Mean girls

[YodaBabe]

Aibu - Yeap already know I am but

Dds BFF (both 15/16)moved last year many hours away and they have kept in touch mostly dd enquiring how new life/school is going. Generally dd wants to support and encourage friend to make friends and do her best in exams (year 11). Friend has definitely leaned on dd for support.

Bff came back to the area this weekend (1st time since move) they couldn't meet Friday as dd had pre organised event.
Today dd has waited until bff visited family etc to meet up, missing out on mutual friend meet up only to be told bff is tired maybe tomorrow.
Pictures have now appeared on social media of bff meeting up with mutual friends and dd being left out.
Dd is is really upset not only did the mutual friends meet up with BFF and not her, but BFF lied.

Aibu for wanting to weigh in and tell BFF she's a shite friend?

Stay out of her friendship dynamics. Your job is to navigate your DDs feelings, not get involved.

It won't do your DD any favours.

@MollysDolly absolutely agree
When did girls get so mean? I just don't remember this when I was her age!

Don't get involvrd, just try to distract your dd

I have literally just posted my own thread about mean girls! How depressing that there are so many of them about!!

I wouldn't contact the BFF at all but just support your dd in however she would like to deal with it? Maybe a phone call to the BFF in the morning?

Girls have been mean since the beginning of time....it is not a new phenomenon (although social media exacerbates it).

@Ame133 god it's depressing isn't it.
The want to keep them safe and happy and not having to put up with crap just overwhelming

Ha I was 15 a long time ago and my 'friends' were all complete bitches!

A lot of girl bashing on mumsnet at the minute.

OP your DD sounds lovely, she deserves better. Not all girls are mean. Tell her to concentrate on her friends who actually value her.

Yes, there are lots of loyal and loving girl friends.

You as an adult weighing in and telling a 15yo she is a shit friend would be extremely mean.

Your job is to support your dd by building her up, hopefully she will see that she doesn’t need to give too much of herself to her ‘BFF’ or mutual friends who treat her like this.

I wouldn’t be meeting with ‘BFF’ today if I was dd.

I think I would just say that her BFF has shown her true colours and doesn’t think much of her. Tell her to move on and not dwell on it.

It's not just a girl thing.

Friendship issues and drama have always been a problem and will always be a problem.

It's not nice but your DD will work it out

The trouble with social media is that your DD has no idea who else this girl has been leaning on for support. Maybe your DD isn't her "bff" any more and the girl just wanted to hang out with others she's gotten closer to. It's shit, it really is. I have an almost 15 year old and we face crap like this all the time. There are times I want to wade in and tell them how shitty they're being but I obviously never do

Your poor dd . Definitely don't contact the friend.

This sort of treatment by a friend at that age, or any age really, can start you to question yourself. We see it a lot here with the 'ghosting' threads. I would just keep telling your dd that she's a lovely caring girl, she has done nothing wrong and that sometimes friendships just run their course. It's sad when it happens but she needs to detach from thinking this girl is her bff and concentrate more on other friends.