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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little frustrated we have to wear masks whilst the families don’t

71 replies

Cinammonroll123 · 02/12/2021 15:08

In a part time home care job I have.

Often when I go into the homes, families are there and they never wear masks etc with their elderly or vulnerable relatives.
However we have to, I walked into a house the other day and the client’s entire family was there, not one of them had a mask yet I am expected to, I know this as we’ve had families report other carers who didn’t wear PPE.

It’s not a big deal in ltself wearing one for work, it’s just a bit annoying how they are so quick to go on about protecting their relatives yet wear nothing themselves

OP posts:
Sceptre86 · 02/12/2021 16:24

I wore a mask when my midwife came after I had my dd and when my hv comes. It's too cold at the moment to have the window open fully when they come for the baby but I can at least wear a mask and keep the number of people in the room to a minimum so I make the appointments for when my older two are in school.

The family members will be going to work, picking up kids from schools, going to each others homes so they do pose a risk to the op. If they had any respect for the op they wouldn't all be piled round or in the room when the op comes to do his or her job.

Hamster1111 · 02/12/2021 16:26

I read the OP as her being concerned for the wellbeing of her client, not herself? In which case I dont see why the family should wear one to visit their relative if they are all comfortable with not wearing one on a social visit. If the OP is worried about herself, then she could ask others to wear one in her presence.

Saz12 · 02/12/2021 16:27

It’s just basic courtesy to wear a mask when someone’s coming in to do a job, and has to wear one themselves. If you can then you should!

IMO it’s pretty foolhardy to visit very vulnerable people without wearing a mask, being vaccinated, and taking LFT first, whether your visiting as a friend, family member, carer or anyone else. I hope that those complaining about carers are themselves wearing PPE.

Some people who receive care are perfectly able to wear a mask, in which case they should do so when carer is there - even though it’s in their own home. It protects all the people the carer visits, as well as the carer.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 02/12/2021 16:28

@Steelesauce

You're there in a professional capacity, going from home to home of patients. Their family are going to see mum/nan/auntie etc. I don't wear a mask to see my Mum. You'd be potentially passing covid to multiple vulnerable people without ppe.
So if you pass on covid to the carer you'd also be potentially passing it on to multiple vulnerable people, via the carer. Can you honestly not see the irony in your post?
Chloemol · 02/12/2021 16:37

@Cinammonroll123

The relatives don’t live there for the most part no

As I said I don’t mind wearing one, it’s the hypocrisy of the families

I really dont think there is any hypocrisy

As family they will that that person probably day in/day out, they possibly would wear masks in other settings, ie shopping etc but not in the house itself, why would they! No doubt they are being careful about mixing

You in the other hand will be mixing with lots of different people

Maverickess · 02/12/2021 16:38

@Hamster1111

I read the OP as her being concerned for the wellbeing of her client, not herself? In which case I dont see why the family should wear one to visit their relative if they are all comfortable with not wearing one on a social visit. If the OP is worried about herself, then she could ask others to wear one in her presence.
But as pointed out upthread, the carer is not just visiting that client but others too, and infected in one household stands to pass it on to the next one's. It's not just common courtesy, it's common sense.
BillDates · 02/12/2021 16:40

@Steelesauce

You're there in a professional capacity, going from home to home of patients. Their family are going to see mum/nan/auntie etc. I don't wear a mask to see my Mum. You'd be potentially passing covid to multiple vulnerable people without ppe.
My sister does wear a wear mask to see out mum because guess what, our mum is vulnerable too and it's because she's had to be around her clients extended families who don't wear masks or even bother to keep any distance half the time it's the very reason she does wear a mask when visiting and giving care to our Mum.

We keep being told that the mask is to protect others and not yourself, maybe visiting family members could show the same respect to the people caring for their loved ones and protect them too?

Toasty280 · 02/12/2021 16:43

@Electricdreams22

Carers who weren’t double vaccinated by 11th November will have had their employment terminated by now
You don't have a clue what your talking about, that is for residential settings only, for people who live in their own homes it doesn't apply and won't till later next year.
NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 02/12/2021 16:46

@WorriedGiraffe

I do think they should wear them. But you are employed to take care of these people, and wearing PPE is part of that. So it’s irrelevant what other people do really, they arnt employed there and it’s none of your business.
Of course it's her business, they're not protecting her!

Common courtesy should be enough to make them wear one when a career is there, even if they're too stupid to wear one for their relatives benefit.

CarrotSticks19 · 02/12/2021 16:48

The OP isn't concerned about her welfare or her clients, she's talking about being frustrated she has to wear a mask! Her whole post is about basically her having to wear a mask, and not about protecting her clients.

Its not really hypocrisy. Your work tells you you need to wear a mask, which is fair enough in a caring capacity. Your work has no say over what the families do

They are family, visiting a relative in their own home. What they do when they are there is really none of your business and has no bearing on whether you need to wear a mask or not. It's nothing to do with you, it maybe foolhardy but it has no bearing on what your work asks of you.

If you want them to wear a mask while you are in the home, then I think that would be fair to ask. But you can't complain that you need to wear a mask when they dont

seb342 · 02/12/2021 16:50

I've seen so many people saying carers have a moral duty to be double vaccinated because of their patients but it seems that moral duty doesn't stretch both ways.

I'd be extremely frustrated if I was you OP.

EvilPea · 02/12/2021 16:56

I can see your point. It’s just courtesy and respect for you to wear one.

LostForIdeas · 02/12/2021 17:03

@Skyll

They’re family. You’re not. You’re in contact with many vulnerable people they’re in contact with just their vulnerable family member.

Just wear the Ppe.

Is that the line that if you know people then you don’t need to wear a mask because it’s not as dangerous? Grin I seem to remember some MP (or was it a minister? ) insisting such bollocks was right….

@Cinammonroll123, I get why the double standards is annoying you.
I also get why the rules are that you have to wear a mask. It IS a good idea to protect the people you re helping, especially as you will be in close contact with them (whereas family members might not - hopefully - be that close).

But I think the bottom line is that we need to wonder if we shouldn’t ALL be wearing masks when seeing relatives like this. Or at least have windows open, an air filter etc etc….

Maverickess · 02/12/2021 17:05

@seb342

I've seen so many people saying carers have a moral duty to be double vaccinated because of their patients but it seems that moral duty doesn't stretch both ways.

I'd be extremely frustrated if I was you OP.

Yes, exactly.

I'm frustrated by it too, by people insisting that they have no obligation or responsibility to protect their own family member or the carers that visit and by extension other vulnerable people they visit, yet demand that others must meet whatever obligations they decide are suitable to protect their family member.
Still, the carers will be the easy ones to blame if a loved one gets covid won't they? Despite the double vaccination, boosters and PPE........

LostForIdeas · 02/12/2021 17:05

@CarrotSticks19 yes but the issue here is the double standard.

It’s saying that a carer can be a danger to the person.
But somehow family can’t bring the virus to that vulnerable person.

It just doesn’t make sense. And I can see why it’s frustrating tbh.

Purplepeopleeaterz · 02/12/2021 17:28

Exactly what Maverickess said. Why would you not want to protect the carer coming in thus protecting others that she visits?

CarrotSticks19 · 02/12/2021 17:49

@lostforIdeas but who's inflicting the double standard? No one.

Of course the family can be a risk to their relative, but that decision is theirs and their relatives and has nothing to do with OP. It's the right of the client to decide if they want to take that risk in their own home, and OP has no right to take that away from them.

Op has to wear PPE as instructed by her employer, her employer is not making any rules for the family. There's no double standard.

CarrotSticks19 · 02/12/2021 17:52

People have the right to make perhaps foolhardy decisions about their own health in their own home. That is an absolute right, whether you think the decision they are making is sensible or not is irrelevant

Knickynackynoo · 02/12/2021 17:54

Oh flaming grow up or get another job. Beyond pathetic, people in health care/caring roles have been wearing masks forever and now it's suddenly a problem. Get another job if you don't like it!

LuckySantangelo35 · 02/12/2021 17:59

It should work both ways, OP is wearing PPE to protect the patient and their relatives, if possible they should wear one to protect her and her health.

EvilPea · 02/12/2021 18:01

@Knickynackynoo

Oh flaming grow up or get another job. Beyond pathetic, people in health care/caring roles have been wearing masks forever and now it's suddenly a problem. Get another job if you don't like it!
I think you’ve misread it.

It’s that the family aren’t wearing a mask. So she’s expected to wear it (which she’s happy to) but the other people in the house aren’t wearing one to protect her

seb342 · 02/12/2021 18:01

@Knickynackynoo have they been wearing masks forever? My mother is a carer and has never needed to wear a mask in her line of work.

If they go and get another job who's going to suffer? The clients and patients they deal with will and the family will have to step up to the plate and do their bit.

This attitude towards the care sector stinks. You were all out clapping for them and virtue signalling back in 2020 now it's if you don't like it leave. No wonder the sector is severely understaffed.

LostForIdeas · 02/12/2021 18:02

@Knickynackynoo

Oh flaming grow up or get another job. Beyond pathetic, people in health care/caring roles have been wearing masks forever and now it's suddenly a problem. Get another job if you don't like it!
That sounds like an excellent idea.

The person she is caring from will be able to rely on all those relatives to do the caring instead. Because let’s be honest, finding someone to come and do the caring is about like gold dust atm….

All the while the OP might be able to let’s say work in a shop where everyone has to wear a mask and isn’t put at as much risk by others.

Sounds like a win win to me.

EvilPea · 02/12/2021 18:03

Surely your work have a duty of care to protect you @Cinammonroll123
Could they not ask people to? Some wont, but it may catch the ones who just haven’t thouvht

UnmentionedElephantDildo · 02/12/2021 18:20

The mask is needed for those who go between vulnerable clients, maybe several people in one day.

One family as a unit is a different matter, as those visiting family members won't then be going on to the other clients