AIBU to keep my kids off school?

[LittleMissMe99]

We are currently in a very high rate area of covid. Dozens and dozens of children are off with covid from both the highschool and primary.
I am high risk having sarcoidosis of the lungs and heart AND I am due an operation in December which I've waited years for. Is it unreasonable to not send my children to school? They only have three weeks left. Im torn because they'll be stuck at home and bored and will miss any Christmas festivities in school. Not to mention my eldest was chosen to attend an event for high achieving students, which she will miss. Mostly I'm concerned I'll miss my operation I think. What would you do?

Mask up at home
Keep windows open
Don't hug or kiss dc
Keep your food separate
Have someone take them to school
Your dc should not miss out

Isolate the family 12 days before your op

How old are your kids? I really feel for you, my mum has sarcoidosis and we have to be really careful with the kids seeing her if they are unwell. I'm not sure what is do in your situation. My gut would be to keep them off, but only if their education won't suffer ie. not in important exam years

I’m having reconstructive surgery following cancer that I’ve waited almost 2 years. I decided that isolating on my own was better than keeping my year 6 off school for the end of term and it’s not been too bad. Is that an options

I would isolate either by yourself or as a family for two weeks before your op.

I honestly think there is nothing wrong in keeping your children off school. I’m sure the school will understand if you say you’re going to be having a really important operation. Self isolating in your home and not being with your kids would be worse emotionally for them I think, than keeping them off school and missing their friends for a couple of weeks - it’s important for them to have you there with them and for them.

You can have fun with your kids at home - they can still do school work from home so won’t miss that. I wouldn’t about the event for high achieving students - you could have a celebration family dinner etc.

You must priorise your health and I think the risk is too great if you get something from school. The hospital will postpone your op if anyone in the home tests positive. It’s just too much of a risk.

Hope your operation goes well.

If your children are old enough, take all the precautions you can at home and support them to live their lives. If they’re younger it’s more difficult and only you can decide.

If I were due an operation I think I’d chose to isolate myself before keeping my children off school, especially if one had an award to receive.

I'm really sorry that you are going through this stressful time and having to make such a difficult decision.

I don't think there is a clear cut right or wrong. Yes the kids might miss out on some Xmas stuff but it's better their parent stays alive!

3 weeks plus 2 weeks holidays is a long time off. Particularly when other students are in school so they'll miss out socially.

I'd isolate yourself rather than isolate them.

What a horrible dilemma. So sorry you need to make this decision.

The school will say it’s unauthorised absence and you may be fined. That’s what we were told.

I think you should do pros and cons of each option and rate each point out of 10 in terms of importance to you as a whole family. Then add up the scores to see which comes out too. Then notice your gut reaction. Does it say ‘phew’ ‘great’ or does it feel uneasy? Unless you are prone to be over-anxious you should go with your gut. If you tend to be over-anxious go with the score.

Talk to your kids about it too and let them express any difficult feelings.

If they go in then put lots of protective measures in place. Cleaning touch points, regular hand washing. Masks on when sitting together or hugging, take vit c and d to boost your immune system if you can. Ventilate the house regularly. Get kids to change and shower when they get home.

Could they stay with someone else temporarily? It would be hard but you could see them but in more controlled conditions?

Good luck.

*comes out top.

Make sure you have up to date information on your risk level too. You probably have but there is new research coming out all the time.

I would also isolate myself and not them. I'm sorry.

Your dc should not miss out

They shouldn't miss out on having their mum around! If isolating without them until the operation isn't an option, I'd take them out in an instant in your situation. Especially given there are so many cases in your area - it's a no-brainer. What's three weeks of school versus their mother's health? I think it's easy for non-clinically-vulnerable people - or those who haven't had Covid badly - to be quite blasé about the virus and forget how dangerous it actually is to those whose immunity is compromised.

Best of luck with the op

How old are your kids? Could you isolate for 7 to 10 days away from them before your operation? If not then yes I would probably keep them off school.

Keep them off. Three weeks is nothing in the scheme of things. Schools are covid soup, as expected.

Also, we took our DC out a few weeks before the last lockdown for similar reasons and school were completely supportive when we explained why. Most reasonable HTs aren't looking for reasons to fine families in already difficult situations. Also, it didn't seem to do my DC any harm - they just started the xmas holidays a little early! I think there's a lot of scaremongering about kids missing small amounts of school - if they're generally happy/settled, it really isn't going to make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things.

I also don’t think isolating two weeks before the op is an option - if you get ill in the first week of not isolating, you will still probably not be able to go ahead with the op if you had severe covid. I still say isolate with them at home for the full 3 weeks.

I would keep them off I think, explain to the school why and I would hope they wouldn't put it as unauthorised.
The only other thing I was thinking was how old are the kids? Can you ask their opinion? It might be that your daughter while looking forward to the award would rather keep you safe if she is able to understand how important it is.

Having a mum is more important than 3 weeks of school.

Thank you all for your wise words! They are 14 and 11 and would be very happy to not go to school! I can't isolate myself unfortunately as their dad works away. He is taking time off after my surgery, so can't take more. My surgery is 17 days away and that's 5 days before they finish for Xmas hols I think. I think I'll keep them home from Monday. My youngest is in a class of 35 and only 15 children were in. The rest off with covid.

Thanks all for your advice. It's always nice to hear what others think

Ah 14 and 11 very different. I’m sure they can work from home and socialise online. I was picturing my 8 and 9 year olds who would be devastated to miss more school and in-person playing with friends.

I would keep them of in a blink op.
This operation is far, far more important than two weeks of school and activities.
Please keep them home, isolate yourselves and get your op.