Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed they've cancelled my son's nativity

552 replies

JudesBiggestFan · 29/11/2021 15:22

I'm just so tired of the arbitrary and pointless decisions that rob children and parents of yet more joy.
Last year my son had his nativity play cancelled at preschool. This year, the school (after designating him a shepherd and giving him a line...the excitement!) have cancelled again. Because Covid. Never mind all the pubs, restaurants, Christmas shopping, family parties that all the kids, teachers and parents will be going to.
The nativity is some kind of super spreader event that must be forfeited!
It's not going to make the news, but I'm just so bloody tired of it all. He'll never be this little and innocent again...I tolerated it last year but my patience is gone.
Anyone who wants to be is jabbed, we have lateral flows, it's as safe as it ever will be.
Yet the commercial stuff can go on, but the pure joyful ness of a kids Christmas nativity can't. Just wanted to vent really. No point complaining in real life anymore!

OP posts:
mllke · 29/11/2021 19:20

@JudesBiggestFan

I just think it's ludicrous. West end shows are full, pubs are teeming, my elderly parents have just got back from a Spanish holiday...but I can't see my four year old in the school hall. CoVID has already ripped through the school this term, there can barely have been a family unaffected, including my own. No-one to my knowledge seriously ill, just a few days off colour. If you're still scared of catching CoVID then of course don't go. But given kids have been stuffed into unventilated classrooms for months, it seems a little weird that it's suddenly a problem for parents to spend half an hour in the school hall. I feel I've been having this argument for months, but kids should be the priority. Their development, their emotional well-being, their childhood. As an emergency services worker my kids have gone to school throughout...because I was legally allowed to send them and I chose to (all bar a few weeks in the first lockdown). The older two are excelling academically and the youngest's teacher this week said it shines through that he has gone to school throughout, both because he is doing so well and because he still has a discipline that loads of them have lost. As an emergency worker I see on the streets the consequences of disaffected children...increased violence, drug taking, hostility to authorities. No, one nativity play won't change much of course. But a society that continually shrugs its shoulders at depriving its children of all that previous generations took for granted, is causing immense harm. Because covid doesn't cut it for me anymore.
Totally agree
RedToothBrush · 29/11/2021 19:24

Worst bit is, i know darn well which parents will make the biggest noise if schools get closed again too.

No school plays at all if that happens.

Original poster
JudesBiggestFan · 29/11/2021 19:26

To all of the people who seem to think I have nothing else to worry about than a nativity play, quite the contrary! As I said before, I'm a frontline emergency services worker in Birmingham...let me assure you I'm pretty busy. And I see much of the misery, mental health issues and deprivation the world has to offer.
In my spare time I'm bringing up three young sons and I also have crohns, for which i'm on quite wonderful immuno suppressants to keep me stable. My life isn't all rainbows and unicorns.
But after a shitty, exhausting, stressful few years I was just looking forward to seeing my youngest perform in all his four year old cuteness.
And when an audience of celebs can watch Adele just a couple of weeks ago on TV, to feel just a little irate I can't.
Im CEV but jabbed and want to crack on with life.
Im bloody working my socks off to make Christmas lovely for my little people...for me, I was just looking forward to looking at that sea of innocent little faces and being reminded of all that's good in the world! It's not a tragedy no...but it's a moment I'll never get back.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 29/11/2021 19:26

Reading this appreciating our school even more now, doing full works and keeping a lid on cases. Maybe it’s all the LFTs

mumpants · 29/11/2021 19:27

Yep really sad. And especially when everything else packed theatres for panto etc all going ahead. It does seem abitrary.

MarshaBradyo · 29/11/2021 19:27

@JudesBiggestFan

To all of the people who seem to think I have nothing else to worry about than a nativity play, quite the contrary! As I said before, I'm a frontline emergency services worker in Birmingham...let me assure you I'm pretty busy. And I see much of the misery, mental health issues and deprivation the world has to offer. In my spare time I'm bringing up three young sons and I also have crohns, for which i'm on quite wonderful immuno suppressants to keep me stable. My life isn't all rainbows and unicorns. But after a shitty, exhausting, stressful few years I was just looking forward to seeing my youngest perform in all his four year old cuteness. And when an audience of celebs can watch Adele just a couple of weeks ago on TV, to feel just a little irate I can't. Im CEV but jabbed and want to crack on with life. Im bloody working my socks off to make Christmas lovely for my little people...for me, I was just looking forward to looking at that sea of innocent little faces and being reminded of all that's good in the world! It's not a tragedy no...but it's a moment I'll never get back.
I get you op Flowers
mllke · 29/11/2021 19:28

@FrownedUpon

YABU. I’d rather school take all precautions to keep children, their families & staff safe. Who really cares about a nativity in the grand scheme of things.
My children care, I want them to be able to look back on their childhood with good memories especially of school. It feels like children are being punished in order for adults to have their wants and needs tended to.
OhMyCrump · 29/11/2021 19:32

It's not a tragedy no...but it's a moment I'll never get back.

I understand OP.

DunderMifflinSalesRep · 29/11/2021 19:33

Pretty sad that some posters on here don't get why this is so important. It's a milestone and our kids have already missed so many.

There are maskless teachers attending awards ceremonies, groups of adults hugging each other in the pub, concerts and football matches attended by thousands. And yet we're the selfish ones for wanting our kids to be able to take part in these special moments.

Either restrictions have to be placed on everybody, or not at all. The current system is punishing children for the benefit of adults.

RobinHobb · 29/11/2021 19:35

@JudesBiggestFan

To all of the people who seem to think I have nothing else to worry about than a nativity play, quite the contrary! As I said before, I'm a frontline emergency services worker in Birmingham...let me assure you I'm pretty busy. And I see much of the misery, mental health issues and deprivation the world has to offer. In my spare time I'm bringing up three young sons and I also have crohns, for which i'm on quite wonderful immuno suppressants to keep me stable. My life isn't all rainbows and unicorns. But after a shitty, exhausting, stressful few years I was just looking forward to seeing my youngest perform in all his four year old cuteness. And when an audience of celebs can watch Adele just a couple of weeks ago on TV, to feel just a little irate I can't. Im CEV but jabbed and want to crack on with life. Im bloody working my socks off to make Christmas lovely for my little people...for me, I was just looking forward to looking at that sea of innocent little faces and being reminded of all that's good in the world! It's not a tragedy no...but it's a moment I'll never get back.
Me too. School just emailed about cancelling the nativity play.

I work in a hospital too - cancer research. I was looking forward to the kids play. And again it makes me very angry that kids are being penalised. I remember feeling the same way, and a thread on mumsnet in the summer when parents weren't allowed at sports day but the rugby at Wembley was allowed to go ahead. At the time I thought well, at least there is the nativity.

I mean, when will this all end? It's a virus, new mutations will keep coming up.

RedToothBrush · 29/11/2021 19:36

@mumpants

Yep really sad. And especially when everything else packed theatres for panto etc all going ahead. It does seem abitrary.
But its nooootttt faiiiiirrrrrrr!

Sqcreamed the toddler-adult who can't grasp the difference between adults and kids.

The toddler-adult who doesn't grasp the need for education and well being of vulnerable kids who dont get a choice about going to school and doing as much as possible to protect that as a priority - and how even 10 days out of school with covid for some kids is a big deal and risk for them and adults who can either get vaccinated or take their life into their own hands and choose to go to the theatre, which they have the means to afford in the first place.

Thebackofbeyondandback · 29/11/2021 19:37

That was a very ugly post, @RedToothBrush

Seriously, read it and have a think about why a kids nativity fills you with so much hate.

I have no idea what’s wrong with you, tbh.

TinselTitsAndGlitteryBits · 29/11/2021 19:38

@Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin

It is a lovely idea, I'm very grateful to her teacher for coming up with it!
They've made all the paper lanterns too which is sweet.

RobinHobb · 29/11/2021 19:39

@RedToothBrush

Worst bit is, i know darn well which parents will make the biggest noise if schools get closed again too.

No school plays at all if that happens.

I also know which people will complain because their ambulance didn't come to pick them up fast enough or their cancer treatment trial was delayed because the people who were meant to do it were at home with their kids as schools had closed. Let's stop painting parents are negligent/lazy/careless because 1) they want their kids at school and 2) want to enjoy their nativity play.
rrhuth · 29/11/2021 19:40

@Thebackofbeyondandback

That was a very ugly post, *@RedToothBrush*

Seriously, read it and have a think about why a kids nativity fills you with so much hate.

I have no idea what’s wrong with you, tbh.

I don't think it was an ugly post - it was pointing out that protecting education is the priority, and that there are vulnerable children in schools.

It isn't that nativities fill people with hate - but the play is a 'nice to have', not the core business of a school.

LettertoHermoine · 29/11/2021 19:40

@DunderMifflinSalesRep

Pretty sad that some posters on here don't get why this is so important. It's a milestone and our kids have already missed so many.

There are maskless teachers attending awards ceremonies, groups of adults hugging each other in the pub, concerts and football matches attended by thousands. And yet we're the selfish ones for wanting our kids to be able to take part in these special moments.

Either restrictions have to be placed on everybody, or not at all. The current system is punishing children for the benefit of adults.

@RedToothBrush

Genuinely get off your arse and do a home nativity for your own kids within your family if it bothers you that fucking much. Do it in front of nanny and grandad. You dont need a classroom full of kids nor a special invitation from the school to do your own imaginative thing to make special memories and have rights of passage. You be the bloody back end of the donkey

You keep being the full one then. Whoops sorry I meant sheep. Keep hiding, Keep being scared, Keep missing out, Keep bleating on. Perpetually.

Thebackofbeyondandback · 29/11/2021 19:41

It was an extremely ugly post, filled with hate, scorn and derision.

rrhuth · 29/11/2021 19:42

@Thebackofbeyondandback

It was an extremely ugly post, filled with hate, scorn and derision.
Maybe we are reading different posts.
authenticforgery · 29/11/2021 19:42

@RedToothBrush that was absolutely foul.

DunderMifflinSalesRep · 29/11/2021 19:42

@Thebackofbeyondandback

That was a very ugly post, *@RedToothBrush*

Seriously, read it and have a think about why a kids nativity fills you with so much hate.

I have no idea what’s wrong with you, tbh.

It's also nonsensical. How does not having the Nativity prevent cases in school when kids and families are out mixing with strangers in all other settings like cinemas, theatres etc?

If there are enough cases in the community then it will spread via all of these other settings, coming into schools, regardless of whether or not we have a nativity. So again, what is the point of focusing interventions purely on school events?

Either put restrictions on everyone, or not at all.

wonkylegs · 29/11/2021 19:43

@JudesBiggestFan if you ask in years to come most kids won't remember these moments (I checked with my teenager) so although there may be some initial disappointment I'm sure no lasting damage will occur. You may remember for longer but that too will blur into the memories.
It's a bit sad but I'm not sure I can get on with the drama over it all and yes my 5yo's has been cancelled too.

Thebackofbeyondandback · 29/11/2021 19:45

We aren’t reading different posts at all.

Smug twats
Genuinely get off your arse and do a home nativity for your own kids within your family if it bothers you that fucking much
make the best of what you have and appreciate it for all its worth because god knows what the next month never mind 12 months might bring

Don’t be disingenuous. You might agree with it, but you can’t read it and claim it wasn’t dripping with hatred.

RedToothBrush · 29/11/2021 19:46

@Thebackofbeyondandback

That was a very ugly post, *@RedToothBrush*

Seriously, read it and have a think about why a kids nativity fills you with so much hate.

I have no idea what’s wrong with you, tbh.

I just dont get why a nativity is the be all and end all!

I just dont get why people have absolutely no context or appreciation of what is at stake for some kids in really difficult circumstances.

I can't abide the pure unadulterated entitlement of parents who cant understand that their missed feelings are not the priority.

Kids on bums in school is.

TinselTitsAndGlitteryBits · 29/11/2021 19:46

@Drumshambo

I suspect There are parents, grandparents, aunties etc all over the country who will be bloody delighted that they don't have to sit in a freezing hall, bored shitless listening to little Jack and little Lottie mumbling incoherently for over an hour😀
Going by this thread, there are a lot of parents who are mightily pissed off that they aren't able to participate in a big part of their small child's life.

Nativities are only part of their lives when they're tiny. I (and many others) have missed 2 years of things like that, with only a few chances left.

I imagine you're only able to smile about it lightheartedly because you were in the position to watch your children.

Italiandreams · 29/11/2021 19:47

Did they explicitly say it’s cancelled due to the risk of Covid spreading? What are the rates like in your area? Has there been much Covid within the school? Without knowing these things it’s difficult to comment. I know most schools would be looking at a range of information when making these decisions. Not saying all schools are perfect but most really do want what’s best for the children. They just have to weigh up lots of different things.