My son has changed over the past year or so. He used to be so happy, funny and cheery. Now he's sullen, cheeky and seems depressed.
I could understand it if he was nearing the teenage years but he's only 8, he's 9 in January.
I've noticed this over the past few months but it's come to a head very recently. He's said for a long while he doesn't like school, although he does well and always gets brilliant report cards and glowing reports at parents' evenings.
He has 2 after school activities that has him out twice during the week after school and once over the weekend. He enjoys these and (mostly) wants to go.
He eats well and enjoys physical activity. He also watches too much youtube and plays video games a lot. He doesn't play with toys but reads a lot at bedtime.
He often complains of minor ailments, he's always got something wrong - sore leg, stomach, head etc. There's always some physical complaint but I can never find any actual issue.
He mentioned recently that he wishes he was never born, obviously I was concerned but then hoped that he doesn't apply the same meaning at his age as to what adults would think about saying those same words. But then, this evening, he told me more about his feelings and it has got me very worried.
I'm not sure where to go next. The doctor? School? Both? He won't tell me what's bothering him. He can't seem to put it into words, or he's too scared to tell me.
I've asked lots of (what I deem non-threatening questions) about where the issue has arisen i.e. school, his activities, home, etc. I've made it as clear as I can that I love him no matter what and I will do everything I can to make things better for him, and about the kind of secrets he can tell me. I've re-iterated that he will not get into trouble at all but he won't tell me anything about where the issue has come from.
I'm not a perfect parent and this past year has been extremely difficult, for me personally, and due to close family's ill health that has taken up a lot of my time. But this started before that and is getting worse.
He has a younger brother who is doing great and as expected for his age, and I'm married to his Dad so we're a "traditional" family unit.
Depression runs in my family, and my husband's, so that is a concern. I was also diagnosed with a neurological condition earlier this year that could hereditary.
My parents either missed, or ignored, my mental health issues growing up and I am determined not to do the same with my son.
I'm concerned about flagging it to the doctor or school because I recently got my Mum's medical records and they show entries from when she was a toddler, up to now, so I'm concerned about this being on his medical files. However, his wellbeing trumps everything.
Does anyone have any advice? Doctors visit next?