Do people really spend £300 on their kids console

[Arren12]

Hi

My dd who is 8 has been asking for a console for ages and ages now. We have never owned anything like that. She's autistic and has never played with toys so we are limited to what we can get her for Xmas. I thought I'd look at getting a console of some sort but I'm gobsmacked at the price.

Most of her friends at school have had them for ages so obviously people must spend this but its seems so excessive.

We are by no means rich but we are not struggling for money. We are quite comfortable. Its just I feel its such a lot and think about what else that money could go on.

As I say my dd does not play in the traditional sense and spends all her time doing arts and crafts. We have every art and craft thing you can imagine so can't get her any more of that really. This seemed ideal but its way more than I'd normally like to spend on each child.

What do others do? Is it that people do spend £300 on Xmas gifts or is it purely seen as a one off big purchase.

The games are also so expensive.

Do most children have a console.

I feel a bit like I'm a bad mum because dd seems one of the only children in her class not to game. This was evident in a recent homework assignment.

Aibu to be shocked that parents are spending this and wondering how most afford it or feel comfortable with it.

My kids don’t have the latest one but that’s because none of them have really shown an interest in them.

They’ve got a second hand Nintendo, one before the switch and seem quite content with that, they are 11 and 14

My ds used to have an x box he’s 22 now and not interested anymore and we’ve had a second hand game

I wouldn’t say not having one socially disadvantages kids, mine don’t communicate with friends through a console but I’d say when they get to high school age not having a phone with WhatsApp etc does. That’s how they all seem to chat to each other outside of school

A Switch Lite is £200 and there are often offers where you get a game thrown in for free.

Yes my ds 6 has a switch and ipad

Ds got the Xbox series X earlier this year, it was £559 as a bundle with a game & headset. It gets used every day & is well worth the money I paid for it.

I have teens with ASD, I didn’t get them a console until the youngest was 13. For my younger children, they don’t have tablets or switches they have secondhand Nintendo DS and are quite happy with those. You don’t have to buy them or buy new just because other people do…I found out my 3 year old was the only child at her nursery without her own tablet, so what? Oh and my son, who does the most gaming, will always choose family board games/chess/backgammon/cards etc over it, does your daughter like those?

My five year old has an iPad and is getting a Switch for Christmas. It's what he wants.

I have 2 boys and tbh it would be impossible to have resisted getting then xbox's. ALL of their friends have one and they all play together on them. I used to have a console (of sorts) in the 90's but obviously the technology dodnt exist to chat to friends on them in those days so we used to walk the streets of an evening...I'd rather my two didnt do that they cost about £250/£300 each although we didnt buy them at the same time. If we buy games online, they can share them for no extra cost

As a poster said get a second hand one but be careful about games as I don’t think they are always interchangeable.

@Ericaequites

Buy her a Girl for All Time doll, knitting lessons, sewing lessons, and a sewing machine instead. Gaming is bad for concentration, and it rots the mind.

Do you want to post some evidence for that comment or is that just your personal opinion?

Well said @catterycatcat
I worked with an ed psych recently with a child and he kept suggesting gaming options to help the child with various issues we were discussing.

It's also just a fact that for many children their social life will be helped by getting a console so long as it's whatever their friends use so they can communicate,.

My teen son and his friends all meet online after dinner to play some group game for an hour. Then they talk about it in school. Tough for the children who don't have access.

Buy her a Girl for All Time doll, knitting lessons, sewing lessons, and a sewing machine instead. Gaming is bad for concentration, and it rots the mind.

You know what is worse for girls than gaming? Gender stereotyping. You assuming that a girl should be more interested in knitting and dolls than gaming. After all, you haven't suggested any gender neutral toys, like a bike or lego. Nope, you've gone straight for "worthy", feminine pursuits. Sitting quietly in a corner doing something you consider worthwhile.

Get out of the 1950s. Id rather give my child a computer game with a strong female protagonist (which are pretty hard to find thanks to attitudes like yours re girls shouldn't game) than another doll. Just so you know, girls can game and play with dolls too you know.

We got our boys a Switch which was nearly £300 but my husbands a huge gamer so they all play together and we're getting our moneys worth. When i think about ALL the hotwheels/tracks/playsets i dont think the spend is much different and they seem to get bored of that much faster. Same can be said of lego....they have to be in the mood for it - but i will never tire of adding to the lego collection. I am still using the lego i had as a child....games consoles much more likely to grow with child and will last a long time if well cared for unlike many of the faddy toys

Better spent on?
Depends on your view. I don't see it that way at all. Depends on your child. Ds1 and Ds2 , older teens, still play and we've had one for 10+ years now. Dh always often searched and searched and found a cheap 2nd hand 'new' one without a box type thing, at Xmas.

Oh my word it was worth every penny. Best money we've ever spent. Over the years. Hours and hours of fun and laughter. We've never had any problems no fallings out, no bullying, no issues whatsoever : rather the only one being playing it too much and Us having to control that!

During Covid playing on the Xbox was an absolutely massive thing for 11 and 12-year-olds etc, all my Friends say it was, absolute saving grace for them when they couldn't go out and see each other.

@Ericaequites

Buy her a Girl for All Time doll, knitting lessons, sewing lessons, and a sewing machine instead. Gaming is bad for concentration, and it rots the mind.

Holy stereotypes, Batman!

And I do believe it develops friendships and social skills a great deal actually. Rather than hinders them.
Both my DS have great friendship groups that they see in school, outside of school, both play football, and this is all part of it and it develops things and it helps things a lot, for certain children.

My main objections are 1. Gaming is a bit of a waste of time 2. It teaches kids a bad lesson to be given hugely expensive kit. They learn to be consumers with no sense of the value of money. If my 15 year old wants to get a part-time job and buy himself an Xbox, that’s fine.

I disagree with all the above.

My partner has always had a console.
My kids were 10 & 6 when he moved in and its always been set up on the only tv in house- they use it more than him ( we have 2 dc together now) same console - Xbox 1.
We wont buy another unless this one breaks.
The Dc have no other personal gadgets (the older 2 got a mobile phone each age 11 & dc1 a laptop at age 16 for college which were needed)
Im not buying them their own consoles-tablets- switch ect ,as for us its unnecessary & Im not giving into what their peers have.
My children are not autistic though and I can see why such gadgets would support children with a disability.

Buy it as a gift for the whole family not just her. It spreads the cost and makes it easier to set limits on reasonable time spent on it if they have to share with others.

Be very, very careful about any game with online chat facilities, there are absolutely people who use these to try and access children - switch is a better console for this as there are less opportunities for that to happen.

I personally would not get a headset until child is in their teens already and a bit more savvy.

Nope.
We got an xbox "free" with a mobile phone contract when our dc were small. Ds1 bought himself his own on black Friday one year when the price dropped massively.

Look for deals, they are there you just have to find them.

I see your point .however sadly this is the reality. Many children want to fit in and by having a ps4 they will be able to share their experiences with their chums. I remember feeling as you do when dc were younger.got the ps and never looked back really

@SushiGo

I personally would not get a headset until child is in their teens already and a bit more savvy.

Do you mean to ban chat altogether or just so you can hear what is being said? DS (now 11) really started using a headset to chat with his friends since the start of lockdown. I think he would have struggled during lockdown without this contact and now this online chatting between his friendship group is the norm.

I am not sure though I would want to hear them all them if DS didn't have a headset. DS is already pretty savvy anyway but I do keep a very close eye on who he chatting with.

[quote newname12345]@SushiGo

I personally would not get a headset until child is in their teens already and a bit more savvy.

Do you mean to ban chat altogether or just so you can hear what is being said? DS (now 11) really started using a headset to chat with his friends since the start of lockdown. I think he would have struggled during lockdown without this contact and now this online chatting between his friendship group is the norm.

I am not sure though I would want to hear them all them if DS didn't have a headset. DS is already pretty savvy anyway but I do keep a very close eye on who he chatting with.[/quote]
10 and 11yo boys - and especially ones with autism are extremely vulnerable to being targeted, there's quite a few article out there but this is an example: how far right use video games and tech to recruit teenagers

There are other ways for kids of this age to talk to each other while gaming - most have phones and you can set up a call between kids quite easily and know its only them on the line which is the main thing.

My DD had a Nintendo DS but never used it that much, we have an Xbox that they use a little bit, but they both(dd8 and ds5) asked for a switch this year so we got them one to share because I wouldn't want it in their rooms so they can play it together in the living room.

I've literally just ordered a Nintendo Switch for my 6 year old, it's expensive, but we will all use it and she's not getting a lot else!

It's way more than I would normally spend on her in total for Christmas, will go back to our much lower budget next year!

Some families will spend £300 on a DC at Christmas or birthday, especially if you factor in extended family presents as well. So if that's a threshold you're comfortable with, then why not put it all into one big thing like a games console if you think the DC will really use it. Sometimes we think "oooohhhh £300 is an awful lot to spend" without stopping to add up what we actually send every Christmas anyway. A games console has the potential to be really good value, in that they'll potentially keeping using it after they've grown out of whatever else you buy them.

But I might be sensitive in that DH's parents were / are always tight as two coats of paint very down on 'extravagance' and prone to loud "Why would you want to spend money on THAT" declarations about everything (they didn't even have a TV back in the day) and it was a bit crap for DH growing up and is still quite draining to deal with.