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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

UPDATE: allegation against exH and child protection conference

2 replies

QuickSandSickSand · 02/12/2021 00:37

Some of you will have remembered my thread from the other day (which I had deleted due to sensitive and identifying information) about my exH and an allegation made against him and how we were being taken to a child protection conference. Some really helpful replies helped me prepare.

Had the conference today (well, Wednesday as it’s past midnight now!) - wasn’t happy as only got the report 3 hours before the meeting! And it was littered with errors, lies and misinformation. I got the chance to put some of these right but I had to decide in my own mind what was relevant and what wasn’t. For example, information about DD’s previous health condition was glaringly wrong but it wasn’t relevant to the subject so I decided to leave it, but I will email the IRO tomorrow anyway.

Got a chance to have my say and put forward how I am absolutely safeguarding my children, and I am open to all the outcomes from the investigation, and I will work with social services to continue to safeguard etc. I did go through the errors that were relevant though, I know some people said not to rock the boat but I was not going to allow the social worker to misrepresent my character or abilities as a mother. After this is all over, I’m putting in a mammoth complaint! There wasn’t nearly enough time for me to go through the report properly.

Anyway it didn’t last long, each agency had their say, most were very complimentary about me and my level of engagement and compliancy, and the focus seems to be looking at what will happen from the investigation.

Anyway the kids have been out on a Child In Need plan. Which I can live with. The IRO made it clear that they are not looking to escalate this to legal action or child removal as long as the plan is adhered to (too right as well) - essentially it’s doing what we’re doing now until there’s a conclusion to the investigation!

I did mention to the IRO beforehand that I am doing welfare checks on exH via exMIL as I have concerns about his MH, and that until the other day I was doing them directly - she had no issue with this and said they’re aware of his mental fragility and it’s fine for me to be concerned about it too as it affects the children.

I will also be getting a new social worker as this other one is a duty one. I daren’t type this out loud but let’s hope this one isn’t as much of an idiot as the last one.

OP posts:
XelaM · 02/12/2021 01:32

Well done OP! So glad that some common sense prevailed

QuickSandSickSand · 02/12/2021 09:17

Thank you!

Yes I’m pleased I didn’t pull contact the supervised from exH, there’s a couple of threads at the moment running about women going through family court and their abusive exH’s being given access and them chasistsed for trying to withhold it. I’m very conscious the system works against women and that that could be me!

OP posts:
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