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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell you my experience of a mother and baby unit?

24 replies

Aisforharlot · 02/12/2021 07:03

Dd is now 11 days old.
I have a history of severe anxiety and made sure I was under the perinatal mental health team for this pregnancy, even though I felt well throughout.

The day we came home from hospital after a 2 night stay, my anxiety hit me really hard - I was properly unwell with it - panic attacks every 2 mins in waves, barely able to function.
I asked to be admitted and a weekend later here I am, as an informal admission for a short term stay.

Staff have all been super, and I have the support I need from he nursery nurse to tackle my anxiety around caring for Dd.
Still here for a few more days.
I just wanted to post this to reassure anyone going through similar - you will get through this, you will come out the other side and thrive again.

OP posts:

EishetChayil · 02/12/2021 07:05

So glad to hear you're getting the help you need and deserve. ((Hugs))

Flamingolingo · 02/12/2021 07:07

Well done OP, it’s not an easy step to make. There was a programme several years ago now about the unit in Winchester, with Dr Alain Gregoire. I found it to be compelling and sensitive, and the unit looked bright and pleasant.

I hope you manage to stabilise, being a mum is hard!

Offmyfence · 02/12/2021 07:08

That's so positive, good for you. Hope you're feeling less anxious soon.

Emelene · 02/12/2021 07:09

I work in a mother and baby unit at the moment. So glad you’ve had a positive experience and I hope your recovery continue to go well.

DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 07:10

Jolly well done for seeking help and for posting this - very thoughtful and useful as there are often people in your position on here.

Original poster

Aisforharlot · 02/12/2021 07:10

Thanks!
I've got a new med which has calmed the anxiety more than I could have hoped - I have things to look forward to and I feel cheerful again.

I felt a tremendous amount of shame initially being here, but I wouldn't try to ignore a physical ailment so why should this be different?

OP posts:

MartyHart · 02/12/2021 07:16

Nice to hear some good news for a change op! I'm really pleased for you. I wish you all the best and thank you for sharing your experience.

Littleants · 02/12/2021 07:28

Well done. I was ill but because the mother and baby unit was so far away, I was just locked up in the local loony bin by myself with visits from my baby.

Original poster

Aisforharlot · 02/12/2021 07:41

I'm sorry Littleants, that sounds shit :(

OP posts:

Sleeplessem · 02/12/2021 07:53

Wow you’re amazing OP! Wish I had your courage after my first pregnancy! I’ve just recently delivered my second child and I’ve felt incredibly anxious, I’ve got a cold and I’m really worried that could kill or really make my baby ill and I’ve been fretting for 2 days straight about nappy output and baby not getting enough milk.

I didn’t even know you could request to stay? I was worried that social services would be involved and I’d lose my kids. How did you go about referring yourself?

sunnyandshare · 02/12/2021 08:13

So glad you are getting the help you need OP. Motherhood can be so overwhelming, be kind to yourself

Original poster

Aisforharlot · 02/12/2021 08:58

@Sleeplessem
So I knew they existed, and I was already under the perinatal mental health team, so I requested an emergency appt with the psychiatrist on the team and asked (cried).
If I were you I'd ask to be contacted urgently by the perinatal mh team in your Trust, they might send out the crisis team, say you want to be considered for admission.

OP posts:

Fleshmechanic · 02/12/2021 09:01

Amazing job getting support, you 100% should not be ashamed in any way. As you say, it's no different to physical health. You're going to be OK and are already a great parent ❤.

lotsofdogshere · 02/12/2021 09:06

Thanks for posting, so good to see you got the help you asked for. I’ve been fortunate and not needed mother and baby unit but my working life meant I had a lot of contact with different units. I never had a visit I came away from worried the mums and babies weren’t in safe, caring hands. So good to read your OP - very best to you and your baby x

loislovesstewie · 02/12/2021 09:07

I want to say a big well done for actually asking for help! So many don't do that. I hope you continue to improve and congratulations on your new baby.

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 02/12/2021 09:18

I worked with a young woman some time ago, who was a victim of serious domestic abuse and had mental health difficulties plus other complexities around the father and substance misuse (as a professional) , she spent some time in a mother and baby unit and it was amazing, the staff were fantastic. I saw her about a year or so ago in the supermarket, confident, two children the eldest must've been about ten by that point, all chatting away. She would tell anyone how it was the making of her life with her child, for her children's services had been looking to remove the baby at birth and she was reluctant to go. You've done incredibly OP to ask for the support, it shows you put your baby first, I'm pleased it's such a positive experience for you.

LittleMysSister · 02/12/2021 09:24

Good for you OP - my best friend was in a MBU for a few months after her DD was born. It was a great support for her and allowed her to ease into having the responsibility of a baby so much more than if she's been trying to muddle through alone at home. Also allowed her to meet a lot of other mums to share with :)

Tal45 · 02/12/2021 09:34

Wow I think recognising that you need support and then asking for that support can be a really difficult thing and shows huge strength and courage. Well done OP, you should be so proud of yourself.

Sleeplessem · 02/12/2021 10:19

[quote Aisforharlot]@Sleeplessem
So I knew they existed, and I was already under the perinatal mental health team, so I requested an emergency appt with the psychiatrist on the team and asked (cried).
If I were you I'd ask to be contacted urgently by the perinatal mh team in your Trust, they might send out the crisis team, say you want to be considered for admission.[/quote]
I’m already under them, I’ve been waiting for an appointment with the psychologist since the start of my pregnancy, still waiting. So far the team have been useless, just sent a work book in the post for me to look at and that’s all…

Do you they help with sleep? That’s the thing for me? My daughter didn’t sleep for weeks and I became suicidally depressed from exhaustion so now with feeding and sleep I’ve no confidence so I’m just finding myself freaked out and a bit traumatised of it Happening again

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 02/12/2021 11:51

So good to hear a positive experience come from seeking help

milkyway91 · 10/01/2022 17:45

Hi,
I'm being admitted to an mbu tomorrow morning and terrified. It's 80 miles from my home and therefore my husband. I was wondering what the average length of stay was and what I should take?
Thanks!

notanothertakeaway · 10/01/2022 18:22

@milkyway91

Hi, I'm being admitted to an mbu tomorrow morning and terrified. It's 80 miles from my home and therefore my husband. I was wondering what the average length of stay was and what I should take? Thanks!

@milkyway91

Sorry, can't answer your questions, but I hope that staying at the unit is helpful to you and your baby

notanothertakeaway · 11/01/2022 16:17

@milkyway91

Hi, I'm being admitted to an mbu tomorrow morning and terrified. It's 80 miles from my home and therefore my husband. I was wondering what the average length of stay was and what I should take? Thanks!

@milkyway91 Hope you are getting on OK at the mother and baby unit

pandyandy1 · 11/01/2022 17:10

I too hope that you are getting the support that you need, at the mum and baby unit?

Aisforharlot - credit to you for asking for help, and credit to you for posting about your positive experience.

I had a voluntary, but lengthy stay in a mum and baby unit many years ago. When we went in, I was incredibly poorly and couldn't remotely function. When we came out, I was the polar opposite - I had a level of confidence back and I could see a bright future.

One particular member of staff was an angel on earth. She told me a million times that I would get better, and (although I shot her down with 'I'll never get better', every single time) she was correct. It was wonderful seeing her in a shopping center years later (with my third child!) and being able to thank her again.

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