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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I overreact to blow up over this (child maintenance related)

8 replies

SENmummy73848 · 25/11/2021 12:07

A few months ago, ex lost job and I was no longer receiving any child maintenance (he said that I legally took cm off him when he was working and ‘couldn’t afford’ it - even though he was paying £500 a month on a fancy car and my cm was half of that amount - and so now he wasn’t legally earning any money he legally didn’t have to pay anything either - technically he was correct so left it at that).

Never ever would have thought he would of gone on benefits because he always called me scum for being a bum on benefits (even though I have a disability and care full time for my disabled child too) and as far as I was aware he was living off his wife’s income.

Well low and behold, got a letter from cms today to say he was been receiving benefits for several weeks now and has to pay the standard amount. I have absolutely lost it - that guy has watched me scrimp and cover absolutely everything for our child whilst he has been saying he has no income at all even though he has been receiving between £300-400 a month as well as everyone else around him supporting him financially ever since!

I appreciate it’s only £300-400 a month but £30 a month cm isn’t exactly a huge dent in that is it!

He said I’m petty for kicking off over £7 a month but it isn’t even that, it’s the principle of it and lying until he was eventually caught out that has pissed me off to the max!

Did I overreact?

I have demanded my £7 a week payment from the date he started getting benefits and then to set up a payment scheme going forward, AIBU?

OP posts:
FestiveMayo · 25/11/2021 12:10

You're not unreasonable to want the CMS you are entitled to no. There's no point kicking off though annoying as it is. I'd stick to going through the CMS and save yourself the stress of communicating with him as he sounds like a right sort not even declaring his benefits.

DrSbaitso · 25/11/2021 12:10

No, you are not.

tallduckandhandsome · 25/11/2021 12:12

YANBU. I’d be texting him saying ‘what was that you were saying about people on benefits being scum?’

HarrietsChariot · 25/11/2021 12:14

If you're entitled to the £7, you're entitled to it. Consider whether "kicking off" is helpful to you though - did it make you feel any better? It's fine if it did of course, but sometimes it makes someone feel even worse.

Wildrobin · 25/11/2021 12:15

I wouldn’t inflame anything but do stand up for what you feel is right in a logical, polite and calm way. Even if he doesn’t deserve the polite bit it just keeps things calmer and working better

SENmummy73848 · 25/11/2021 12:18

Oh I definitely did message him and ask what his excuse was for ‘being a bum taking money from the government’ (which is what he has continuously said to me for the last 5 years) and to be honest I was in a complete rage because it’s one lie after the other after the other and I am so sick of him being caught out by other people and I have to deal with the fallout of those lies

OP posts:
tallduckandhandsome · 25/11/2021 12:21

What was his response?

SENmummy73848 · 25/11/2021 15:18

That I was being money hungry apparently and his benefits had nothing to do with me…

OP posts:
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