Not wanting to give money at Christmas anymore?

[ginjenny]

I have a really good friend (40 years friendship) who has 2 girls (12 and 15), every year I have given the girls money for xmas and birthdays. It used to be gifts but as they got older it was money!

Unfortunately not once have I ever received a thank you! Not even a text! Nothing even mentioned when we see the family just after xmas either! Money is really tight for us at the moment and I really want to stop giving the money now! AIBU?

I would send a message telling your friend that you’re stopping gifts this year. I stopped with nieces and nephews because I didn’t even get an acknowledgement that it had arrived when I used to send it through the post (years ago) to a foreign country. If ever I asked, it had always arrived.

Stop! If they don't thank you that is really really rude. Do they get you anything? Not that you give to receive but if they don't get you anything they can't moan that you didn't give anything this year.

My girls are 14 and almost 11. I'd be mortified if they didn't thank someone for a gift!

just stop - you would naturally as they get older any way.

if they can't be arsed to say thanl you, you don't owe them any forewarning or explanation.
(you don't mention it, so I assume that your friend doesn;t give you gifts in return)

No, we don't do xmas gifts, but us two do give small birthday gifts to each other - chocs, plant etc!

For xmas, it used to be £10 each daughter, then I dropped it to £5 last year!

Just stick with small gifts between the two of you, forget cash to the daughters.

I used to always give gifts for a friends first grandaughter, she'd give effusive thank yous, but never anything from the GD or her parents - friend has moved away. so haven't seen child in about 7+ year, plus there's pther grandchildren now. Lockdown and not visiting friend has been the perfect opportunity to drop the gifts for GD.

Just stop, and don’t even mention it

Hi op yes thats rude of them. I cut back alot 8 kids buy for nieces nephews. Just constant spending.. and no fuss of my kids!!

Thank you all! It's made up my mind now 100%! No more money at xmas! And I won't even mention it!

Yeah it's fine to just stop doing it.

@ginjenny

Thank you all! It's made up my mind now 100%! No more money at xmas! And I won't even mention it!

And do report back if you get an aggrieved 'where is the money' message after. I'm sure we can help you word a suitable reply!