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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that CM doesn’t use helmets..

153 replies

SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 06:56

My daughter goes to a childminder and goes out on a bike. She is 3.5. She told me she doesn’t wear a helmet! This is a balance bike riding around the street. I always make her wear one with us and as a CM shouldn’t she be even more aware?! I took ours and told her I want her to wear is every time she’s on the bike.. she agreed but didn’t apologise and when they went out the other day (my daughter told me) the other two boys she looks after weren’t wearing them!

I just don’t get why you’d not think it was imperative! If one fell off surely she would be liable! I know she will now make my daughter wear hers but I’m annoyed she didn’t think it was an issue. Am IBU?!

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 26/11/2021 08:41

@cally21

I didn’t know they had be using bikes and when she told me, I took a helmet but wanted to know if she was being unreasonable initially letting all the kids not wear them.

To me this is wrong. You didn't know she was going to be using a bike. I'd have expected the CM to check this out with me first anyway, regardless of helmet situation. How would she know where your little one is up to with using a bike if she doesn't ask you? Seems strange to make that decision without at least a quick chat with a parent. I'd feel the same OP

Nonsense. It's not the childminders fault the OP doesn't know what equipment she has available. When you choose a childcare provider you look around the setting and ask questions around activities and safety, especially if it's your 12th child and you know the drill although I'm assuming that bit was sarcasm from the OP
Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 08:42

@rrhuth thanks for your support! Clearly I’m an overly anxious mother wanting my child not to bang her head Confused

OP posts:
Gliderx · 26/11/2021 08:42

Most people wouldn't be this anxious about a brain injury resulting from falling off a balance bike.

Is my child the only child who can ride these things very, very fast then Confused? Because I worry about this and I'm not particularly anxious. If a small child crashed head-first into a metal fence at running speed or faster, I don't think it would be unreasonable to worry about potential head injuries.

4amstarts · 26/11/2021 08:43

I agree with you OP I'd be really annoyed.

All she has to do is say she wants to take them out on bikes and could you send a helmet - she should ask permission first really

(I found out my CM was taking my 4 year old out in the car with no car seat)

Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 08:44

@girlmom21 oh come on… I must look at all equipment being used and check she’s making them wear helmets?

Yes I was clearly being sarcastic about it being my 12th child… because for some reason we only care about our precious first borns and then don’t give a shit!

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 26/11/2021 08:45

I couldn't get worked up about this for a child on a balance bike on a pavement/playground. Do you make them wear head protection on a climbing frame or when they are running? Or any of the other multiple activities where they could fall/ bang their heads?
My DS was brought up to wear a helmet at all times once he was riding a pedal bike on the road including in our quiet cul de sac. I also insisted that my DH wore a helmet from then on too (cycle helmets didn't exist when we learnt to ride bikes). None of us go out without a helmet and hi viz clothing now but I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a toddler on a balance bike without one.

rrhuth · 26/11/2021 08:45

[quote SarahJeffers341]@rrhuth thanks for your support! Clearly I’m an overly anxious mother wanting my child not to bang her head Confused[/quote]
Oh it is just reactionary types, they say everyone is anxious. You have to ignore them on your own thread or you waste time as they derail everything.

It is quite often because they have a problem processing/managing worry which they deal with by telling themselves there is nothing to worry about!

MindyStClaire · 26/11/2021 08:46

My 3.5 year old isn't particularly athletic or fast at running but she can go bloody fast on a balance bike, especially downhill.

Livelovebehappy · 26/11/2021 08:47

Absolutely agree with you OP. A conversation needed to be had with parents - “I’m taking little sarahjeffers out on a bike this week - can you send her with a helmet?” My son, many years ago when at a friends house tried to do something fancy on a bike and came off landing on his head. Hospitalised with concussion. It might not happen often with young children, but it can, so why risk it?

girlmom21 · 26/11/2021 08:50

@SarahJeffers341 no you don't have to check all the equipment - that's clearly not what I'm saying - but you'd know she had bikes so could easily have asked whether she provides helmets

Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 08:51

@bigbluebus

I couldn't get worked up about this for a child on a balance bike on a pavement/playground. Do you make them wear head protection on a climbing frame or when they are running? Or any of the other multiple activities where they could fall/ bang their heads? My DS was brought up to wear a helmet at all times once he was riding a pedal bike on the road including in our quiet cul de sac. I also insisted that my DH wore a helmet from then on too (cycle helmets didn't exist when we learnt to ride bikes). None of us go out without a helmet and hi viz clothing now but I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a toddler on a balance bike without one.
My daughter does go quite fast on her bike so picks up speed and could easily (and has) fall off and hurt herself. Obviously wearing a helmet 24/7 would be a bit OTT if not on a bike… that isn’t what I was getting at!
OP posts:
Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 08:52

[quote girlmom21]@SarahJeffers341 no you don't have to check all the equipment - that's clearly not what I'm saying - but you'd know she had bikes so could easily have asked whether she provides helmets [/quote]
Ok.. my bad. I didn’t inspect her shed Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 08:56

@4amstarts

I agree with you OP I'd be really annoyed.

All she has to do is say she wants to take them out on bikes and could you send a helmet - she should ask permission first really

(I found out my CM was taking my 4 year old out in the car with no car seat)

Oh dear lord.. that's terrible!
OP posts:
DemBonesDemBones · 26/11/2021 08:57

@rrhuth it's really not-more a case of it takes one to know one.

rrhuth · 26/11/2021 09:00

[quote DemBonesDemBones]@rrhuth it's really not-more a case of it takes one to know one.[/quote]
It did not come across like that!

It read as a shut down post IMO, especially this: I am confused you feel this strongly

girlmom21 · 26/11/2021 09:01

You genuinely didn't know she had bikes/scooters etc?

Did you not pick her based on her facilities and equipment, as well as her ability to care for your child's basic needs?

I'm not being arsey here at all but I genuinely think you should speak to her about your expectations while your child is in her care and what her capabilities are, and what activities they undertake because if you haven't had those conversations this won't be the only issue you have.

Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 09:04

@saleorbouy

Wearing helmet is not a legal requirement so it's difficult to see how your CM would be liable in any way. Of course wearing a helmet is a good precaution but kids have accidents, bumps and scrapes I think you would.be paying significantly more for your childcare if your childcare if it was necessary for you CM to indemnity herself against normal play incidents. I think you are a little oversensitive, I never wore a helmet until I rode on roads. Kids these days are getting to much "cotton wool" treatment that they don't even see risks amd hazards now.
Over sensitive for wanting my child not to hit her head if it can be avoided. Scrapes and bumps I get, she does it all the time... hitting her head on a pavement at speed without a helmet.. can be avoided.

Too much cotton wool treatment by protecting your child's head.. hmm ok!

OP posts:
unluckyinlife · 26/11/2021 09:04

I would be upset. But thinking about this, my son goes on bikes at school and he isn't provided one, they're play grounds don't have soft tarmac or stuff so it's pretty dangerous.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 26/11/2021 09:06

If she has 3 kids at once going on balance bikes on the pavement next to a road then yes its pretty negligent that she didnt automatically put a helmet on them. It's not that unusual for small children to lose control or fall off and if they're next to a road then it could have awful consequences.

Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 09:06

@BigSandyBalls2015

12 children Shock
I was being sarcastic when someone suggested I only cared so much as she was my precious first born.. as we don't mind about our 2nd, 3rd and 4th getting head injuries!
OP posts:
QualityChecked · 26/11/2021 09:08

I don't think a child needs a helmet on a balance bike. Are there actually any examples of serious injuries involving small children on small bikes that a helmet would have prevented?

That said I am surprised a childminder doesn't do it just for appearances sake. I don't think she can or should provide the helmet, but when taking on a child, could explain that they use bikes and parents need to supply one.

stingofthebutterfly · 26/11/2021 09:08

I could not be fussed about a child not wearing a helmet when toddling around on a balance bike. They're more likely to get a head injury from just running around. If she were taking them for long bike rides on the road then perhaps it'd be a concern, but I can't see an issue with this.

Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 09:09

@girlmom21

You genuinely didn't know she had bikes/scooters etc?

Did you not pick her based on her facilities and equipment, as well as her ability to care for your child's basic needs?

I'm not being arsey here at all but I genuinely think you should speak to her about your expectations while your child is in her care and what her capabilities are, and what activities they undertake because if you haven't had those conversations this won't be the only issue you have.

I knew they used them in the garden, her garden is tiny. It would literally be impossible to pick up any speed. It was last week my dd told me 'Mummy I went down that road on my bike earlier and put my feet up and went really fast'.. then I knew they'd be out and about on them.. not just in the garden.

I feel some here are saying I am being pedantic and some are saying I should be concerned about what else the CM does... so now you can see why I posted as I am confused too!!

OP posts:
whomoon · 26/11/2021 09:09

@Ponoka7

It's a matter of opinion. It would be rare for a child to get a head injury on a balance bike. You've stated your wishes and she's gone with them. I didn't put helmets on my children and my GC don't wear them either, very few children that I've seen do.
How do you know it’s rare for a child to get a head injury on a balance bike? For every 20 kids that go out without a helmet, 1 could get fatally injured, but it’s rare, so that’s okay… Wear helmets kids/adults! You don’t want to be the ‘rare’ statistic! Just because you didn’t when you were a kid, doesn’t mean that attitude should be placed upon the next generation. Safety first!
Original poster
SarahJeffers341 · 26/11/2021 09:10

@stingofthebutterfly

I could not be fussed about a child not wearing a helmet when toddling around on a balance bike. They're more likely to get a head injury from just running around. If she were taking them for long bike rides on the road then perhaps it'd be a concern, but I can't see an issue with this.
toddling down a hill on the pavement near a road?
OP posts: