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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to get 18m old DC second hand toys for Christmas?

85 replies

NC4THISS · 28/11/2021 07:39

For the price of one new item, we can totally overhaul the play area with many many new things that are in great condition, already put together and have a lesser impact on the environment.

DH seems to think it’s a bit off since we could afford to get all these items new, but I don’t think spending hundreds on a bloody toddler is a great idea when things can be found for a fraction of the price. My thoughts are they’ll never know it’s second hand, just play with it and then I’ll sell it on/give it away in the future.

For context I also buy myself second hand things if they’re in great condition too, shoes/bags/clothes/phone/car.

OP posts:

fabulous01 · 28/11/2021 08:01

Absolutely.

Save the money for things that will be needed in the future

saveourtrees · 28/11/2021 08:02

We just finished Christmas shopping. Entirely second hand for our children. New clothes, a new dolls house, a new doll, new books, stocking fillers. Almost everything was second hand except couple of things my DH picked up. We are even going to make cookies instead of buying tubs of sweets.
I even pushed the boat out and got my siblings some second hand branded clothes. I could afford 2 nice expensive shirts, brand spanking new for 6 pounds each. I would usually be spending 20 on one thing for them but only spent 12 and they get double. It makes sense and that means I can afford to buy my parents something nicer. Maybe something for the garden.

Belledan1 · 28/11/2021 08:04

I did with my dc at that age. A friend who had an older child was selling lots of stuff and let me have it dirt cheap.

Caspianberg · 28/11/2021 08:05

Of course. Mil just sent Ds a pile of English books over. All charity shop. There’s about 40 of them and she said all 10p-50p from charity shop. She’s been picking them up all year. They are paperback so he’s a bit young yet, but perfect for next year. Would have cost hundreds new.
We we keep, read and few years, then pass on to someone else

Rosebud100 · 28/11/2021 08:06

I buy second hand toys and clothes for my 1 and 3 year old and some of their Xmas presents are second hand. There are some great bargains, so many toys are as good as new and much better for the environment too.

rumblypumbly · 28/11/2021 08:08

We've gone down the second hand route this year. It started when someone was giving away a huge toy bundle on facebook for free - that basically sorted dd who is only going to be 7m at Christmas. There was a few things suitable for ds who is 4 too. I cleaned it all up and its good as new.
That started me thinking we dont need to buy new, especially when money is tight this year being on mat leave. I also got ds4 main present on FB 2nd hand for £30 instead of £65.

Dont get me wrong we have bought some stuff new but only with vouchers/on sale. But mostly Fb, scouring charity shops and our local 2nd hand toy store which we discovered recently. My older ds who is 8 is harder to buy second hand for as he wants specific hot wheels sets but we got a set in b&m 2 for £20 sale and then another big one in tesco toy sale £17.50 from £30. Hes also asked for Pokemon stuff and again ive found a few second hand bits but had to buy some new.

Ebay is fab as well. I got my neice a limited edition care bear cheap off of there.

Second hand is great, better for the environment too. My kids know some of our stuff is pre loved and dont care. Infact ds8 is all for it as they have been learning about climate change/environment at school. Your lo will love whatever you do OP.

endingintiers · 28/11/2021 08:10

As they get older they tend to ask for specific things for Christmas which are harder to find second hand. I still buy them 2nd hand toys, books and clothes throughout the year but Xmas and birthdays I buy new now. Make the most of being able to reduce costs and reduce environmental footprint!

Camomila · 28/11/2021 08:12

DS2 (22m) biggest Christmas present is 2nd hand this year - a happy land train set and extra people. I could afford a new one but I feel guilty buying big plastic things new.

I would make the most of as it's harder buying stuff second hand when they are older - DS1 (5) wouldn't mind about the "newness" aspect but I'm a bit wary of getting big lego etc. second hand in case a tiny bit is missing/it doesn't work properly.

toolazytothinkofausername · 28/11/2021 08:13

Plastic and wooden toys: second hand is fine.

Soft toys: new is better.

venusmay · 28/11/2021 08:13

Yes do it. I've spent a lit of money on dcs gifts brand new but I will also be buying some charity shop toys because I think uts economical and secondhand is perfectly fine.

BergamotMouse · 28/11/2021 08:16

Absolutely. That's my plan for my 5 and 3 year old. They don't know the difference. I've been selling stuff on vinted and then use my balance to buy toys and clothes. Planning a mostly free Xmas for the kids (it helps that they don't ask for anything specific yet)

AuntieMarys · 28/11/2021 08:17

Dh has got his granddaughter a fantastic second hand wooden dolls house with all wooden furniture/ dolls for £20.
Yes he could afford to buy new...but why would you?

DanceToTheMusicInMyHead · 28/11/2021 08:19

I've done this loads, especially when younger. I have also wrapped up stuff that the eldest has grown out of as presents for the youngest (though haven't got away with that for a while as they both remember the toys). My mum is always horrified

PumpkinPie2016 · 28/11/2021 08:22

Not unreasonable at all when my son was about 3, he was obsessed with Thomas the Tank and had been bought one of those little die cast trains by my parents. They were between £7-£12 each

He wanted more trains/track for Christmas but buying new would have cost a bomb.

I bought a big box full if 2nd hand trains/track/Tidmouth sheds/iron works for £40 from a lady on ebay whose child had finished with it. It was in perfect condition and my son was delighted with it.

He has had hours of play out of it and even now, at just turned 8, he still plays with it.

I will definitely be passing it on to someone when he is finished with it.

rumblypumbly · 28/11/2021 08:23

I just wanted to add that we sell our stuff on too or give to charity shops and when we buy something second hand or sell/donate something we just say to the kids - someone else has loved this toy/book/jumper before you. Or someone else can love it/use it now. Its the best way ive found to get them used to the idea that things are still good even if they aren't brand new.

Mol1628 · 28/11/2021 08:24

Absolutely second hand is brilliant.

For our youngest first Christmas he was 10 months old we wrapped his brothers old toys up for him! His brother didn’t remember his baby toys and the baby didn’t care he just enjoyed ripping the paper off stuff.

It is harder now they’re older but as long as things are clean in good condition I really don’t see the problem.

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/11/2021 08:25

Not unreasonable at all. Bought second hand for ours and our grandchild is playing with some of it now.

softblueface · 28/11/2021 08:27

I have seen some brilliant things on fb and gumtree but whenever I message someone has always got there before me
We always sell or give away toys on there though so I feel like we are doing our bit. We have a friend who whenever her kids are done with something they just chuck it! I said please just give it to me and I’ll clean it up and donate it, the thought of all that plastic (as well as it being decent stuff) made me feel sick.

softblueface · 28/11/2021 08:27

*all that plastic going into landfill

Moonlaserbearwolf · 28/11/2021 08:29

Agree with you!
My children have had all sorts of second hand toys and clothes over the years. It's saved me a fortune and I pass them on to others afterwards. I like the environmental impact too. On occasion it's also meant my children got a bigger toy that they would have done - I remember one year finding a hideous (!) plastic Disney castle on eBay for a few pounds - it was £150 in the shops and I would never have paid that for it.

Blurp · 28/11/2021 08:29

Do it. It's so much cheaper, and better for the environment. Maybe put the money you save into your child's bank account for the future - once DH sees it build up, he might change his tune about secondhand.

Also, if you start young, they get used to the idea - they don't expect toys to come in boxes and they don't question a few scuff marks ("Santa must have had trouble getting it down the chimney!"). We still get secondhand stuff for DS, who's 7.

EmeraldShamrock · 28/11/2021 08:29

It is a good idea, DD toys were in excellent condition at that age.
If you want to balance out any concerns DH has, donate treats to the food hampers for people less fortunate at the inner city or local food bank, it is a win win.

OCM19 · 28/11/2021 08:32

Totally agree with you OP, we’ve bought all of our DC’s presents second hand (apart from his main present as it was in the Black Friday sale and we waited for it). Things like books, toys, puzzles etc. Why would you buy new when you can save and re-home! Great idea. X

Fizbosshoes · 28/11/2021 08:34

I've bought lots of stuff for my DC second hand, even when they are tween/teen.
When they were younger I got hotwheels and sylvanian stuff second hand.
DDs first laptop was £60 from Facebook- it lasted her 3 or 4 years and i wouldn't have afforded her brand new at that stage in our lives. DS first xbox, and 3 of their last 4 phones were all second hand. DD (15) is a big fan of charity shops, boot fairs and the depop website. DH is far less likely to buy second hand stuff but I think that's because it sometimes requires more effort to find

Morvensea · 28/11/2021 08:34

Fine.

Why ‘a bloody toddler’ though?

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