Neurosurgery

[S1205]

I'm new to Mumsnet so I apologise if I have posted this in the wrong category.

I was diagnosed with a brain tumour last year after a number of seizures, the last of which ended in an overnight stay in hospital.

I am having an elective craniotomy next week and I am absolutely terrified. Not much scares me but I've never felt fear like this in my life.

It may be relevant to note that I have a 2 year old DD who understands that Mummy is having surgery on her head.

My question is, AIBU in terms of this anxiety regarding the surgery? I'm so worried that something is going to go wrong. My biggest fear is leaving my DD without her mother. It consumes my every thought.

Ironically, I am really hoping that everyone tells me I am being unreasonable and that I need to get a grip lol.

Either way, any and all advice would be very much appreciated.

Sorry for the long post.

@S1205 Of course you're worried and that's perfectly normal. I also had a craniotomy in January and I have another one next week. It's terrifying. I get that. I have 3DC all under 10. But what has helped me is remembering that my neurosurgeon knows his stuff. It's not the milkman or my solicitor (both if whom are brilliant at their own jobs!) operating on me. It's someone who has done this hundreds if not thousands of times before. I'll be thinking of you x

@JustHavinABreak thank you so much for your reply. You have had one and you're due to have another one soon too? Wow, you are so brave. And with 3 DC under 10? Wow. Perspective. That's exactly what I needed. Yes of course, I've been telling myself that a thousand times a day. I've even looked up the name of the neurosurgeon online and his reviews 🤦‍♀️ I seriously need to get a grip. Thank you again for sharing your experience, I feel a bit better already.

Totally reasonable to feel like this.

However... this is a routine procedure for your surgeon and team. They wont be at ho.e worrying about it, because they've done it dozens of times before. I think you might just need to accept you are going to be scared. Slow, deep breaths. Try picturing your surgeon right now - having a cup if tea or watching tv. They arent panicking because there's no reading or need.

You've got this.

Reading = reason

I had a craniotomy almost 20 years ago. The recovery was not nice but not awful. I was out of hospital within 3 days. The feeling in my legs took a while to come back and that was scary but it did. My brain had a fog for a while where I struggled to form coherent thoughts but that resolved within weeks. You'll be okay OP, of course it's scary but you will be okay!

You have all my sympathies. What a huge thing to be facing.

You asked whether AIBU was the appropriate place to have posted. Traditionally it's the bear pit of Mumsnet where you have to be super resilient to face up to the very frank replies that will come your way. On this occasion I cannot imagine anyone is going to come at you with both barrel, and if it's 'traffic' you're after - in terms of a decent number of replies - then AIBU is one of the better-read topics. But you would also get a decent number of responses in the health boards too and can ask MNHQ to move it.

Best wishes for next week - you will certainly be in specialist hands. I found that once I had had children, having any kind of general anaesthetic was scarier it had been previously. Brain surgeons are brilliant practitioners and the whole field has made huge advances with more sophisticated scans and treatments.

Feel for you, OP, but echo who others have said here. DP had a tumour removed earlier in the year and is tip top now. His surgeon was very matter of fact but as far as the op went, they took no chances and it was all managed very quickly. The after care was a bit patchy and he was quite dozy for a month or so, so try to make sure you have someone completely on board with that, medication, dressings, stitches etc. best of luck to you x

Sending lots of hugs to you.
Not me but my son (14) had a craniotomy earlier this year.
Brain surgeons are amazing people, and these sort of things are routine to them.
My son's recovery was quick, and he is absolutely fine now.
Wishing you all the best.

Thank you all for reducing me to tears lol. All I needed was some advice, sharing of similar experiences, etc. And you've given me that and then some. Thank you a million ❤️

Oh and yes, to the person who mentioned that AIBU may not be the correct category/thread to have posted in, thank you and my apologies! I'm still learning how things work around here. But yes, you're correct, I'm looking for advice regarding this particular issue as opposed to finding out if I'm being unreasonable lol.

So if MN Admin see this and could please move it to the right place, that would be great!

Thank you again to everyone, you are all so brave, honest and kind.

Hi op. I haven’t had a craniotomy but I have had a few brain operations.
Neurosurgeons are very good at what they do. It was pre kids when I had my surgeries but I can understand the fear now. I was terrified just for a planned section so totally empathise with your fear here but honestly I have never been as well looked after than I was by the neurosurgery team.
Take your time with recovery and trust your doctors.