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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Gove spiked Johnson’s drink today

39 replies

Russianmax · 22/11/2021 21:19

I hate the Tories and Johnson- but that speech today ...

I couldn’t bare to watch. It was so painful. And worst of all I actually felt sorry for Johnson.

What on earth was going on?

There’s talk of it being a distraction from the health care bill. But Johnson wasn’t acting or putting on a show. That was real falling to pieces.

I wonder what was going on his head. It seemed like he was in turmoil and couldn’t concentrate. Either that or he was drunk or drugged.

AIBU to think there’s a plot to get rid of him and he was worrying about that?

OP posts:
SpindlesWhorl · 23/11/2021 07:40

It's in every paper this morning. And no-one seems to be finding it endearing or funny any more.

echt · 23/11/2021 07:47

Superb takedown:

www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/nov/22/boris-johnson-makes-pig-ear-winning-the-cbi-back-over

Sadly, I think Boris Johnson will continue to get away with it. Why not? It was known he was like this before he got the Tory leadership.

PAFMO · 23/11/2021 07:49

Worth a few quotes from it:

"Even if we are still bumping elbows and wearing masks.

I am not going to pretend that everything is going to be plain sailing.

We can see the state of the pandemic abroad.

wearing masks- except you, you dozey fucker
pandemic abroad?- looking a lot better than it is here, you dozey fucker

"we have employment back in work at pre-pandemic levels."

Is he personifying "employment" there? Has our old mate "employment" been given a job in the Amazon warehouse then? What does that even mean? Somebody actually wrote that and thought it made sense?

"And I would much rather have our problems today – which are fundamentally caused by a return in global confidence and a surge in demand."

So, are the problems today actually not problems then? Eh?

"But also the imbalance between British business."

That's not a full sentence you dozey fucker. "between" needs something to be compared with.

"Rich and green from the drowned meadows of doggerland"

So he WAS on the common that night with all the others. I always thought he was.

Here's the moment where it all goes a bit Waco.

A new Decalogue that I produced exactly a year ago, when I came down from Sinai and I said to my officials the new ten commandments thou shalt develop:

Here he segues into dogging again, with a pinch of Waco

There are also sound evolutionary reasons why mother nature does not like working from home.

So I people prophesy that people will come back, Tony – they will come to the office.

(If I were Tony, I'd run for them there hills, he probably doesn't want to become part of a suicide cult or shag a Lib Dem on a frosty wet piece of grass)

"So you get fin tech, ed tech, bio tech, med tech, nano tech, ag tech, green tech, So you sound basically like 15th century Mexico."

I actually have no words for that one.

Or this one

There are only 3 countries that have produced more than 100 tech unicorns

Or the Peppa Pig ramblings.

But I can't wait to read "I See You" next Monday.

Mumoblue · 23/11/2021 07:49

YABU to think it’s some conspiracy against him rather than the fact he simply can’t be arsed. He’s also well known to use distraction tactics, like messing up his hair. There’s been an awful lot of talk about Tory corruption. Maybe he’s trying to pull a “poor boris he doesn’t look well”.
Or maybe he was just plastered.
Either way it’ll be a cold day in hell when I feel sorry for him.

PAFMO · 23/11/2021 07:49

@MammaLovesLeopard

I haven't seen it. Can someone please post a link?
It's worth reading just for the utter wtfery www.gov.uk/government/speeches/pm-speech-at-the-cbi-conference-22-november-2021
LagunaBubbles · 23/11/2021 07:54

Hes got a drinking problem thats finally catching up with him I think.

Saucery · 23/11/2021 07:56

It suddenly hit him he couldn’t bullshit and bluster the CBI and he froze.

Thecazelets · 23/11/2021 08:21

Just lazy and ill-prepared I think. Probably hadn't even bothered to look at the speech before standing up. He was well known for it as MoL and nothing's changed. He just makes stuff up as he goes along and throws in silly jokes; usually the Tories are charmed by it.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 23/11/2021 08:23

I notice he didn't mention Dr Brown bear in his eulogy to Peppa Pig World.

Obsidiansphere · 23/11/2021 08:49

Coke and booze come down

Skysblue · 23/11/2021 13:36

Boris Johnson has never been remotely competent to do the fast-paced, high-pressure, intellectually demanding job the lied and manipulated his way into. And he knows it. And a lot of people died as a result.

So it isn’t a big surprise that after doing it for more than two years in one of the toughest situations the country has ever found itself in, he’s… Well… Crumbling?

MoonriseKingdom · 23/11/2021 13:39

Surprisingly subtle from The Daily Mash Grin
www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/daddy-pig-turns-up-to-work-pissed-20211123214561

MammaLovesLeopard · 23/11/2021 22:37

Thanks @PAFMO

You are certainly looking very thrusting today!

WTF is bouncebackability?!
Great job Eton! 🙈🙈🙈

drpet49 · 23/11/2021 22:39

Nope. I don’t feel sorry for Boris Johnson. He deserves all that is coming.

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