Feel stuck and paralysed

[Nimchinge]

Did you ever go through a stage where you felt like this in life? Frozen by indecision and inaction and unable to identify what you want? How did you become unstuck? Any books I can read about getting out of a mental rut?

I feel like I've had the same issues for the past two years but cant decide which fork in the road to take and end up on the emotional treadmill.

Can you tell us the decisions you've got to choose between? I had a huge decision to make and I kept trying to scientifically work out which was the best option but I realised I couldn't because there were too many variables involved.

So I looked at the choices again and at the scariest one...and said "That's an opportunity I won't get again, it's the scary choice and yes, things could go wrong but at least I'll have tried"

And I made it. I made the choice and 6 years later have no regrets at all.

@FortunesFave
Thats very encouraging. Sometimes maybe we get caught up in making the "right" or "wrong" decisions when actually they are just "different" decisions.

My issue is I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now, lived together for 5, and he's a wonderful person. I love him. But we want completely different things from life with no way of compromising really. I just can't bear to walk away but the alternative is feeling like I'm living the wrong life :(

Your new life could be 1000% better

But you will never know

You have to be brave & make the change !

Why compromise?

It's your life, live it exactly how YOU want to

You don't want to be old & sit there saying, I wish I had done X, Y, Z

Agree with pp! And yes absolutely , no right or wrong decisions. You make the best decision at the time where each decision has pros and cons.

In relation to your particular situation - life is too short to wonder.

Tbh I'm a believer in doing things when you are ready .
You can do things to help you be ready , like research , reaching out and making contact with the right people and putting a plan in place .
Whinging and doing nothing is not an option but sometimes action before you are ready can be a mistake

You can't make any decision without a loss, the loss of the possibility you didn't choose.

I think sometimes this is a frightening prospect and you feel you can't manage the loss. So you can't go forward.

OP I was in the same situation in my late 20s and I remember that feeling of paralysis.

One night we went out and I had to actually go to the toilets to cry a bit because I felt like everything was just wrong, when we got home that night I broke up with him. It was awful for a while but honestly it was the best thing I ever did. I was able to create the life I wanted to have, and ended up with an amazing husband and family, my ex married a lovely lady too.

So I guess I'm biased but I would say that you probably know what you need to do, you just don't want to do it. But the longer you wait, the worse it will get.

Okay so I just burst in to tears because I feel exactly like this at the minute.

I love my boyfriend - he is my soul mate and we are so happy together. But he is desperate for children, I have always been apathetic or on the fence about having children.

We've been together for 8 years, are engaged and have an otherwise very happy life together. But I've become quite withdrawn and sad lately because I'm just not sure I want kids. I can't be 100% sure, but the thought feels like a life sentence. I cry over the thought. But what if I regret NOT having them when I'm older? I'm very conflicted.

Like you OP I sometimes feel I am living the wrong life. Please message me if you want to rant further.