AIBU to ask about the Father Christmas promise

[Tworoads]

My little boy is 5 years old. He is fascinated by all kinds of electronic gadgets, teaching himself how to move around a PC, load apps onto a mobile, work a Sat Nav etc. His favourite outing isn't Smyths or The Entertainer - it's Currys! He is also pouring over cars all the time, recognising manufacturers' logos and chatting about cars, cars, cars all the time.
So we come round to the letter to Father Christmas and he decides he wants a ride on Ford Ranger electric car WITH the touch screen radio built in. They are £400-£500!!!! I have found a different Ford electric car without the touch screen for £200 and might possibly stretch to that but it's not what he wants and the other one is out of the question.
He thinks Father Christmas is magical. He has no idea that he is asking for something so expensive - to him £500 might just as well be £5. He's a lovely little lad. Not spoilt but nevertheless, I have a problem.
How do I satisfy him? What would you do to make a little boy's dreams come true without bankrupting myself?

@MockneyReject

I've always told mine that I buy his gifts and 'send them', as in, to Santa. Neither of them ever questioned why I would do that, nor why Santa would bother bringing them back! It makes it easier to manage expectations. They knew some things were just too much money. Obviously, pitched in such a way as not to worry them. "We have enough money for what we need, and some of what we want, but not for that."

Lol my parents did this too and I questioned the logic of it when a little older. But to be honest whatever white lie is told, none of it is logical which is why kids end up working it out as they develop and become more logical. I also saw that other people gave eachother gifts not via Santa which added to the "why would mum and dad send them to Santa to be sent back when they could just give me them? Makes no sense" thing.

My husband and I are not planning on telling our children anything about Santa as though he is real. We are just going to play it as a nice thing we pretend. My sister started this way too and her kids believe anyway as society and friends make it such a big thing. So there havent as yet been any stories about how presents get there or questions but I can imagine that as those start, it becomes harder if you don't want to make up white lies and I presume we will end up saying it's a nice story or what do you think happens etc.

OP if you're doing the Santa thing then I would go with a letter from him or saying yourself that parents send a budget which is why children get different things. It stops the upset over not being nice enough (the bit I hate about the lie).

Santa only brings stocking presents. Small things. Why anyone would let their children think that all the presents under the tree got there magically, so they have no appreciation or thanks for what their parents have done for and spent on them is beyond me!

My DD was a Christmas Elf at a very well known attraction. She would ask the children what they were going to ask Father Christmas for. One little boy told her that he was going to ask for a particular thing that was very expensive. DD saw the parents slightly anxious faces and said " oh (boy's name), that would be lovely but it takes a long time to make and there are a lot of children wanting that. If we had to make them for all the boys and girls who ask for it we would not be able to be ready in time for Christmas, so Santa has told us that it would be better not to make it so everybody is able to have presents delivered at Christmas. If you ask for it please don't be upset if you don't get it but we will make something that you will like".

I have a different way of doing Santa - I say that he works with families in different ways because we still buy the presents from him but he provides the stockings. Money is still relevant.

I’ve always gone with ‘Santa = stockings, the rest is from family’ for US - other families do it differently.

Works for us and I can comfortably say ‘too expensive’ without messing anything up.

FC gets one gift of equal value for all children so something off his list. Rest is mum and dad family etc so no £500 car.

Not RTFT, so at the risk of repeating PP's:

• Santa is only doing stockings from now on. If it doesn't fit in the stocking, he can't bring it.
• Elves don't make electronics because the magic at the North Pole/Lapland messes with electricity.

Santa doesn't do electricals. It's a magic workshop, not PC world.

Or Santa is a subscription service like Netflix. Parents pay what they can afford every year and Santa's gift is based on that amount.

Santa only brings small presents. Mommy has a budget. You say £500 might as well be £5 but at 5 he should understand that 500 is bigger than 5 by a LOT and that the presents can only come to 100 (or whatever)

I’m loving your FC traditions. All very special.
Big breakthrough here. DS has decided to ask Santa for a chocolate lolly kit (under £20) instead of the car! Yayyyyy
Best of all the explanation that ALL children need presents hit home and he changed his mind without any further fuss.
The big car idea has been kicked down the road until his birthday in May so phew!
I’m pleased by how much he can comprehend at 5.
Happily it’s snowing and his plan to dig a tunnel under the lawn has been put off

@User5252727

Not helpful to you now, but this is why we've always said FC brings your stocking and your parent get your main presents. It solves issues of expensive requests / disparity among rich and poor children etc.

I guess it's too late for you to introduce this idea now? Could you have a chat about how FC has to give presents to millions of children so it has to be a reasonable request?

I agree. That's what my parents did with us. Stockings were for smaller things, parents bought the big gifts.

Although with my two we don't do FC as real, just as a nice story so they know the stocking is from us as well and they manage their expectations accordingly.

That's great! Good result all round. What a lovely boy

@SequinnedShawl

She still loved the magic of Santa, and believed until she was 10

Of course she did.

I was 11/12!! Can’t remember exactly. Granted it might not happen now what with kids using Google etc, but I absolutely loved the magic of it. You’re still a child at that age and kids are growing up too quick these days.

We just say it is a wish list and FC will choose something he knows that you will love, it's not a lost of demands and you won't get everything as FC has a lot of children to give gifts to.

Why don’t you want a tunnel under your back garden, @Tworoads? FC could bring your son a nice, shiny spade!

It’s easy to be this helpful when it’s not my garden getting excavated!

I'm forever grateful that my eldest child's nursery teacher explained Santa as glorified delivery driver - that parents send money to santa to buy the presents and then they get delivered. She got out on the spot as ds had seen a few adverts where children don't get anything for Christmas and school doing shoe box.

Last year, my 10 year old pretended to believe, for me. And I pretended to believe he believed, for him.
It softened the blow and eased us gently in to this year - where he knows it's all about how many extra shifts I can squeeze in. Reality is harsh! There's all the time in the world for that.

Either: santa doesn't bring electronics or
It too big to fit in the stocking / on the sleigh

@SequinnedShawl

She still loved the magic of Santa, and believed until she was 10

Of course she did.

Some kids do. I did! No need to be mean

@EarringsandLipstick

Don’t most parents say Santa fills stockings and the under tree gifts are from family?

We don't really do the stocking thing in Ireland. There are stockings but no real gifts in them - something tiny plus sweets maybe.

Big gifts are from Santa & under the tree.

Many parents don't buy presents for their DC at all in fact. I do, but they are much smaller than Santa's.

Stockings in this house consisted of an apple, a satsuma, chocolate coins & stuff like stationery.

I didn't give DC presents they came from Santa & were set out on the sofa/armchair (each DC had their spot). Any unreasonable requests were met with a "haha I'm not sure Santa/the elves can make that, you'll just have to wait & see what Santa brings"

Other gifts were from the giver.

I don't like the whole "we send the gifts/money to Santa" thing & think this leads to DC stopping believing earlier. I had to sit DD2 down & tell her Santa wasn't real in primary 7 - she was genuinely gutted!

My answer to this issue is that Santa doesn’t do tech and he can’t do expensive presents as he has to make gifts for every child in the world. My eldest wrote a PlayStation on his Santa list. I had to say the above to him and explain that presents like that come from mummy and daddy and whilst I may consider it down the line it certainly wouldn’t be until he is older (and also said it comes with the caveat of needing to be more proactive with his school work). Another electronic device in the house when he already refuses to do his homework without a huge fuss is an NO NO.

What a pity there isn’t a Father Christmas. Think he would bring something different to DH 😊. I agree with letting the magic last for as long as possible. For me I’d say something before the transition to high school though but that’s just me.

Could you explain that...

Ford has announced a recall of more than 47,000 Ranger SuperCab pickups from the 2019 through 2021 model years because the front passenger outboard seat belt might not have been assembled properly. This could lead to the belt being misrouted and failing to secure the passenger in the event of a crash.

... and it's the elves fault for failing to do proper Quality Control checks.

@mnahmnah

We’ve always done it so that the big main present is from us. Santa just brings a sack full of smaller things, whatever we can fit in it basically. Which limits how much Santa ‘spends’. Because, you know, he has to fit it all in his sleigh. Space is limited. We also say the Santa letter is suggestions and they don’t just get whatever they want. It depends what Santa can get then. It also means they understand that the big present is from us, so can’t just demand whatever they want.

This is how we do it too. The letter to Santa lets him know the sorts of things you'd like, you won't get all of them, and you'll get some surprises as well. We usually include quite traditional toys / games in the stocking/sack as that's what the elves make in their workshop. Santa is also a practical man who understands the value of a nice new pair of slippers at Xmas as well!

(Also because I want the credit / gratitude for the main presents, tbh!)

Just seen your update; your ds sounds like a lovely little boy @Tworoads.