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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would your past self be happy with your current self?

147 replies

Hairbrush123 · 29/11/2021 18:51

That’s it really…

OP posts:
Minceandonions · 29/11/2021 21:19

13 year old me thought I'd be a high-powered "business woman" living in a loft conversion in a major international city. She didn't know about property prices! So she might be a bit disappointed!

25 year old me would be really proud and happy of who I've become (I'm now 37). I've got a great career, lovely home in a beautiful location, and happy marriage. I've finally made quite a few nice friends after YEARS of loneliness. I've 'found' myself and what makes me feel happy and passionate. And I've stuck to my guns on some big issues and not compromised.

TillyTopper · 29/11/2021 21:22

Yes definitely! I think my past self would be impressed with how my career has gone. Marriage not so much :)

littledrummergirl · 29/11/2021 21:27

Nope. My life is nothing like the one teenage me was expecting. She would be disappointed that I'm not running the world, jet setting and owning my own empire with shed loads of spare cash.
She would be furious that I got married and had dc.

Current me would point out that I'm very happy, love my life and every decision made was the right one. I wouldn't change anything.

MostTacticalNameChange · 29/11/2021 21:27

Nah, she'd be absolutely fucking devastated.

As am I!

HelplesslyHoping · 29/11/2021 21:30

She'd be thrilled, especially with DH Grin

ToughTittyWhompus · 29/11/2021 21:34

Yes.

For over a decade I believed my life was fucked because I had a breakdown and couldn’t finish my A Levels.

I’m at Uni now, STEM student.

Don’t think she would be too chuffed about 3 children and a lone parent, though…

(I was very anti having children Blush)

ldontWanna · 29/11/2021 21:40

She'd be fucking impressed that I'm still alive so I'm already winning. As bonus I'm not only alive, but I'm ok from most points of view.

She'd piss herself laughing that I have a daughter when we always said we wanted a boy. Grin

dayswithaY · 30/11/2021 10:09

She would be stunned that a man wanted to marry me.

Relieved that I was able to get pregnant.

Slightly confused by my career path but understanding of the reasons ie, me being me.

She would give me a lot more credit than I currently give myself.

She would be sad that I'm still dealing with my demons, and disappointed that I hadn't found a way to be at peace with myself by now.

TheKeatingFive · 30/11/2021 10:20

Yes I think so. Though she'd be surprised by the career direction (definitely not disappointed).

Her understanding of realistic property aspirations in major cities was way off though. 😆

Madickenxx · 30/11/2021 10:32

Love this!

15 year old me would be happy with my career achievements, the fact that I live in a different country to where I was born and that I'm in a great relationship. She would be bitterly disappointed that I wasted 23 years with an abusive man and only found a good relationship in my mid-forties. She would also be most unimpressed with my DC (similar ages to past self) and at their lack of ambition to travel, see the world and achieve great things.

My past self at 30 would be ecstatic that I managed to get out of my marriage as I didn't think that would ever happen.

My current self is relatively happy where she is now apart from her well worn and cushioned body which, in the great scheme of things, don't matter one jot.

MultiStorey · 30/11/2021 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SSOYS · 30/11/2021 10:39

She'd be unhappy with my being overweight and not having fulfilled my career potential. She'd be very happy with my husband, children, interests and lifestyle.

ValleyOfTheTramadols · 30/11/2021 10:48

Well my past self (ages 16-22) was a heroin addict on the street hanging out in gutters and alleys with needle holes all over my body, no qualifications, no job and a bad case of hepatitis c. Now I am 39, completely healthy, happily married mother of two young children, with an undergraduate and a master’s degree, own my own home and run my own successful business. Haven’t touched recreational drugs for 17 years. So yep, I have everything my past self ever wanted but thought she’d never have.

ssd · 30/11/2021 10:49

I wish I'd been a bit more selfish. I feel a bit walked on.

ssd · 30/11/2021 10:50

@ValleyOfTheTramadols, well done you, thats brilliant.

Queenie6655 · 30/11/2021 10:51

Yes for sure
1st class Cambridge grad who escaped a vile abuser

Yes I did it !!!!

Oh and set up my own business

SSOYS · 30/11/2021 10:52

@ValleyOfTheTramadols What a great post to read! A really wonderful achievement.

drpet49 · 30/11/2021 10:57

Yes, she would be thrilled

BloodyFeetByMoonlight · 30/11/2021 10:59

This isn’t even my final form yet.

Plenty of time before an end review.

Hairymclairy52 · 30/11/2021 11:17

I think she’d be pleased at how far I’ve come and what I have achieved, but frustrated that I’ve hit a brick wall and not really enjoying the fruits of my labours as I thought I would

I’m all out of juice: I’m in a great place, I just can’t make the most of it and enjoy it because I’m so damn exhausted.

Linning · 30/11/2021 12:27

15 yo me would be astonished and probably wouldn’t trust me if I told her.

My teenage self never pictured herself ever making it past her teenage years and she definitely thought she would be miserable forever.

She would be shocked to find out she is gay and out and very happy (and quite successful in that department).

She probably would take a double take at the mirror because teenage me definitely neglected her appearance after being sexually assaulted a few times as she thought she needed to look bad/invisible to avoid assaults. She would be SHOCKED to see what I look like and dare wear now (unapologetically) and how I have reclaimed back my body/appearance and sexuality and very very proud of it I think, as that’s something she wasn’t brave enough to do.

She would be initially disappointed that I still work in the same/very similar field my mom works in as she had made herself a promise she wouldn’t have a life that resembled at all the one of her mother, but she would probably give me a high five and a seal of approvable once she had a quick look at my paycheck.

She would be amazed at all the adventures I have been on and countries I have lived in and would be shocked I learned to speak a few languages when I used to be so bad at English.

She would overall be over the moon with the life I am living now and what I look like and my ongoing/upcoming projects and plans. She would be a bit sad/disappointed that my relationship with my parents never got better and in fact got worse and would be shocked to find out the things I found out about them, but would be very proud of the fact that unlike my teenage years, I don’t let it bring me down and down the path of despair and depression and actually use it as a fuel to reach each and every goal.

My teenage self would genuinely not believe that this is who she has become and that she went from shy, awkward, not-confident meek girl, to a fierce, confident and independent woman who not only knows what she wants but also goes for it and fight for it and have no qualms telling people off and making herself respected.

My current self is often in disbelief of who I have become and so so grateful for how life turned out and I remind myself quite often how far I have come and how proud and grateful I need to be of the changes I have made.

I am curious what my current self will feel of my future self though (as I am currently mid/late 20’s)
as right now it doesn’t feel like it gets much better than that. So I am a bit scared it will be downhill from there!

3scape · 30/11/2021 12:33

Not at all. I've failed myself in so many ways

notanothertakeaway · 30/11/2021 12:36

@ValleyOfTheTramadols hats off to you. Thats amazing

notanothertakeaway · 30/11/2021 12:46

My 20 year old me would be disappointed I'm not a high flyer in New York

My 35 year old me would be so happy that I found a lovely man to marry and have a family with

Heepers · 30/11/2021 12:49

Yes I think she really would. My current self is not so proud of my past self though...