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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Three 'beauty' advent calendars for a grown woman?

274 replies

royco · 02/12/2021 08:34

I've just seen someone posting that she's got three beauty advent calendars to open this year.

When did this become a thing? Surely it's wasteful, expensive and completely unnecessary?

Call me Scrooge Blush

OP posts:
endlesswinter · 02/12/2021 14:31

My MIL often gifts me the M&S one.
I really enjoy the experience and have picked up several new items I regularly use.

It isn't the greenest thing ever but it is far down the list of ungreen things that I do. The personal happiness gained in very busy month is quite high though.
A little micro dose of festive cheer.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 02/12/2021 14:39

All mine are cardboard, the mini wine Aldi one is great, it’s like a little cardboard wine rack.

Goatinthegarden · 02/12/2021 14:43

@Beowulfa There is a sensible middle ground to be found between current consumption and living like a mediaeval hermit, but I don't think products like this help people locate it.

This sentence sums it up perfectly.

There are dozens of threads asking what they can buy for people they have no idea what to buy. If you don’t know and that person doesn’t know, then why not wait until they do want something?

There’s a thread trending about what to buy for someone that you hate and people are just suggesting to buy something that they won’t actually want. What a waste of resources.

We seem to just want more and more stuff all the time. I get it, I get sucked in too, but when you dare to question it, people just get defensive about the importance of their joy and happiness. We need to try a bit harder if we want the state of the planet to improve.

DrSbaitso · 02/12/2021 14:45

@Pipsandseeds

I agree I think it should be part of a larger conversation around waste. Tbh I think wrapping paper is probably the least of it - gas-guzzling cars, long-haul flights, fast fashion, the latest tech - all completely unsustainable. It's a whole culture that has to change and these calendars are one small part of it, but to me they seem to be a sign that we are still going in the wrong direction.
Wrapping paper is definitely a bigger issue than advert calendars. It's used much more widely and lots of people aren't aware how many types are not recyclable. Or that they, and sellotape, contaminate the types that are.

The problem with threads like this is that they draw all the focus of waste and excess, which which all do to some extent at Christmas, on to one practice that is very rarely a serious issue on its own and is usually something relatively affordable, accessible and probably not considered to be in the greatest taste. (Yes, I think there's a massive class snobbery thing going on with these threads.)

Then everyone who doesn't do it can say how superior they are and how they don't need to make any changes to how they do Christmas because they have the balance right already.

Then people who do do it feel judged and attacked (because they are) and come back with all the things they do that offset this non-issue and how they don't need to change either.

Very often, there's an additional insult; they're also vain, shallow, whatever.

Result: everyone's got the perfect or best possible balance already and doesn't need to change, or at least doesn't need to change before anyone else does.

We could ALL change, so there's really no reason to single the people who do X Minor Thing out as the worst consumers and materialists, except for performative superiority. It's pointless, divisive, combative, deflective and self-serving.

And it detracts from much more pressing environmental issues and ways we should be changing.

The planet is not burning because a minority of women buy makeup at Christmas.

What would be better is to look at it all as part of a wider issue, as you say, and try to come up with positive and inclusive suggestions. I think people will generally respond better to "try these alternatives to wrapping paper or lights being on for a month" than "Who agrees with me that anyone who spends £30 or whatever on X once a year is ridiculous and wasteful and vain and a brainless consumerist and deserves to be singled out for destroying the planet???"

WouldBeGood · 02/12/2021 14:48

Ooh sound nice @SocksAndTheCity! The one DP got me (extremely unexpectedly!) is the Liberty one. It’s just gorgeous, a lovely decoration in itself, and I love trying the products too.

AprilLady · 02/12/2021 15:07

I strongly suspect this thread is aimed at me Blush, so I’ll explain myself below.

I love having and using a wide variety of beauty products. I am in a fortunate position of being able to afford it (funded entirely by my own earnings, and while not depriving my family of anything they want or need). I do regard it as an enjoyable hobby, and love the discussions on Mumsnet with other like-minded people. I am under no illusions about the beauty industry; I don’t believe their claims about miracle products and am not on some quest to look endlessly young or perfect. I do want to look the best version of me I can though (without any surgical interventions or tweakments) because that brings me pleasure and confidence. So I use make up and various lotions and potions.

We all have our personal compromises when it comes to the environment. Through choice, I don’t own a car and I use public transport as much as possible. I think the positive impact on the environment from this may well outweigh the extra burden I place on it with my three beauty advent calendars.

CSJobseeker · 02/12/2021 15:07

It's not that we don't need to make changes for the planet. Of course we do. But really, this is the issue that should be the focus?

I agree that this shouldn't be THE focus, but our attitude to consumption has to be a focus, and Christmas is a time when society's focus on consumption increases significantly, so it all becomes more visible.

Talking about how this particular packaging is made of cardboard not plastic, and that particular packaging is recyclable is missing the point. We need to reduce what we consume full stop, because reduction will achieve far more than recycling (and a large chunk of our recycling is shipped abroad and stuck in landfill anyway).

That means buying and owning less stuff, eating less and more local food (which means a lot of root veg in the UK winter), replacing things less often, repairing, making things last. It also means turning the heating down, walking/cycling rather than driving etc.

The reality of what we need to do is far less cool than having a funky reusable coffee cup, and is going to make people pretty uncomfortable.

Right now the mindset is "If you can afford it, why not?" That is going to have to change, and it will have more impact on the people who can afford the stuff that on those that never could in the first place. Wealthier people around the world consume more than poorer people, despite the fact that quite a lot of the above is easier to do the more money you have (e.g. quality furniture that lasts forever requires a bigger initial investment than cheap flat pack that needs replacing in a few years).

CSJobseeker · 02/12/2021 15:09

It's a whole culture that has to change and these calendars are one small part of it, but to me they seem to be a sign that we are still going in the wrong direction.

Yep, that's the sum of it. This is a symptom, not the underlying issue, but it shows we are definitely not moving in the right direction.

Shallwegoforawalk · 02/12/2021 15:22

@wavingwhilstdrowning

Things traditionally for women - beauty, bags, nails etc are all ridiculed as unnecessary and flippant and a waste. It is misogyny. It's no more of a waste that items men buy. I remember once my dad ridiculing DM's silly 'lotions and potions' whilst carefully organising his hundreds of mad expensive fishing lures and floats. Even at 10 the hypocrisy wasn't lost on me.
I agree.

So much misogyny over women having something nice that makes them feel good. Why? Especially when it's usually the women organising everything else to do with the Christmas season for the family/everyone around them.

I agree the packaging can be wasteful though. Just give me a huge box of Lindt chocs and I'll be happy through December.

AprilLady · 02/12/2021 16:58

Great post @DrSbaitso, I agree that there are much more constructive debates we can have about further modifications we can all make to reduce our environmental impact.

Liverbird77 · 02/12/2021 17:03

@AprilLady enjoy your calendars and have a very merry Christmas!

clary · 02/12/2021 17:42

@AprilLady

I strongly suspect this thread is aimed at me Blush, so I’ll explain myself below.

I love having and using a wide variety of beauty products. I am in a fortunate position of being able to afford it (funded entirely by my own earnings, and while not depriving my family of anything they want or need). I do regard it as an enjoyable hobby, and love the discussions on Mumsnet with other like-minded people. I am under no illusions about the beauty industry; I don’t believe their claims about miracle products and am not on some quest to look endlessly young or perfect. I do want to look the best version of me I can though (without any surgical interventions or tweakments) because that brings me pleasure and confidence. So I use make up and various lotions and potions.

We all have our personal compromises when it comes to the environment. Through choice, I don’t own a car and I use public transport as much as possible. I think the positive impact on the environment from this may well outweigh the extra burden I place on it with my three beauty advent calendars.

@AprilLady you said it.

I love the discussion on MN as well. No, a £100 pot of cream is not going to make me look 25 again, but if it comes in an Advent Calendar at £200 (which I can also afford, without anyone in my family suffering) then I love that I have the chance to try it and see if I now look, well...48 at most Grin

fedup65356 · 02/12/2021 17:55

OP @royco must be thrilled at the shit storm they've purposely caused.

PerditaNitt · 02/12/2021 18:42

@fedup65356 it’s an AIBU thread, so shitstorms are par for the course! Only the brave start at AIBU thread Smile.

Interesting to see the thread focus on environmental waste - I feel the issue is more consumerism and frustration that there are so many new and exciting ways to tempt us to part from our cash. I don’t think the calendars are any different from beauty box subscriptions, etc, in terms of waste but because advent calendars are typically associated with children or religion (with advent candles, etc) it feels incongruous compared to Christmas celebrations 20-30 years ago.

I saw that loccitane launched a Ramadan one this year, which was a first! The marketing departments continue to work hard to find new ways to keep us spending.

royco · 02/12/2021 19:38

Is it classed as a shit storm at only 200 odd posts?

OP posts:
doadeer · 02/12/2021 19:42

Wasteful is subjective. Maybe you spend loads on curtains or holidays or your garden. Who's to say what others should spend on?!

I always get one in Dec and one in Jan for my birthday. I adore skincare and it gives me great pleasure to try new things.

That's my choice 🤷‍♀️

doadeer · 02/12/2021 19:49

@AprilLady

I'm with you!

I have a chronic pain condition which is miserable, daily pain is horrendous. My son has additional needs. I have a lot of stress. My evening skincare routine is a beautiful haven for me. I then listen to meditations and start a wind down as I sleep so poorly.

If you wash your face with a bar of soap that's up to you. But for me skincare is selfcare and it gives me pleasure.

UnitedRoad · 02/12/2021 20:01

@50ShadesOfCatholic

I was just googling these, had never heard of them until today. They look amazing! But wow at spending so much on an advent calendar, we used to have to take turns to get a piece of chocolate lol
Three of us took turns to open the door in picture advent calendars. My big brother insisted we should open the doors in age order - youngest first. I only realised as an adult that it meant he got to open the double doors in Christmas Eve.

Nah I’m not bitter…

Hadjab · 02/12/2021 20:05

I buy myself one, because since my husband died, I get to open a stocking on Christmas morning - yes, I am a big kid! I use all of the products, because I'm obsessed with skincare, so nothing goes to waste.

Hadjab · 02/12/2021 20:26

the Revolution one from Superdrug, which I opened in one go

@SapphireSeptember sacrilege!

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 02/12/2021 20:31

I bought myself one as a treat this year. It has been a crap year and it is a pick me up.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 02/12/2021 21:10

@UnitedRoad

You're right! It was a picture not a chocolate. Chocolate would have been.next level excitement 😂

The calendars were so pretty. Honestly we adored them, we'd cluster around in the morning and breathlessly watch whoever was lucky enough to open the window that morning, then take turns to look at it up close.

CrocodilesCry · 02/12/2021 21:15

I have three and I love them, it's lovely to open a treat each morning.

I have the M&S one that DM buys me every year, one that DP makes for me with 24 cardboard boxes (he's outdone himself this year, he's been buying Clinique, retinol creams and all sorts to put in each box - it's usually full of drumstick lollies, roll on deodorants, tinned fish and whatever else small he can find to fit Grin) plus a stationery one he spotted on Amazon.

SapphireSeptember · 02/12/2021 21:24

@Hadjab

Grin I know, I know, 'twas very naughty of me! It was the only make-up thing I bought that month, so I couldn't resist opening it in one go. Grin
It was this one.

This is the one I'm opening properly. I couldn't decide which one I liked the most, so got both, although I got the pink one first and stashed it,

Jibberjabberhutt · 02/12/2021 21:32

Leave her be. I know you want us all to pile on, but I will not. Maybe they make her happy and excited? Maybe she’s had a tough time? Maybe she just wanted them? Maybe she was given them by people who know her well? Why does it matter so much to you?

I can’t begrudge people nice things in the shit climate in which we’re living.

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