Mood balancing medication

[Rosirose]

I posted on here a few years ago about my DD who was an A* student and struggling which overworking and trying to be perfect. She has now finished university and has just started a job which she loves. In her second year at university she was diagnosed with depression. She went on tablets and everything seemed fine. She was happy at the beginning of her third year and then totally out of the blue (to her as well) she decided to take an overdose and cut her wrist (although not badly) She changed her mind after an hour or so and woke her housemate who took her to hospital. We were called and we took her straight home - she actually thought she was going to stay at uni and we would just go home! To cut a long story short, it turns out she had been self-harming for a while, although she still maintained she was ok and she just felt overwhelmed and the overdose was totally spontaneous. She was allowed to go back to Uni as she was determined to finish her degree (we suggested maybe she should drop out) Her psychiatrist changed her meds trying different ones and eventually she was on a cocktail of three types. When uni finished, she dropped down to a low dose of just one type and seemed fine. She is someone who gets stressed and her mood swings are more extreme than most peoples. She is now seeing a therapist who recommended that she go back to the psychiatrist. She has changed psychiatrist but the new one is recommending that she goes on mood balancing medication. I would never say anything to her (she has not taken it yet as they need to do blood tests first) but this type of medication scares me totally (I myself am on a low dose anti-depressant as a result of the stress which I have absorbed from her and I feel so much better). Mood balancing medication seems to be a step further. Will she be able to feel happy and sad? Will her lovely personality be squashed. She is so lovely and such fun. Whilst I want her to be happy and balanced I don't want her to be under a chemical cosh. Does anyone have any advice that could help me?

I do think it is part genetic because my mood swings also used to be extreme. I would feel down for no good reason and then my mood would just lift. If I had known that the low dose anti-depressent I'm on would help so much I would have taken it years ago.

I think you are jumping to a lot of conclusions about a Chemical cosh. That said I do understand your concerns.

Your daughter is an adult and will be given all the information she needs to make an informed choice to decide about this medication. I don't think anyhow chooses new medication lightly and if this can make her reality more bearable then the pay off might well be worth it.

I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and I have been on mood stabilisers for nigh on twenty years and I have not lost my personality. The mood stabilisers just regulate the highs and lows so they are not as extreme.

Thank you so much for giving that reassurance. I struggled for so many years and I would so hate for my daughter to do the same. So it is so good to here first hand from someone who takes them. This has helped me! A good start to my morning.

Has she been screened for ADHD or Autism? I've been on all kinds of psychiatric drugs which didn't help me and turns out I have ADHD there are many women out there (and on here!) who have the same story. Studying pushed me over the edge emotionally and after years at college and Uni I ended up leaving without a degree at all, despite being academically able it is the coursework side of things that I can't deal with and all of the other life stuff. ADHD effects executive functions and one of those is emotional regulation. For me you add in hormonal changes and/or stress and I fall apart (but ironically I'm good in an immediate crisis like a fire or accident). It effects everyone differently but can effect any or all of the executive functions. It's often misdiagnosed as a mental health issue in women, but can also be a 'co morbid' condition, so both are present and overlap. Autism also effects executive function, and many people have autistic traits and ADHD traits which can decrease stress tolerance and emotional regulation. That's not to say these meds won't work, I really hope they do, but it is worth exploring all avenues. I used to think I must be having a mental health crisis in these situations. I would have a big emotional outburst, when I was young this included self harm and overdoses, then my emotions would just go back to normal again and I'd be like "WTF was that?" Everyone around me would be thinking I needed sectioning, and I'd just be fine again. Now I recognise that pattern and instead of thinking those big feelings will never go away and need acting out on in some way I can wait for the emotional storm to pass and try to find ways to get back to a regulated state more quickly. Medication never helped me with that, but the right diagnosis did.

I hope she finds a way to healing and happiness, whether these meds are the right fit or not ❤️‍🩹

Hi @Rosirose sorry you are going through this it's so hard.
I also came here to ask whether she had been assessed for ASD or ADHD as a few things are definitely ringing bells.

If you use Facebook I would recommend joining the private group called Parenting Mental Health, it's a incredible source of support and advice (with zero judgement!) from other parents going through the same.

So sorry you are going through this.
You could have been my mum writing this post as I went through similar and it had my parents pulling their hair out.

I was on quetiapine which I believe is a mood stabiliser as well as citalopram. This was my magic mix which just seemed to work. I lived on both for 8 years - in that time I found an amazing husband, bought a house, succeeded at work. It changed my life. The only negative was the side effects - it made me so sleepy but these do get better with time.

Unfortunately I recently came off of them to start trying for a baby and have relapsed so gone back onto the citalopram. (I believe I could have stayed on them both whilst trying to conceive but wanted to try to stop first). I'm still early days on citalopram and May need to go back onto the quetiapine too.

The one thing I will say is all of these interventions are helping to give her coping skills. I coped much better with my recent breakdown because I had been there before and knew the important things like asking for help and reaching out.

I know it seems scary but hang in there. Medication, when it's the right mix, can honestly be completely life changing.

Also worth noting, my relationship with my parents is so strong now because of knowing they were always there for me with my mental health struggles. One day she will look back at these struggles and feel so lucky to have you as a mum xx

I’m not going to try and guess what is going on diagnostically but I’m another one who has been on a mood stabiliser and had difficulties not unlike your daughter at the same age and now have a late adhd diagnosis. With adhd the emotional regulation difficulties are often triggered more by external factors. Have a look at RSD and Adhd. If any of that raises red flags then worth considering as it can be missed and should be routinely considered where emotional regulation and self harm are concerned. In terms of meds always encourage her to be confident in asking what the alternatives are or for a second opinion but if she finds a doctor she trusts then meds won’t change her - just watch for side effects as any good doctor should.

Thank you so much for your comments. She is on escitalipram 20mg at the moment. I have looked up ADHD and Autism as a few of you have mentioned the possibility but she seems to have no symptoms. She can concentrate for hours. She reads people very well, she is caring and very empathetic and makes friends easily - when she isn't stressed. Also, this was never mentioned by her first psychiatrist and it also hasn't been mentioned by the one she has just seen. She is seeing a CBT therapist who she says is helping as he really "gets her" and he also hasn't mentioned it. Could they all have missed it?

Look up ADHD hyperfocus. ADHD is a poorly named condition as it's not that people with ADHD cannot focus, it's that they cannot focus on things they are not interested in. I have severe ADHD, and I can concentrate for hours on certain things. Your post rings a lot of bells for me and my life is SO much better post diagnosis.

OMG that sounds like my son. He could focus for hours on things he wanted to (like building things or his computer) but couldn't focus on things like studying. We did actually have him assessed for Autism but we were told he didn't have it. He seems ok now though - he is 24 and has a job that he enjoys in computers. My daughter can concentrate for hours on absolutely anything - even if she hated the subject anything less than a perfect result would upset her - even though she used to say "I just want to pass" so again, she doesn't tick that box.