My DF's ex-wife...of 30+ years (also my estranged mother) has been sectioned four times this year. Her diagnosis is non-organic psychosis, which she completely denies. She is due to be discharged after approx two months in hospital for this latest section period. Her landlord gave her notice to quit following a previous section when the police had to break down the door because she wouldn't talk to the mental health team and just kept telling them there was nothing wrong her (she was accusing people of trying to murder her and police etc were heavily involved, all unfounded and just part of her psychosis).
My mother disowned me about six years over something and nothing. She assumed I would be there to do everything she asked/demanded of me. One day I said I wasn't going to do something (she never asked, just assumed) and all hell broke loose. Complete over reaction on her part. Didn't speak to me after that. Hey ho, our lives are better for not having a manipulative person in our family.
I've now found out that they are looking to discharge her to my DF's house. She was "dumped" there a year ago by her sister who told my DF that she had nowhere else to go, despite having paid six months upfront for a lovely flat. When she was previously at DF's house, about a month before she was first sectioned, she caused all sorts of problems, which went completely over my DF's head. Example going out with scissors to slash tyres. DF just said "she's no harm". Don't get me started on the screwdriver in her shopping bag or carrying a hammer up the street! My sister would be ringing me every few days panicking about mother's behaviour and concerned about our DF during this three week stay. DF did worry every time she went out, which she did a lot due to delusions/voices in her head. Even at that time he seemed to choose to ignore the issues and the trouble her behaviour caused and just said "she was fine". He's always held a torch for her, no matter how badly she has used and abused him and just sees her through rose-tinted spectacles.
My worry is that we are going to end up in the same situation as last year if she moves in with him. DF now has a diagnosis of mixed dementia and I'm concerned that the stress and worry he had a year ago when she was there, which he chose to overlook, will not help his health and wellbeing. My sister wants her to move in but hasn't to my knowledge told mother that DF has dementia. Think she believes they can "look after one another" which would some responsibility away from her. My relationship with sister is now strained, possibly broken. I think she is having/has had some kind of breakdown. Been trying to support her through all this for last three years but now she is acting really strange, like Jekyll and Hyde type behaviour, and echoes of mother's paranoia.
So long story, sorry, but wanted to give background. My question is, AIBU for not wanting her to move in as I think it will just cause loads of trouble, certainly in the long run. As previously it is me and my DH who have had to deal with things when the proverbial has hit the fan. Should I just wait and see what happens? Don't want to be dragged into it at all as it did affect mine and DH's wellbeing/stress levels. Feel that if the three of them want this to go ahead then they can deal with the consequences.