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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO think that dh might get up early with dd.... just once?

26 replies

dingdongbelgianbunsonhigh · 16/12/2007 08:18

DH does masses around the house and I am forever grateful for it. TBH I feel a bit guilty sometimes.

However - the last time he got up in the morning with dd was on Mother's day.

I went out to a friend's xmas party last night. We were going to get a babysitter but dh didn't really want to go so I went on my own (my old uni friends anyway). Had a fab time but got home at quarter to 2. [yawn]

DD woke up at 6.30 this morning. He brought in to our bed and went back to sleep.... where he remains... and I am thanking GOd for cbeebies.

AIBU to want a weekend lie in? Just once in a while?

OP posts:
clairejo · 16/12/2007 08:25

I sympathise. My dp got up for the first time ever with the boys this morning as the eldest needed his inhaler. then the boys ended up back upstairs so daddy and baby followed and got back into bed.

clairejo · 16/12/2007 08:28

when he gets up can he not take her out for a bit so you can go back to bed

pollyannainexcelsis · 16/12/2007 08:30

I sympathise, - dh did the same this morning. I was up for hours on Friday night with dd3 who is ill, and we agreed that if it happened last night it was dh's turn. When she woke up at 5am, dh decided to bring her into our bed where she lay talking until I gave up and brought her down stairs at 6.

He has just come downstairs (I meanly sent dd3 upstairs )

littleducks · 16/12/2007 08:32

is it one of those days! i just started my own thread complaining about my being up and on here and dh being snuggled up in bed

Original poster
dingdongbelgianbunsonhigh · 16/12/2007 08:33

DH is still up there snoring. But he was awake when she was wriggling in our bed and shouting to go downstairs at 7am ... and he wonders why I'm always too tired for a bit of sexy time...

OP posts:
DontlookatmynoseImRudolph · 16/12/2007 08:38

Have you ever discussed it with him. Dh used to always get both lie-ins at weekends. It was just a pattern we fell into. Anyway one day I realised I'd had enough and we discussed it (ie I told him lol) that from now on I got one day, he got the other. So now I get at least one lie in a week.

HonoriaGlossop · 16/12/2007 08:41

He SHOULD do lots around the house. It's his house! And his family etc. You do lots as well no doubt and lots with your child.....You should appreciate what he does, yes, but you don't need to feel so grateful that you can't feel able to negotiate other things.

Of course you should get a lie in sometimes!

Chat to him about it! Do it today!

RubySlippedonastraymincepie · 16/12/2007 08:44

get a lie in rota going!

every other Saturday either myself or DH has a long lie in

it is non negotiable

and no, YANBU

sarahhal · 16/12/2007 08:50

Oh this is the most common cause of bickering between me and DH!

I get up every morning with DS1 who is up by 6 everyday. DH works from home and is often working late so that is his excuse about why he is so tired in the morning. It's pathetic I have to say to see a grown man so useless in the morning! On the rare ocassion I do boot him out to see to DS he makes such a noise telling him to get back in his bedroom that there's no way I can sleep, plus he usually ends up waking DS2 who sleeps really late!

Grr. Where is he now? Who was ill with a sickness bug yesterday and still not feeling well Not him that's for sure!

manchita · 16/12/2007 08:52

YANBU. For some reason, DH seems to need more sleep than me. If I ever do get a lie in he goes to bed once I wake up. Infuriating!

sarahhal · 16/12/2007 08:54

Oh I know manchita! DH just the same. I try telling him that I have been tired for the last two years but just get on with it, but somehow his tiredness is worse

manchita · 16/12/2007 09:03

Do you think they actually need more sleep than

yuckihatecheesestrings · 16/12/2007 09:13

Your DH is totally out of order, esp as you were out last night and he wasn't. Why should it always be us mummies who make the sacrifices. I would go and wake him up now.

We have issues with this too (he is upstairs snoring as i write). It's amazing what he'll sleep through ...WW3 could be breaking out in the living room and he wouldn't notice.

yama · 16/12/2007 09:15

I always believed that women needed more sleep.

My dp gets up with dd every morning - I get an extra 10 minutes during the week and about 30 minutes at the weekend.

I felt guilty this morning and so told him to stay in bed.

yama · 16/12/2007 09:16

So no, UNBU.

yama · 16/12/2007 09:17

Clearly that should be YNBU (bloody early rises).

jetson · 16/12/2007 09:18

Why does it seem to be the norm that the Mums get up for the kids and not the Dads? I can't understand it. Men seem to try and get away with as much as they can so unfortunately it seems we have to set the boundaries of what they can and can't get away with. So if Mums are getting up every day for the kids, then they're showing their hubbys that they needn't bother gettin up. I don't expect any hubby (or maybe some lovely ones) are going to volunteer to get up for the kids, so it's up to Mums to lay it on the line, fair's fair and all that. If he makes so much bloody noise getting them up and bashing about and grumbling then bloody well tell him to shut up so you can sleep! Why is it such double standards?! Me and DH take turns getting up for our two year old; how can any hubby argue that that isn't fair and just? If he says he's too tierd, well bloody hell you're probably "too tierd" as well" so where's the excuse in that? DH used to leave our bedroom door open when he went to get DS up so i had to lie there and listen to all their bickering and crashing about in the kitchen, hardly a relaxing lie in, but I either used to get up and slam the bedroom door shut then jump back into bed or yell at him to do it. We can't expect them to be thoughtful of other people as much as we are of them ; it sounds terribly prejudice but I'm afraid I think it's actually true that women think of others and how to make their lives easier and men don't ever do that unless it's demonstarted to them that they have to. They often are quite willing and enjoy doing it once it's spelled out to them though. I think my DH feels all smug and proud that he does his bit with DS. Spell it out for him! They only get away with what we allow them to get away with.

WhenScoobyGotStuckUpTheChimney · 16/12/2007 09:19

We rotate, i normally have a lie in on a sunday but i had mine sat this week as i was shattered, dp is now lieing in this morning.

However if one of us goes out on a night out the other gets up the next morning.

Think you should talk to your Dh & sort something out as it is not really fair.

justaboutintimeforchristmas · 16/12/2007 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coldtits · 16/12/2007 09:23

So, have you actually said "Tomorrow, you are getting up with ds. I am not getting up no matter how much noise you make, even if I am awake. I am staying in bed until 11 am, and if you endeavor to make me get up, then I shall return the favour next time you want to lay in."

You need to be blunt.

systemsaddict · 16/12/2007 09:26

YANBU - mine the same (though doesn't do much around the house either, so count your blessings!), he has never got up in the morning with ds - who has this week been waking up crying at 5.30, probably teeth. Today I gave up trying to settle ds and took him into bed - eventally after a couple of hours whimpering and some Calpol he went to sleep in daddy's arms and there they both stay, exhausted - I guess if the only way of getting dp to do looking after in the mornings is to bring ds to him, this is a strategy I will use from now on!

Am having a baby next May though when dp's lie-ins will be severely curtailed, can't bf baby and get toddler up at same time can I? (well, will make sure dp thinks it's physically impossible to manage both anyway )

TrinityTheRedNosedRhino · 16/12/2007 09:28

Yanbu

But I am at your dh doing lots around the house

I would just killl for a lie in.

It has happened twice in 7 years and when I came down all the kids were starving and fighting and unchanged

anniemac · 16/12/2007 09:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
dingdongbelgianbunsonhigh · 16/12/2007 10:09

Think I made myself understood! She was kicking off big time - so I did! He has taken her to the park kicking and screaming. I'm going back to bed!

Bloody wide awake now though eh!!

OP posts:
OhGiveUsAPruniPudding · 16/12/2007 10:17

I went out last night and DH did get up, but then I heard him vomiting (bug I presume) so I had to swap places.
I am most cross!