Telling friend I'm engaged whilst her Dad is in hospital

[bestwisheskindregards]

AIBU to tell one of my best friends about my recent engagement whilst she's at home with her family as her Dad is in ICU with Covid?

We work together and if I hold off telling her, I'll have to hold off telling other friends from work as I'd feel bad her finding out on the grapevine as she's a really close friend. I don't mind not telling friends from work straight away, I'm not one for a big fuss anyway, but I also don't know how long her Dad will be poorly or if it may get worse yet. It feels like awful timing and I really don't want to feel like I'm parading my happiness whilst she's going through such a hard time but I don't know what to do?

Any thoughts?

I’d tell her, but play it down and move the conversation back to her and how she’s coping. As long as you aren’t expecting her to get all excited and start talking wedding plans, it will be fine.

@Pinkbrush

Tell her, but don’t make a big deal out if it, e.g. “hey X, how’s your dad doing today? Obviously this isn’t important given everything going on, but I just wanted to let you know i got engaged, I just didn’t want you hearing from other people. Thinking of you and your family”.

She might also welcome being distracted from everything even for a few mins. I hope her dad pulls through!

Perfect.

Congratulations OP

@Pinkbrush

Tell her, but don’t make a big deal out if it, e.g. “hey X, how’s your dad doing today? Obviously this isn’t important given everything going on, but I just wanted to let you know i got engaged, I just didn’t want you hearing from other people. Thinking of you and your family”.

She might also welcome being distracted from everything even for a few mins. I hope her dad pulls through!

I think this is perfect and would be really happy to receive a message like this.

Putting her first. Asking about her dad. Letting her know you're not really expecting a response but just want to let her know first-hand rather than getting it from someone else.

Lovely tone and ideal.

As PPs said - she may welcome the distraction and she can jump on this if she wants to. But equally if she's not in the right place it's not demanding.

Maybe try messaging her and asking how she is doing, how's her dad, etc. If she isn't up to chatting or not replying, then I would wait a bit.