To ask how i carry on now. Divorce/seperation

[Bippitybopityboo]

My husband of 10 years has left and im broken and i just need to know how i pick up and carry on.
I feel like i cant carry in, i didnt see this coming and im not going to be ok. We have 2 children 3 and 5 and I need to be strong from them but I'm not ok.

Aibu to ask where do i start? I didnt have 'my ducks in a row' i need to stop feeling sorry for myself but i just dont know how to carry on, i relied on him too much and now ive got nothing. Totally my fault i know but what now?

OK. Mega tough. Tbh once the kids are in bed he needs to get out. No sitting around on the sofa - if he's left he's left.

So you need to take steps. Baby steps to begin with to get yourself sorted out.

1. Tonight if you can, make a claim for Universal Credit. This will tell you what your guaranteed money will be so that you can set yourself up. The reason I say do that tonight is that your claim runs from the date they receive it - it is not backdated - and current waits are upwards of 5 weeks for payment. Apply here www.gov.uk/apply-universal-credit

1. Make sure your finances are safe. You say the house savings are in your account - do you have a joint account, any bills to be paid over the next week if so make sure you have access to it all (Internet banking etc) and they are sorted.

1. Sit back and have a gin/whiskey or whatever you tipple and breathe....

You will be OK. You can do this. It is a big shock and things have been turned upside down but you will survive.

1. Figure out what you want/need from the weekend. Did you have plans? What do you want to do with them? Try and make some time for you alone just to get your head some space. He can take the kids out for a few hours - give you some time. But make sure you have a space to have a good time with them too.

There is lots more to do, but none of it urgent. Keep coming back to the thread, we can keep giving you lists and jobs. Mumsnetters have seen it all and will help you get there too.

Take care!

Thankyou thankyou for the replies of lists and practical help you honestly have no idea how much youve helped and i appreciate it.
Hes gone and the kids are in bed and im overcome by loneliness. Weve not spent a night appart since we were married and i dont think I'll get used to it.

Be kind to yourself. It will be ok in time.

Can someone come and be with you tonight. Or tomorrow.

Eat and drink when you can x

My cousin said she would come over but i said no, i dont want to be a burden on someone when all i want to do is cry! Its awful. I wish I could fast forward to when this will feel ok.

People who care about you, friends and family, would not offer to come over unless they were happy to be the shoulder for you to cry on.

If you were my friend in real life and you told me what happened I'd want to come over and hug you and just sit together watching crappy tv with 2 massive blankets, just to keep you company.

You're not a burden on anyone! You're going through shock. Let people help you. It will take time but you can do this. You're a mum, you've got two beautiful kids who adore you and you're stronger than you know already.