...to want to get away from here?

[MadTilda]

NC for this because it's fairly outing with my other posts.

To cut a long story short: 15 years ago we made it to the perfect house in the perfect spot. Good schools. Lovely nature. No crime. Conservative with a small c and a big C. Picture perfect. Utter, utter boredom.

Now the kids are at university (both my DH and I are WFH) and we cannot wait to get away from 'paradise'. We are desperate for city life. I am dreaming of moving to Manchester, where I did my doctorate a few years ago. We used to live in London before children so we are used to city life.

I am wondering, however, if 20 years out of the city have turned me into a bit of a suburban bod myself - am I just having a fanciful idea of what living in the city is, based on being in my 20s and partying? I wonder if I am looking at this with idealistic rose-tinted glasses.

So this is my AIBU:

• NO you are not being unreasonable: small town life is boring and the death of the soul and you are on the right track, put the house on the market, dust the Manc accent and go. You have nothing to lose but your chains.

• YES you are unreasonable: you are fooling yourself that the grass is greener and life is fun elsewhere. You always forget to lock the door and are naive to the point of embarrassment. You will make a fool of yourself in town. Stay put. You have everything there. Come to terms with it. Enjoy your life.

Thoughts? (and suggestions of good places to live in Manchester?).

I would rather spend the money it would cost to research and move to a city by paying for lots of hotel stays in said city(or cities) . So you have the best the city can offer and yet have peace and quiet to refresh yourself.

I've lived in central-ish London for 30 years, figured I'd rather spend less time commuting, and travel out at weekends.
I do love it, but beginning to consider moving out a bit, but probably not really rural - probably zone 4 or 5, so that I could afford a garden, but still travel in easily.

Have you considered an air b and b for a week or two in Manchester just to see how being there feels?

Titterofwit, lateral thinking - I like it, but if we were to do that we would still have the daily relationships, say, the running club, from here and the city would be somewhere we go for a visit rather than what we are.

I am realising that this house was never 'perfect' for me (or DH) it was perfect for a growing family. Now the family is grown and I want space for myself. Just not too sure where that space may be.

ThinWomansBrain having a garden is great - but do not underestimate the different people you'll live near to if you move out. Also maybe not in zone 4 or 5 but the lack of diversity is dragging me down a bit. Bit fed up of being the only 'ethnic' person.

That's a really good idea Coop80! Why didn't I think about it?! I can actually take my laptop and work and pretend I live there. Thank you :)

Move to Manchester! I live here, it’s the best place in the world.

@Doublevodka

Move to Manchester! I live here, it’s the best place in the world.

Thank you Doublevodka, that's what I was hoping to hear! :) Where do you live if you don't mind me asking?

YANBU age is partly a state of mind and you'll age faster in dullsville

I'd take the opportunity to get out - maybe you won't be partying, but you might want to have a drink somewhere lively, have access to arts and culture nearby and so on.

Now kids have gone and the countryside has served its 'good schools' purpose, I'd say take the opportunity to get back into the city. Especially before you get older and it could get harder to move - I am determined that wherever I live when I retire will have shops on services on its doorstep; much more important than 'peace and quiet' when you may have years ahead of you where you're less mobile.

MadTilda, I’m in south Manchester, about 4 miles from the centre. I’m a Manc born and bred and lived nearer the city growing up in various areas. I still love the buzz of the city, the pubs, clubs, restaurants, museums, the music and the people. It’s very multi-cultural and I think we’re quite friendly. I love going to London but find it just a bit too vast and busy. Manchester has just the right level excitement for me. Also not too far from some stunning countryside in the High Peak and Derbyshire.

You should move just because you live somewhere thats a big C. Reduce the numbers a bit it might help at the next election.

@thumpingrug I am sorry I have expressed this wrongly: I am not a Tory!! Never even kissed one. That's one of the reasons why I want to move. Definitely the Torydom of the manor wasn't a reason for its perfection.

Doublevodka south Manchester all the way! That's where I was based when I did my doctorate :) although because my subject/material was out of Mc I stayed in the city much less than i would have liked! I am, in fact, looking at SM houses now. Quite near the centre. I do not mind the area being a bit studenty at all.

@NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy

YANBU age is partly a state of mind and you'll age faster in dullsville

very good point well made :D

"Especially before you get older and it could get harder to move - I am determined that wherever I live when I retire will have shops on services on its doorstep; much more important than 'peace and quiet' when you may have years ahead of you where you're less mobile." - yep totally agree with this too.

Definitely move, we live in a similar sounding area - perfectly nice, (in fact people come here on holiday ) but after ten years we just find it so dull .... we are seriously considering moving to a city when we retire...there will just be so much more to do ... decent libraries, art galleries, lunch time concerts in cathedrals etc. Just walking round a city in the day time and having a coffee out can seem 'energising'.

Also, to be boringly practical, being somewhere within walking distance to services/shops/good public transport is essential when you become elderly.

Seen it countless times on the Elderly Parents board (and in real life) where 85 year old parents are struggling and isolated because there’s only one bus a day to get to the doctor and shops.

Good luck!

If you can afford somewhere like Didsbury or Chorlton that would be great - nice local shops within walking distance, but easy access to the city.

YANBU. You could live in a smart city centre apartment and walk everywhere, eat out a lot, go to the theatre, galleries, museums, etc etc.

Some have parking if you want a car to get out into the countryside, or you could join a car club. If you fly on holiday, you just get the train to the airport.

Sounds like a great way to live and I can't see a downside if that's the lifestyle you want.

What about Chorlton? Rent an air bnb for a week and see how it feels?

I think a week or two in an Airbnb would basically just give you holiday vibes, not living there vibes, so from that POV i think save your money.

But- you know what you’re getting into so i also say go for it and move!

I have a city home and a country home and bounce between the two. Still can't decide which suits me best. Joke with DH he'll end up in one and me in the other. In lockdown we both stayed in the country and were very grateful for it. If you try a month long air B&B and love it, maybe look at downsizing to two smaller properties.

OP totally get it, we are on the same page. We moved out of the city for a family and it was the right move at that stage in our life. We are now in suburbia with teens (okay as we can all access what we want easily but still feels safe and quiet) but we are already dreaming of downsizing back to city life once the kids are grown and move out.
Culture and variety of life on the doorstep rather than a drive away. Imagining feeling stuck in these four walls and bored is terrifying. The garden was great for the kids but is just more stuff I can’t be arsed to maintain … I’ll never be a gardener in my retirement. Chores are not hobbies!

I moved ro the country from a city. An island actually.
Couldnt go back.
Oh I like a shopping frenzy now and then, but a weekend does it and then I REALLY need away from the stink and the noise. I would actually wither and die back in a city....

I am not a Tory!! Never even kissed one.

Ha! Put this on a tshirt, I'd buy one.