To feel guilty about letting this woman go

[Shouldifeelguilty]

I hired a really lovely woman five months ago, provided her with training, and ever since have set her briefs every day. She works from home and we mainly communicate via Slack, video call and phone call.

For the past two months things have been really slipping. We lost two clients due to her being really unresponsive and not completing tasks, we’ve had two clients complain about her, and she will take 3 x longer than anyone else on the team to complete the same task - even those with less experience. This means anyone else working at the same time is having to take on more of the workload.

She ignores my emails (hence the other communication methods) and doesn’t like to do things outside of her own ways.

I’ve checked in multiple times to ask if everything is okay, to check in to see how I can help, to see if there’s anything that she needs help with. She tells me she’s fine and it’s just ‘her way’ of working, but it got to the point where someone else on the team made a complaint, and I decided enough was enough and to let her go.

I’ve been met with comments about her mental health and how this is going to cause her lots of stress and I feel awful and my head is even saying to give her another chance, but I know from previous experience with her (where I have had conversations about the amount of productivity and complaints), that things will go well for a little while and then she will slip into old ways.

So I guess I’m asking AIBU to feel really guilty? Does this feeling ever go away? I’m just trying to do what’s best for others and for the business, but I don’t want to cause distress at the same time.

The best way to lose good employees is to keep bad ones.

She's not working though. You have already lost two clients because of her - how long are you prepared to let that continue?

@VillanellesOrangeCoat

YABU to feel guilty. Sounds like you’ve put in a lot of effort and support. Ultimately she needs to take responsibility for her own actions which have resulted in having to let her go

This exactly.

She’s lost you 2 clients, is endangering relationships with other clients, and is pissing your other employees off.

She also ignores you, refuses to do things a different way despite it fucking the business over.

YABU to feel guilty.

YABU to feel guilty. You have a duty to her colleagues who have to keep picking up the slack, and a duty to your clients to provide a decent service.

I think if she’s had a formal warning and action steps etc then she’s still not improving then fair enough.

You can't keep losing your clients through having incompetent staff members. You will feel a whole lot worse if your business goes down the pan.

Yabu to feel guilty. You don’t owe shit employees a job, but yo do owe your good employees colleagues who will pull their weight. Feel proud of yourself for considering and protecting them instead.

I have been in the position of the woman in question. My MH was not good, I had some large scale crises in my personal life, and as a result, my performance at work was inadequate.

I was fully aware that clients, other members of staff and managers were not happy with the way I was working, and I felt enormous stress because I could not focus enough to improve.

I believe, if I had stayed any longer, been given more chances, the stress would have increased.

Being let go from the position gave me the chance to find something much less stressful for a short time, and to focus on getting my mental health and life in order. It was the best thing for me at the time.

Please don't feel guilty. Often, if someone really is not coping, we do them no favours by keeping them in a situation that is simply adding to their pressures.

I voted YABU basically because you shouldn't have to shoulder the responsibility for her choices over how to work.

In reality, of course YANBU to feel guilt - you are a human being after all - but for your sanity, look at it objectively. She had chances, I presume you were quite clear with her about things going wrong, and she chose to not change.

The mental health comments will be designed to pull at your heart strings and make you feel like the monster. In reality her mental health would probably be lots better if she actually listened to people. I'm a bit on behalf of people with genuine MH problems, that there are people citing MH for the reason why they should be allowed to be a mini dictatorship.

@Shouldifeelguilty

We lost two clients due to her being really unresponsive and not completing tasks, we’ve had two clients complain about her, and she will take 3 x longer than anyone else on the team to complete the same task - even those with less experience.

I wonder how many other people those clients might have influenced to not giving you their business because of their negative experience?

You've given enough chances to an employee who seems unable or unwilling to work correctly and this will adversely affect your business. 🌹

I would have fired her earlier without much guilt. You lost two clients because she didn't do the work and two other clients have complained about her. When she does do something she will take 3 x longer than anyone else on the team to complete the same task. She ignores your emails and likes to do things her own way. Other team members have to pick up the slack for her slowness.

I would feel sorry for the people who had to take on more of the workload because you wouldn't make the hard call. What about their mental health and stress?. Why on earth would you give this lazy woman who is losing you clients and driving your other staff crazy another chance? Frankly if she ignored my emails repeatedly I'd fire her for that alone.

She's only "worked" for you for 5 months so there is no pattern of loyal service to consider because as far as I can see she's been nothing but trouble since the beginning. How many more clients will she offend in another 5 months? You've done everything to help her but there is no sustained improvement. You have to get rid of her to safeguard your business and the jobs of your other staff.