Nursery Toilet Training - AIBU

[lineandsinker]

Hi,

My 2yo DS is potty trained at home. However, he will only use the potty and doesn’t like the toilet. He takes himself off to use the potty as and when needed. Same for out and about - he will ask to use the travel potty when he needs to go.

However, nursery won’t allow potty use due to ‘hygiene’, so we are currently going through 8 pairs of pants and trousers each day because he won’t use the toilet there. I’m loathe to put him in nappies for nursery at that will confuse him.

Having spoken to friends with children at other nurseries, our nursery’s policy with regards to potty use seems a little unusual.

AIBU to think they should just let him use the potty if that’s his normal way of toileting? I get that he will need to transition to the toilet in the future but I just want him to be clean at nursery before we then think about moving away from the potty.

Of course they should! They're discriminating by not letting him. I'll try and find something on paper for you. Deffo fight it.

www.eric.org.uk/Handlers/Download.ashx?IDMF=ccf2fedd-9f98-44c0-9d78-ae92091a9c17

That’s fucking ridiculous. I’ve worked in early years since 12 years and I’ve literally never heard the likes of it. How can they just be content to let him wet himself all day long? He must be so upset poor thing.

Would make sense to use potty he only going hold it in causing problems if he’s scared of the loo. Even small loos can feel big and scary for toddlers. Can you not use pull ups in mean time? He still know
He is going but he not need changing after every wee or a full set of clothes. He must spent half the day in bathroom being changed and cleaned up no fun at all

"Child's individual needs are identified & met" "suitable facility is offered" (potty mentioned specifically). This is an up to date policy from a reputable source & was published in nursery world magazine. Print it and take it to the nursery. Tell them they need to meet your sons needs or you will be reporting them - to ofsted, governors etc.

We do potty with encouragement to move to toilet. They move to toilet so quick it seems odd not to use a potty for a couple weeks.

It really is appalling. I think id be removing him tbh, because if they're ok with this what else is going on

Yanbu.

Lots of toilet trained children don't like to be left in a pull up they have weed in - even though it doesnt feel wet they are well aware they've wet themselves and they are often not happy about it. How would an adult feel if told they had to wee in a nappy all day?

They are being completely ridiculous. My 2 year old is only 82cm and extremely petite, even smaller sized toilets are too big for her. Its completely normal for toddlers to use potties regularly. The squatting position is also much better for eliminating.

The pulls up was suggestion while they sort out the potty issue. Not perfect granted but better than wetting self every hour in front of your friends.

Weeing in a pull up is still wetting yourself if you are toileting trained!

He’s wetting himself anyway just easier clean up the mess

That's terrible. DD recently started using the potty and she doesn't want to use the big toilet yet which is fine, she'll get there when she's ready. But I'd be furious if she was being left to soil herself multiple times a day. And she would get very upset at peeing in a nappy now. It would be very distressing for her.

Do they just ignore him while he wets himself? I'm struggling to understand what their thought process is or how they can claim to be looking after him when they're ignoring one of his most basic needs.

That's crazy! I can't imagine why they would have that policy, and how on earth they can justify letting a 2yo wet themselves all day. Doesn't sound like a great nursery.

Thanks for all of your responses so far.

@thisisnotagooduseofmytime - thanks for that link, that’s really useful for us to back up our argument!

@2020isnotbehaving - I’m loathe to use pull ups as they feel too much like nappies; when we used pull ups at home during initial potty training, we found they were a hindrance more than a help, IYSWIM. He made much better progress and made the ‘connection’ once we switched to pants.

@Starcaller - I think part of the issue is also that they take him to the toilet at set times when, at home, he either asks to use the potty or will take himself off there of his own accord. They are a fabulous nursery apart from this one thing; we’ve had no complaints at all since he’s been there and he loves going.

Surly they can just tip the contents and clean the potty, much more hygienic than a child wetting themselves

@Freddiefox Quite.

YANBU!