AIBU to think what an over reaction to my question

[Element4056]

My mum rang me today and whilst on the phone she mentioned my brother was down from London. I asked her oh how many days is he down for? She nearly bit my head off! Saying he's only just arrived. She must have put me on speaker phone as my brother in a really annoyed voice shouted I'm only here for two days. I've only just arrived and I never stay long.

I was really surprised at their reaction. I thought this was a completely normal question to ask. I only asked how long is he down for!! Mostly so I can plan to come down with my son as he usually always says how much he wants to see him.

AIBU to think they both completely over reacted to my question or did I say something wrong? I simply just wanted to know how long he would be at my mums for so I can plan to see him!

That’s a very strange reaction to a very normal question, ask them to explain why they think it warranted having your head bitten off.

Massive overreaction! Does your mum think the sun shines out of your brothers arse therefore making him the favourite child?
My mum is this defensive and snappy over a simple question and you're never allowed to question my brother

They don’t want you to visit whilst he’s there

I have no idea why they both reacted the way they did, which made me question if I said something wrong!
The conversation went to an awkward quietness/silence and then my mum just said a rushed bye.
I must admit I was defensive and said I was simply asking how many days are you down for. It made the conversation really awkward.

@MeetMeAtOurSpot
My mum rang this morning to make sure I would be bringing my son down tomorrow as she is obsessed with him and loves having him and if I am unable to drive down she would would sending my Dad to collect us.
She even jokes she won't be letting us go home and wants us to stay for a few nights.

It's a very strange reaction unless you have a history of complaining about how long he stays when he visits. 🤷‍♀️ I really don't know it's just weird.

Do you think your mum had asked your DB already how long he was staying? If he’s gotten irritated with her asking and then you asked too, maybe she was trying to head you off to stop it annoying him? Hence it coming across as abrupt??

@MeetMeAtOurSpot

They don’t want you to visit whilst he’s there

That was my first thought too. Can't think what else it could be.

I’m guessing there is a back story here

No back story as far as I'm aware- thinking about it previous posters are probably right in that my brother probably was already irritated with questions on how many days he is planning to stop by for.
If there is a back story I suppose it could be that my brother doesn't enjoy long visits at my mums as he finds he gets bored quite easily with not much to keep him occupied and the house can be quite messy which he is usually quite vocal about. The mess does put him off staying!

If he doesn't like staying long could you have inadvertently landed in the middle of a tense discussion he was having with your mum about how he never stays long enough?

A massive over reaction on their part. I'd assume they didn't want you both visiting at the same time, although that's at odds with your mum wanting to see your soon.

@MisgenderedSwan this does sound likely! I know my mum does wish he would visit more often and for longer periods of time. It seems a sensitive subject! Wish I didn't bother asking now.

Personally I wouldn’t go and visit him at your mums… why doesn’t he make the effort to come to your house while he’s there?

I think @MisgenderedSwan has hit the nail on the head.

This isn’t about you. Take no notice.