"Optional" primary school projects

[neverbeenskiing]

DD (7) has times tables and spellings to learn every week which they're tested on each Friday, these are supposed to be practiced each night. She also has one piece of English homework and one piece of Maths homework each week and we have to listen to her read, ask her questions about what she's read and comment on her understanding in her reading diary each night. They lose a house point if there are any gaps in their reading diary and they miss their playtime if any homework is not done. DH and I both work FT, I am usually home about 6pm and he gets home about 6.30pm. We also have a 2 year old. So fitting all this in along with DD's swimming and music lessons can be difficult but we manage and I accept that it needs to be done.

In addition to the above, DD's school like to regularly set 'optional' extra home learning tasks, which are then judged and a winner chosen from each class. These tend to be large, complicated projects that take a lot of time and no 7 year old could realistically do without a lot of parental involvement. Think constructing a castle with a working drawbridge and a moat, or designing and carrying out a science experiment and illustrating your method, hypothesis and results on a giant poster, that sort of thing. They will email us with the brief (which is usually an A4 page long) and a deadline, and the email will always say that it's "optional". Fair enough. My issue is that every time without fail DD will come home a few days before the deadline and tell us they've had an assembly where the Head Teacher has told them all about this very important project they "have to" do and that it needs to be really good because the best one will get a prize! One of us then ends up spending most of the weekend frantically trying to cobble together a project with DD while the other one deals with the toddler, at the expense of family time and all the other jobs that need to be done at weekends because we don't have time in the week.

AIBU in thinking that there is no point in the school framing something as being "optional" to parents if they're then going to get the kids all excited about it as the majority of parents will feel they have to do it?

I think of optional projects a bit like residential trips or clubs. We explain to DC that there are some we can do and some that we can’t, and that it’s always going to be like that as there isn’t time to do everything but that some people might not have seen the email or the letter so the teachers make a big assembly about it to promote it. Usually end up pointing at adverts on tv and saying just because we’re being told doesn’t mean we have to buy it/do it.
Usually DC pick one project each and work on it over time because I abhor the last minute struggle because it makes me stressed. We often get other people involved too ie DD and her friend did a shared thing a while ago or one of my friends who is very creative will often have DS for the day to do it with him.

I think you are putting too much pressure on yourselves.
Plenty of other parents will get the badgering and just go nope not happening.
Others (the best ones imo) will provide materials and let their kids crack on with it without input.
You can bet there'll be a lot of staffroom eye rolling about the obviously helped ones.

We explain to DC that there are some we can do and some that we can’t, and that it’s always going to be like that as there isn’t time to do everything but that some people might not have seen the email or the letter so the teachers make a big assembly about it to promote it.

We've tried this. DD is always adamant after these assemblies that it's compulsory, that it's really important and that the Head has told them they need to "remind their parents". Not sure whether this is reality or her perception but this is the impression she comes away with so it makes it very difficult.

one of my friends who is very creative will often have DS for the day to do it with him.

I need a friend like this!

That’s really annoying. It must drive the other parents crackers too.

OP is it a private or state school? I ask as I have a child in each sector and the state school only sets timestables, spelling and reading with no consequences if it is not done as they know that the child basically gets punished for the parents' circumstances. The private school on the other hand, loaded us with the dreaded crafts-based homework at weekends. It is all so pointless. I would feed this back to the school.

@CruCru you would think so but lots of the parents in DD's class seem to live for this stuff! I had to mute the class WhatsApp group during lockdown as they were forever spamming with pictures of elaborate arts and crafts projects and all the fun, educational activities they were doing. Me and DH were both working from home FT and just trying to get through the day without killing each other was a challenge!

@Googleplexian it's a state school. But it's in an affluent area and the school do seem to operate on the assumption that every child has a SAHP or at least one parent working very PT.

I'd write to the school tbh it's really unreasonable. It's not the same as your children growing up knowing their parents couldn't afford to send them on that school skiing trip,; you risk children growing up thinking their parents didn't have the time or inclination to help them with their homework.

That’s grim. A 7 year old shouldn’t be tested every Friday and have their play time taken away for not doing homework, which realistically a 7 year old will need help/reminding/encouragement to achieve - what if they don’t have that at home? They get punished?

I wish schools would actually look into child psychology. Testing doesn’t assist with learning in Primary aged children.

The optional projects for that age actually sound ok, as long as you can just leave your child to get on with it and they don’t expect anything spectacular from the outcome - it’s the process of going through the stages of the project that assist with learning.

I'm getting the rage just thinking about it I loathe these projects. Don't schools think about the kids whose parents don't have the time, money or inclination to do them? What is the purpose of them?

I will never forget the Rainforest Day project in year 5. Children were asked to create rainforest models and parents were invited into school to see the 'exhibition'. A couple of children did felt tip drawings on A4 paper, and they were completely overshadowed by all the kids proudly showing off their amazing feats of engineering with batteries, running water etc or elaborately decorated cakes which a 9 year old would just not manage on their own (I know one boy's dad had made his). The thing that really pissed me off was that the school barely looked at them. The kids took them in on the morning of the exhibition, there was a sports day thing in the afternoon and the kids were sent home with the projects at the end of the day. What was the point of it all?

I just can't see the justification for setting some kids up for humiliation and pissing parents off in this way.

For one of the kids they just get a homework worksheet a week on top of the usual spellings and reading. The other younger child is still in the homework project hell age - but we get a sheet at the start of each half term with about 9 activities linked to the topic or a "do something else that interests you linked to the Egyptians" comment and we're expected to turn in 3 over the course of the term on specific dates - always a good mix of over the top parent fodder and easy doss ones. DD is one for an easy life so goes for the doss option!

[quote neverbeenskiing]@CruCru you would think so but lots of the parents in DD's class seem to live for this stuff! I had to mute the class WhatsApp group during lockdown as they were forever spamming with pictures of elaborate arts and crafts projects and all the fun, educational activities they were doing. Me and DH were both working from home FT and just trying to get through the day without killing each other was a challenge![/quote]
Haha! Oh god, yes this.

The animatronic robot dog made from yoghurt pots springs to mind.

Meanwhile I'm trying not to lose my mind, while working off my phone as the kids have both laptops & want another snack.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when people invest in their kids but a little discretion would have been appreciated some days in lockdown 😂

DD is one for an easy life so goes for the doss option!

This would be my preference but DD is the opposite!

The default assumption should be that parents work rather than the other way round so the school should be imagining the 6 year olds doing the homework at 6pm or their weekend and thinking about whether that really is a sensible use of time and in the best interest of the child.

It's a firm NO from me. I hate these things and am far too old to be doing homework for my children. If they can do it mostly unaided they can crack on but I've got stuff to do.

The optional projects for that age actually sound ok, as long as you can just leave your child to get on with it and they don’t expect anything spectacular from the outcome

This is what frustrates me. The projects are always far too complicated for a 7 year old to be given the materials and left to it and the ones that win are always completely OTT, very obviously done by an adult while the child presumably has to watch them and try not to get in the way.

My dc went to a primary like this with parents bringing in massive projects on behalf of their dc who could barely use scissors as the parents would just take over every time they tried.

It will stop by year five when your own child will be mortified by your very existence and the other children would annihilate a working Tutankhamen project made by someone’s Mam.

You can’t throw time on this so throw some money at it if you want to help your dd do one of these projects. Provide her with the resources to make a really good project. Having the right stuff makes the whole thing a hell of a lot easier.

My DC are adults now but I used to hate this also. 2 working parents and DC did a lot of activities in evenings and weekends.

Once when youngest was about 8, their task was to make a puppet. I left DC to it with encouragement and he did a pretty good job. Think wooden spoon, glue, material, wool and marker pens type thing. Anyway, clearly some parents had helped (one was a complete string puppet!) The class voted and the parents efforts won a prize and DC was gutted. It wasn't really like him as he understood that you can't always win yada yada. However, the teacher ended up giving him a small prize after class had ended as she thought his was the best of the non helped ones. It tells something that i remember this about 13 years later!

Why are the OTT ones- with very clear help from parents- mostly the ones chosen for the 'prize'?

If the prize was judged on 'own work' and 'recycled materials', then all kids could have a bash at it without much parental involvement. This would prevent mum/dad from spending hours on the project and dropping huge amounts of money at Cass Art and the like to get a semi professional finish.

I'd give her the resources to do the best she can.
A castle? Maybe Baker ross have something. Or maybe she can draw one on card and cut it out and use card and tape to stand it up. It won't have a working moat etc but at least she can say she did it herself. What is the point in setting the parents homework?

Science experiment, there are actually some science cupcake things I've seen in supermarket, you could do that together and she can draw a step by step poster herself. Or something out a science kit... if you have a printer, print off a photo of said project she can glue on. Or maybe even take a picture of steps and she can glue those on

@Pigsears

Why are the OTT ones- with very clear help from parents- mostly the ones chosen for the 'prize'?

If the prize was judged on 'own work' and 'recycled materials', then all kids could have a bash at it without much parental involvement. This would prevent mum/dad from spending hours on the project and dropping huge amounts of money at Cass Art and the like to get a semi professional finish.

In DCs class it was because they let the children vote and when they are young, they don't always take into account that the person had help, they just vote for the one that looks the best. It would be better for the teacher to pick as they have a better idea of which child has produced what and how much effort they've made.

so a prize for the best overall and another for the best effort would be good.

The school has given you something optional because believe it or not, there are a lot of parents that beg for more homework than the usual spellings, reading etc.

They will never be able to please everyone.

@LethargicActress I completely understand this and I have no problem with the school setting optional extra projects for those that want them. My frustrations are
a.) they describe it as being "optional" in the email to parents but then make a big song and dance about it in assembly and tell the DC to "remind your parents" which sends a different message.
b.) The projects themselves are unecessarily complicated, time-consuming and reliant on a lot of parental input.

Why can't the parents who want the DC to do more just do stuff with their own children at home? Does it only have value if the school have set and marked the task? That really sound more like virtue signalling from the parents than anything desirable from a DC point of view.

There are any number of on-line or other resources for those that want to (and have the time to) stretch their children or give them other experiences or cater to specific interests.

I'm obviously not talking here about children who need additional support from school to meet their needs, I'm talking about parents wanting more homework or tasks so they can be seen to be doing more. Just do more if you want, it doesn't need to be "seen".

I am old and my primary school days were not sullied by homework. We just didn't have it. We did have school activities outside school hours though, like sports and choir, but those were absolutely voluntary. No homework until we were old enough to tackle it by ourselves, i.e. secondary school.
I don't like seeing so much pressure put on families - when do the children get to play?