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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Name nickname dilemma

13 replies

Wishitwassummer · 01/12/2021 18:05

Looking for advice and opinions please Smile

I’ve got a long name that has lots of nicknames however I’ve always been known as my full name. I think I want to change to one of the nicknames but don’t know how to approach it with family and friends? I know they would all call me my new nickname but I’m worried people will think I’m silly as it’s a nickname I’ve always said I hated and never wanted to be called. For example, Rachel known as Rach, Catherine known as Kate, or Rebecca known as Becky. That type of thing. Obviously my full name will always be my full name but I’m an adult now and as much as I hated the nickname as a child, I actually like it now! I’m early 20s so I’m not sure if I’ve left it too late and it will seem weird!

OP posts:
TheGirlWhoLived · 01/12/2021 18:07

Why don’t you say something like ‘people have started calling me X at uni/work/the pub and actually it’s really growing on me now I’m older!”

TheGirlWhoLived · 01/12/2021 18:07

Then you put the onus of changing the name on others and a ‘reason’ for you changing your mind, which is sometimes easier to accept!

FlorenceNightshade · 01/12/2021 18:18

Just start using it. Sign off texts, emails and cards with it. Introduce yourself to people as it. Change social media name if you use it.
I'm sure no one will make a big deal and if they do just say it's grown on you

LawnFever · 01/12/2021 18:20

@TheGirlWhoLived

Why don’t you say something like ‘people have started calling me X at uni/work/the pub and actually it’s really growing on me now I’m older!”
Yeah this is a good idea Smile
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 01/12/2021 18:51

@TheGirlWhoLived

Why don’t you say something like ‘people have started calling me X at uni/work/the pub and actually it’s really growing on me now I’m older!”
That’s what I’d do.

From my experience I’ve had several friends/family members do this, and weirdly with some I have managed to shorten their name naturally after not doing so for many years, but others I haven’t been able to and it doesn’t come naturally. Not sure what is the difference between some people and others. Maybe the name itself lends to a more natural short form.

cakecakecheese · 01/12/2021 19:16

My cousin did this, legally changed her name to a shortened version of her name and told us. We forgot sometimes and she'd politely remind us and we eventually got used to it.

BetsyBigNose · 01/12/2021 23:18

I'm Elizabeth and was always known as "Lizzy" as a child. When I was around 12/13, I decided it was far too babyish (Grin) and went by Liz for a while. I started a new job around 10 years ago and my new boss started calling me Betsy, and I found I really liked it! It spread to all my colleagues at work quite naturally and I began to introduce myself to new people as Betsy.

I mentioned to my family that at work I'm known as Betsy, so some of them picked up on it and others (mainly my DM!) still call me Lizzy!

I think that if you tell people that others in different areas of your life call you "new name" and you find you actually prefer it, it feels like it suits you better, then hopefully they will take the hint. Obviously you should introduce yourself to new people using your new name too. I think you should go for it - having a name that suits you is important!

Original poster
Wishitwassummer · 02/12/2021 15:21

Great thank you everyone! Reassuring to know other people have changed their name/nickname too! I really like the idea of saying my friends started it and it’s actually not far away from the truth anyway as some friends did start calling me it and now I like it! Smile

OP posts:
Want2beme · 02/12/2021 15:39

BetsyBigNose I love the name Lizzy. I was only saying yesterday that I'd love to start using my middle name Elizabeth, after my grannie, instead of my first name, and be known as LizzyGrin.

I think you've just got to start using it yourself and tell/remind everyone as you go along. It'll be a bit of a slog to begin with, but they'll soon adjust. Do as you wish whilst you're young.

me4real · 02/12/2021 17:14

I was a Kathryn and recently officially changed it to Kath. So no, the long name needn't even remain your 'real' name. I prefer it for various reasons. And you're allowed to change your mind about liking the name. I even chose a slightly odd choice of surname lol. Do as you feel .

AFS1 · 02/12/2021 19:00

I did exactly this. I hated the shortened version of my name when I was growing up. When I went to uni people started using it and it grew on me. From my early 20s I would introduce myself by my shortened name. Took my family and childhood friends a while to get used to it, and some of them still use the longer name, which is totally fine, but I’m generally known by most people as my nickname now (except in work)

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 02/12/2021 19:32

I did this when I moved cities, which was a bit of an easier 'clean break'. I can date how long I've known people based on whether they use my full name or nickname. One of my 'nickname' friends didn't realise I had another name for more than two years. I just started going by it, introducing myself, used it for personal email addresses, changed it on social media, put it down as my official name at work etc. Quite a few people I've known pre change now call me by my nickname. Just go with it and commit Smile

SnoopyMcLoopy · 02/12/2021 19:40

My family and friends used a nickname for me that I abandoned when I left home at 18. Since I've got older (in my 50s now) I love that my sisters and old friends still call me this and now my kids do too (when they call me by a name rather than mum) snd they introduce me to their mates with this nickname 😊

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