When to quit

13 replies

LizzyMac40 · 01/12/2021 23:10

Random question… when do folks decide to stop having kids? Is there a right time to stop? How do folk react when it just happens out of the blue, especially outside the normal age range?

OP posts:

Blaaaaaaaaah · 01/12/2021 23:14

I just knew when I found out I was pregnant with my fourth that he was my last.
Was just a feeling, my sis said she had the same feeling with her 2nd.

hardboiledeggs · 02/12/2021 11:46

I knew I couldn't afford another without giving the kids i already had a harder life so I stopped.

HalloHello · 02/12/2021 11:49

I am happy with my 2, I just knew I wouldn't be as happy with 3. I am 34 now, and have a 3 month old. Wouldn't like to be any older with babies, want to enjoy my marriage as young people when the kids are a bit older.

Atla · 02/12/2021 11:51

I was quite unwell in my 3rd pregnancy (pre-eclampsia). We thought about finances and opportunities/attention for each child and ourselves. We were getting older and kids all close in age, all things considered by it made sense to stop. If I'd been 5 years younger I might have gone for another, but all in all, with health consideration s, probably not.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 02/12/2021 11:56

Always thought 2 was a nice number based on our financial circumstances. May have considered more if we won the lottery but we based it on finances. Shame more people don't really. DH went for the snip when youngest was 3 months old.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/12/2021 12:01

I only ever wanted 2 and as soon as DS2 was born at 23 I knew that was it. I'm 31 now with a 10 and nearly 8 year old and I still feel the same. I couldn't have another baby now.

unluckyinlife · 02/12/2021 12:52

I would love a 3rd. However, our finances mean that having a 3rd would mean cutting back on the lifestyle our 2dc currently have therefore we've decided unless finances change dramatically this is it for us.

Youdoyoutoday · 02/12/2021 14:25

I would like another but I'm after the good bits, holding a new born, snuggles, watching them for no reason, the cuteness. Not all the sleepless nights, colic etc.

In reality, I have 2 happy, healthy children, 8 and 2, I'm 41 now, getting married next year and don't want to be a pregnant bride or start TTC after the wedding and having a 3rd when I'm 43. I'll also be 57 when my youngest is 18, my DP will be 67. That's our time, another child would eat in to that and selfishly, I'm looking forward to that with my DP, holidays/weekends away on a whim etc. So that's me done with babies.

thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2021 14:27

It never occurred to me to want more than two kids and in reality I only had one. TBH I have never identified with this mindset where people "can't stop" having kids. Find it absolutely baffling that anyone would want to keep doing it again and again and again.

MujeresLibres · 02/12/2021 14:40

I always wanted a second. We had a lot of trouble having our first and had a miracle pregnancy in the end. After 4 years of trying for a second and all that entailed - failed IVF, near-obsessive monitoring of weight, alcoholic drinks, caffeine, anything that might make me slightly less fertile - I had to stop when I turned 40. I realized I'd spent the entirety of my 30s trying to get pregnant and pursuing it further would destroy me.

Mushrooms0up · 02/12/2021 14:42

Completely the opposite thought process for me.

My ‘default’ is no kids, and I’m now starting TTC number 1.

But there’s no decision to stop - the decision is whether to actively have one or not.

I’ll likely be done after 1.

DramaAlpaca · 02/12/2021 14:43

I just knew when pregnant with my third that he'd be my last child.

ChangeChingyChange · 02/12/2021 14:44

@HalloHello

Almost exactly the same as me and the same feelings too!

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