To think dh needs to be take over sometimes?

[littleducks]

I am pregnant, this week i have been so tired i cant believe i havent keeled over yet.

DD is 19 months, she was a terrible sleeper up to 13 months or so, well not terrible she just didnt sleep and didnt seem to ever be tired either. I now routinuely exhaust her and have worked hard to establish one nap a day about 11 and a bedtime (supposed to be 7.30).

I had managed to get her sleeping in her own room and going to sleep without a fuss only coming to our bed about 5 am a few weeks ago. Then im not sure exactly why, (bad memory) dh put her to sleep with us a few times then she started to want to sleep in the bed so for a quiet life i just let it slide for a week or two (bad, bad mummy).

Dh has been getting frustrated at lack of space, slept on a mattress on the floor and has been whinging. I was going to start properly sleep training her at some point but have been too tired. Last night dh told dd she was sleeping in her room so i put her to bed there. I then put her back at in bed 4 or 5 times, not bad for first night i felt as she didnt make a fuss. Dh went once as she specifically called him and he had just got in bed abut 2 am. All other times he didnt wake up.

So when she got up at 7.30 i thought he might let me sleep for an hour, but no he is too tired and just says i should sleep on sofa while dd watches tv (i cant do this, he does and today that would have been ok). Where can i get the strenght to keep returning her to her room on no sleep? The reason she ends up with us is because im too tired to return her to her room.

Apologies for the rant, it is too long really!

ooh, maybe IABU then!

I have been through this exact problem with dc1. It caused many arguments between me and dh.
You have to work on a plan that involves a consistent atitude from both of you- either that or let dh take over the bedroom routine and be consistent himself. You are pregnant and after wearing her out all day this could be a time for you to rest while he gets her to sleep.
I never minded my dc in bed with me but dh does complain about the lack of space. Try to stay calm- for some reason sleep is a v emotive issue-esp with men who lovelovelove their sleep

That's pretty outrageous of him. YANBU! Of course you will lose the will to return her to her room endlessly knowing that you are going to have to be up early as well, despite being pregnant!

I honestly think in situations like this you have to spell it out. Stand over him and say "No, I was up in the night five times and I am pregnant and exhausted and I am getting back into bed".

If he genuinely didn't wake up for the other times I suppose it's possible that he didn't know how many times you were up?

I think you need a plan; tell him that yes, you're prepared to tackle dd's sleep but if he's going to be laying there snoring in the middle of the night while you're up and down, HE takes over in the morning.

youre not being unreasonable. Im sure almost every family with a bad sleeper has this bone of contention to deal with though (we definately do!)

You just need to discuss between you where youre going with it though, some firm rules as to who does what etc so there is no room for resentment / arguing.

dd is in with us atm after a bout of illness so we have decided to take it in turns with sleeping with her and getting up in the morning so at least every other night one of us gets a decent sleep / lie in until we get the little monkey back into her cot!

Hope this gets sorted out for you soon (ps 7.30 would be a fantastic result in this house! dd up at 4.30 this morning!!!!!!)