police depending what she has actually claimed has happened. This is v v serious. She needs to withdraw her allegation or if she doesn’t feel strong enough you or her mum need to tell the hospital that this was made up.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 04/12/2021 00:36

Absolutely disgusting. You or someone else needs to tell the truth. A man is losing his livelihood due to this manipulative liar. Shame on her.

Booklover3 · 04/12/2021 00:54

Someone needs to tell the truth. ASAP

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 04/12/2021 01:15

He's only in trouble with the Trust and his job, if he actually REPLIED to her on Facebook. I'm going to go back and reread the OP but it doesn't sound to me like he did ?? @helppls123 in which case the hospital needs to know now so a blameless person doesn't lose their job.

Original poster

helppls123 · 04/12/2021 01:20

Hello everyone

She has told the hospital that it was a lie, I was asking on behalf of her Mum what the consequences would be for her if she told the police she had lied about the kiss.

Just to be clear, he did message her on social media, the hospital have seen these. Her Mother and I were both prepared to call the hospital ourselves today if she didn't admit her lie, she has done this.

Thank you

OP posts:

LemonSwan · 04/12/2021 01:21

Sounds a bit suss with the facebook messages. Thats easily provable or disprovable.

RE. the kiss - well who knows. She could have been lying, or she could be lying now about lying then. She cant be trusted unfortunately so all that leaves is the fbook messages.

Sometimeswinning · 04/12/2021 01:32

Of course he should lose his job! How many other vulnerable women has he friended on social media??

EmeraldShamrock · 04/12/2021 01:54

As a HCA he should not have responded to any contact from a patient.
He should be investigated for his bad judgement and lack of critical thinking.

EmeraldShamrock · 04/12/2021 01:57

A man is losing his livelihood due to this manipulative liar. Shame on her.
Wow she is an impatient at a psychiatric ward, mentally ill people look for attention and often create stories.
It's not from a place of manipulation.
She is a vulnerable young woman.

Batshaver · 04/12/2021 02:12

Well I for one am delighted that you're on this forum for women bringing to our attention the devastation that crazy ladies can visit on blameless men with their wicked lying ways in this stacked world.

DontBeCatty · 04/12/2021 09:03

What did the messages actually say?

IncompleteSenten · 04/12/2021 09:38

He should be disciplined for what he has done. Not for what he has not done.

TalkToTheHand123 · 04/12/2021 09:47

Probably a few months in jail.

IAmHereForTheFood · 04/12/2021 09:52

@user1471462428

Whilst he was stupid and naive you cannot let him get sacked over this. The messages will be a disciplinary but the kiss will gross misconduct and his career over.

^Contact them yourself and tell the truth fgs!

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