AIBU re early regifting?

[Nc123]

Interested in people’s thoughts on this.

I start my Christmas shopping very early, as I have to allow time for gifts to be posted to my scattered family, including DB2 and DSIL who live abroad. I ordered gifts for them from Amazon and had them delivered directly to DB2 and DSIL’s house. Gift options weren’t available on all of them so just told DB2 to expect packages and put them away for Christmas as they weren’t wrapped. DB2 is a bugger to buy for so I usually get him something silly and/or weird - it’s part of our tradition.

Today in conversation he mentioned that he’d had two packages which he thought were from DB1 and had decided to regift to my D.C. (I can’t tell you what they are as would be outing but they would both be suitable presents for my D.C.). Yep, they weren’t from DB1. So the presents which I bought, ages ago, put thought into, paid extra to have shipped halfway across Europe - are coming back to my actuaL house.

I’m really miffed. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, and if he’d regifted them after Christmas I’d have felt a lot less hurt. I’d already agreed that from now on I’d donate to the dog sanctuary for him as he’s trying to have less stuff but the presents had already been delivered by the time he’d told me that!

AIBU?

Have you told him they were from you and not your brother?

@RosieLemonadeAndSugar

Have you told him they were from you and not your brother?

Yes. He apologised straight away and I said if he’d asked i would have told him. It’s done now and he can’t do much about it so felt like I couldn’t say much more than that

Is sending gifts around the world a particularly Mumsnet thing to do? I've never sent a present overseas and don't relly understand why people go to all the hassle, are overseas relatives really so bothered about receiving presents? Why don't you all just stop doing it and have a stress free time

Channel Martin Lewis for heaven's sake

I think its probably time to stop wasting your time and money on daft gifts, he clearly doesn't want or appreciate them. Save yourself the hassle.

I don’t think it’s necessarily a mumsnet thing. My husband’s family live in the UK and we send presents back every year except for last year and this year. We are sending presents from online shops this year.

Ouch! I’d take the hint and propose it’s time to stop with the presents unless you’re actually seeing each other.

Amazon evoucher next year.

For our overseas relatives I buy something for my kids from them and label as such they do the same. So much less hassle and avoids the crazy shipping costs.

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair

Is sending gifts around the world a particularly Mumsnet thing to do? I've never sent a present overseas and don't relly understand why people go to all the hassle, are overseas relatives really so bothered about receiving presents? Why don't you all just stop doing it and have a stress free time

Channel Martin Lewis for heaven's sake

Absolutely this, especially if the received is hard to buy for. It’s just more unnecessary crap being bought isn’t it?

@idontlikealdi

For our overseas relatives I buy something for my kids from them and label as such they do the same. So much less hassle and avoids the crazy shipping costs.

We did this with siblings and would do a big swap quietly when we all got together from the boot of the car!

It meant each child got things they loved and were really into.

As parents we all got a great laugh from being thanked profusely for something a niece or nephew were delighted with and couldn't believe we knew about and bought them.

So cute.

It also meant that we were able to pick up 5 things they really wanted and could receive as a gift easily.

OP, I think that was really rude of your brother and galling, but I'd just not bother in future and try and forget about it.

Thanks everyone. I very rarely get the opportunity to see DB2 - it’s been three years since last time and before that it was two years since the previous time - so have always seen gifting as a good opportunity to stay in touch. I don’t know if it’s a MN thing to do but it’s what we’ve always done in our family since he moved abroad. Brexit has impacted it as we never used to have to pay customs charges.

He raised with me this week that he’d prefer donations to charity in future, which I agreed to do going forward - but I’d already had the gifts delivered by then and they had arrived. So this was going to be our last year of doing it anyway.

I think it wouldn’t have killed him to wait till Christmas before deciding to regift or whatever, but to regift before is dismissive of the thought and expense involved, and it hurt.

Of course it hurt and it WAS spectacularly rude.